P.E. Concerns About The Future

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by P__phonic, Jan 13, 2016.

  1. P__phonic

    P__phonic Fapstronaut

    Hello all,

    I am a 19 year old dude. I've never had intercourse, and I intend to keep my virginity until I get married. I've had a P and M addiction for roughly 5 years.

    I am making this post because a couple months ago it dawned on me (whilst M'ing) that I can't last more than 30 seconds (and probably less than that) while M'ing in such a way that "simulates" real intercourse. It seems that I've trained myself to climax way too quickly and after very little stimulation.

    My question is: can I fix my body so that it works properly (no PE) simply through doing a hard mode reboot? I've already started one and will do my best to beat my addiction and get P and M out of my life.

    But will that be enough? I am worried about what my performance will be like in the future. I've read about other men doing reboots and then recovering their libido and vitality after having intercourse a few times. I, however, don't have the ability to "test" or "practice" my performance.

    Will my reboot and continued abstinence from P and M solve this problem? Please share your thoughts. This has been on my mind for a while.

    Thanks.
    -P__phonic
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2016
  2. P__phonic

    P__phonic Fapstronaut

  3. Try not to worry about it. I read somewhere that a lot of women don't mind P.E. because it makes them think, "Wow, he must think I'm really hot" or whatever. In my fairly limited experience I've found this to be true. You can always try again a bit later if she's up for it.

    It's a much better problem than having trouble keeping it up anyway..
     
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  4. Zpeshnak

    Zpeshnak Guest

    As someone who suffers the same disease as you I can only tell you that I've found several web pages and post talking about two possible ways of overcome this problem, the first is edging or M'ing without P and without O and leave "it" like that, also Kegel excercises and coldshowers can help to survive all those feelings swelling up. I've also read testimonies of people doing a 1 year reboot to find themselves cured, don't really remember if that the exact time, it could be much less. Anyways we're in for a long ride my friend so stay strong!
     
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  5. Ser_G

    Ser_G Fapstronaut

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    Honestly man, don't sweat it right now. You can cross that bridge when you come to it (pun intended). I'm doing the same thing as you, and yes, I was very worried about my future performance. Until I thought "why am I worried about this when I don't even have a gf yet?" Just deal with overcoming your addiction right now. Don't worry about tomorrow. It'll look after itself. Today has enough to worry about hey?
     
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  6. P__phonic

    P__phonic Fapstronaut

    Thanks folks. I'll stop worrying about it.
     
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  7. Don Gately

    Don Gately Fapstronaut

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    Just my two cents: Being a few years older than you and in a similar situation (PMO addict but cleaning up, no experience with intercourse, planning to save the experience for a marriage that hasn't happened yet), I agree with the others that, to the extent possible, you shouldn't worry about it. If it becomes a problem, then it will be time to seek help.

    I have gotten the impression from reading people's stories here that there is a personality (not the only one, but it is one) that gets in to PMO addiction which tends to channel healthy energy into overanalyzing and worry. That's fine, and can even be useful in some fields, but may lead to preoccupation with sex that isn't helpful. Most healthy guys are physically capable of sex, and most recovered addicts really do seem to recover. So you'll probably be just fine, provided you are pretty healthy (mentally and physically) when you decide to have sex.

    I'm just guessing here. It's a hunch, but it seems to hold up.
     
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  8. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon Fapstronaut

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    Your problem is viewing sex the wrong way.

    From a reproductive standpoint, sex is about O, but from a relationship standpoint it's not, at least not primarily. PMO is alone, your only goal is to please yourself and finish. If you approach sex like that it won't be great for either of you. Good sex happens when you both are just focusing on enjoying each other. Not getting into too much detail, but the techniques are totally different too, the right way is just better.

    Most PMO brains handle sex as if it's a live fleshlight. You'll never enjoy sex the way it's supposed to be enjoyed as long as your brain is wired to PMO.

    Take it from my experience, fix the problem now. It most definitely will affect your future relationships. I don't mean that to say be hopeless, just that this is serious business and can mess you up in ways you don't even realize.
     
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  9. P__phonic

    P__phonic Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the post. By "fix the problem now", what do you mean? If you mean rebooting, I am doing that now. Other than that, how else could I "fix" the problem?

    Like the other posters recommended, I am not going to trouble myself too much over this. However, if there is something that should be done, then I will do it.
     
  10. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon Fapstronaut

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    You're on the right track. I'm just cautioning about a broader problem.
     
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  11. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    Just like Ancalagon says!

    I could O very quick by myself, or simulating the real deal using "other means" /devices/ home-made contraptions. My PMO mind cause me to be too quick also, because of the strong images and arousal, dopamine, etc.

    The real deal with a person you love will be different. Just keep in mind that PMO is like believing Science Fiction is real....
     
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  12. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    One thing that might have to be done, it to be conscious that you might have had the "DEATH GRIP" problem. The movement of your hand (speed), the pressure and effort that you might have put into the motion was more than the real deal. Also, cleaning your thoughts of that sci-fi porn stuff....it ruins our mind, getting us to believe sex is something that its not. Sex is sharing with a partner..
     
  13. daydream_nation

    daydream_nation Fapstronaut

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    Yeah deal with one thing at a time.

    Speaking from experience I remember being single for a few years before going to Uni and during this time I was using porn everyday. I did have issues with PE and performance with the first girl I slept with after all that time, but then I was fine after a couple of weeks. A REAL WOMAN is a lot more exciting but you'll get used to it, when the time comes don't stress it - first time sex is always a lot of fumbling around in the dark and not as amazing as you'd expect anyway. It's normal! ;)
     
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  14. Abominator

    Abominator Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes its not a problem. I have always been able to orgasm after few seconds, or max a minute of masturbation. But i also have been known(kinda lame, yea) for being able to last for hours in bed with a woman. The thing is, that i know myself and i can do it better. Other people cant stimulate me that good.
    Sex is not the same as it is with your hand. While having an agressive sex, you can get so exhausted you will lose erection, and orgasm will be too far away anyways :D

    tl;dr - unless you have experienced PE in real sex situation, you have no reason to believe you have it.
     
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