P is ruining my life

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by garcia203, Feb 11, 2014.

  1. garcia203

    garcia203 Fapstronaut

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    Had a relapse last night. I had such bad temptation and ended up breaking in. I don't know why it is so complicated just to get through one week. Two years ago, going withought P for a week was easy. Everytime I relapse, I just want to lock my self up in my room and sit in my shame. I feel no desire to talk to my girlfriend or friends, or even my parent's. Every day I constantly fear about ending up in a life that i had no intention to be in. I fear I am not going to be able to graduate if I dont get my grades up. My head is always in a depressed place, my girlfriend's sexual past ends up bothering me, I take everything for granted and do not appreciate life as much as I do when I resist p. I remember when I would get to the 7th day, everything would just be amazing. I'd feel unstoppable and I could flirt and have conversation's for hours. I felt my voice get deeper and deeper and just felt more whole, as a human being. I feel that there is so much more in life to enjoy. I would love and cherish my girlfriend like no other, I would love and enjoy going to work and busting my ass for that money. I just want all of that happiness back, for good. So if you can, please help me. Give me some pointers, some tips and tools on how to get through one week again and finally defeat this beast that has been taking over my life. the longest i'v gone without P in my life is two weeks. I appreciate you reading this, stay strong all of you non fappers!
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2014
  2. Devil-May-Fap

    Devil-May-Fap Fapstronaut

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    I have just managed to get back to my current best of 10 days of no PMO even though i have looked at p a couple of times. I understand how you must feel it left me feeling really shitty after i relapsed and i kind of got into a cycle of PMO'ing after for a couple of days but then i thought about the reasons i want to do this

    1. To have a better relationship and sex life with my girlfriend
    2. To have more time for the things i truely enjoy doing (or the things that need doing)
    3. To rid myself of guilt and anxiety that comes from having a dark secret

    I have had much troubles with this but i think its best you just try not to dwell on the fact that you relapsed dont worry just continue to completely avoid P as much as possible maybe install a web filter like K9 many people say it works wonders (i cant get it to install on my pc though)

    I like you felt great at first and now i'm just feeling a little bit lost maybe i'm flatlining and just dont realise lol.

    What are your interests? I suffer from depression and i find listening to music helps ease my mind.
    Hope some of this helps garcia, you can do this bro!
     
  3. Flx7

    Flx7 New Fapstronaut

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    You are going through withdrawal. Plain and simple. Your brain is telling you to feed it more chemicals P. You are white-knuckling through it right now. You need a plan to get your ass out of this mess and you can't trust your brain to help you.
    Have you dumped your stash? Emails? Links?
    Your life is going to be in a tailspin for the next while so you need to do some fire-drills to help you deal with situations where you would otherwise turn to P.
    You need to find your inner-strength to guide you. You are going to have to walk through a burning house in order to get through it. Everything will turn against you if you don't have faith in yourself. Breath... Take it one moment at a time. This too will pass. Stay strong bro...
     
  4. Devil-May-Fap

    Devil-May-Fap Fapstronaut

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    Also i meant to say that as the more days (even hours) that went by where i wasnt looking at P it was out of my mind much more and i wasnt replaying the things i had seen in my brain anymore. In my experiance so far viewing anything even pics that trigger you make your urges 10x worse but after a week or so urges seem much less although triggers are everywhere. Just focus on other things being active on here seems to help many nofappers.
     
  5. garcia203

    garcia203 Fapstronaut

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    Hey thanks a lot guys i really really appreciate it. Im never giving up.
     
  6. monke

    monke Fapstronaut

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    be patient with yourself
     

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