Hello everyone. Before I get into the thread I should give some context on who I am and why it matters. I don't use this forum as much as I want to but my addiction goes back as far back as the age of 11. I'm now 23. I've been trying to quit for years but no luck. Obviously, it's stunted my growth as a person. I'm a late bloomer to everything in my life. The root of my P addiction comes from a traumatic event that happened when I was 11 and P basically hijacked my brain to make me feel wanted in a time where I felt unwanted. Since then it's never shifted. I recently became a Christian which is more incentive to quit as it's a sin and it affects both myself, my relationship with my future wife, and my relationship with God. On to the main problem. I work in a school as an IT Apprentice. I've been trying to get one for over a year but I managed to get it. The school I work at isn't great. It's considered the "bad school" but it's in a trust of schools so I was forced to go there even though it's not what I asked for. I was very frustrated over many weeks but I was doing well on NoFap. During the summer break when I was working, I was in a classroom on my own working on the computers in there and the urge hits me. I'm on my work laptop which doesn't have all the software I have that I put on my personal laptop to guard me against P. So I looked at some P for about 20 seconds and then shut it off. I knew I screwed up real bad. A couple of weeks later I get called into work after my week of study I do every month. My boss said he needed my help. At this point, I started my summer break for 3 weeks. I meet with my boss and a HR lady. I was preparing to y'know help around the school. But my boss tells me dead on "we detected that on your work laptop there was inappropriate content" my heart sank. They detected it with Esafe which is basically spyware on all PCs belonging to the school. Of course, I denied it, it's not like I could admit it. They took my laptop for "investigation" which sent my anxiety through the roof. I had to wait a day for their "results" and yep they found what I looked at a few weeks prior but not quite. I did admit in a meeting with the head of HR and head of Operations which basically had to judge if I would be suspended. They didn't see what I looked at as I removed the history and I use Oprea which is quite secure. I told them about my addiction and why it happened. In their final judgment, they suspended me for an indefinite amount of time with a medical referral. I have a phone meeting on the 7th with a doctor and an in-person meeting with the headteacher on the 10th. I was expecting them to say "don't do it again" and let me go but no they were very strict. All this has caused my addiction to get worse as it's made anxiety much more erratic as I don't want to lose my apprenticeship because I'm doing so well. I'm hoping that they can make me a little better as it's gone as far as to interrupt my work. I might update you guys on this story but let me know if you guys would like to know how it goes. If anyone has advice or anything let me know. If you like to call me an idiot for this dumb mistake, you can do that too. Thanks, for reading. Update: I had a call from the doctor they referred me too. Basically they're going to get me in contact with a counselor. I have a meeting with the headteacher like I've mentioned this Friday. I'm expecting to get a bollarking. I just came back from the meeting and they added stuff to my "allegations". No joke, they said I breached policy for using Opera and installing Minecraft. I'm beyond annoyed that they have the audacity to add to my dumb mistake with anything they can get their hands on. Anyways I'm still waiting on a counselor. Update: I got a letter in the post. I'm suspended for another month. Is it just me or are they're taking this way too far? I don't know how long I can keep this up with my family. I told them I'm working from home. Even my mum was being really nosey with the letter I got which clearly says "private and confidential" and I'm not allowed to tell them. She's now being really petty because I'm "hiding something". I'm just gonna try and just get on with life. While I'm in exile I do have plans to improve on my skills. For example, I have books to read, music to make, and IT stuff to learn ie I want to learn ethical hacking. Wish me luck.