(P)MO once every 3 days & progress

I have a useful tip for urges, it works wonders for me. Male addicts view women as 'meat', especially the chest. Sure, it's normal to be attracted to them, but dehumanising them is not. Here's what you should do: Imagine a row of buckets in front of you and the girl you are thinking of sexually. Imagine taking her outerwear, and putting it into a bucket, then her innerwear, then rip off her skin, then her muscles, tendons, ligaments, bones, each one getting a bucket. Slowly you deconstruct her body. Do it to her fat, her organs; those round, juicy eyeballs, imagine all the blood, sweat, tears, urine and feces and put them into a bucket. You don't have to literally count the buckets, but try visualing the different parts. Focus on the buckets that disgust you more intently. Try looking at the breast fat now, with that red blood sureounding it, squishy, unfirm, or whatever else that's repulsive. I got this tip from a succesful fapstronaut. It rewires an over sexually-conditioned porn addict to respect women, as you visualise the horrific 'meat' girl. I'm not married, but according to that guy, he tried it on many women, till he did it on his wife. Since then, he's never wanted to see her wife as other than her ownself. Do this when you have bad thoughts, and on porn videos.

 

NoFap is a life-long journey. You'll always have urges, albeit not as strong once you quit. Really, don't beat yourself up for not reaching too far, it makes matters worse.

 

It sounds like your in the early stages of abstaining from porn. Any amount of days is better than no days. The goal is to abstain forever though dont ever forget that. Your goal isnt to go a week or a month. It's to stay away permanently. I have about a year of no porn, which is awesome. It took me a long while to get here tho. So many relapses of looking at porn. The urges were unreal. But the more you stay away and the longer you stay away the better it becomes. Boredom is literally your worst enemy. Always keep yourself occupied. Seriously, keep yourself occupied as much as possible. Staying away from triggers is also a big deal. Like if you know a movie has a really steamy nude part, maybe you should throw the movie out. Get rid of it.

P.S. to be very honest. I have not had any real urges to look at porn and it is not my own doing. It was totally Jesus. Jesus took away the whole thing from me. Just one day in the midst of my recovery, poof addiction gone. Pray to Jesus to help you with your porn addiction, He totally will. God actually hates pornography, and you will totally be thrown into the lake of fire for it. I also will be thrown into the lake of fire for it if i return to it. I'm a saved Christian and God will destroy me if I return to porn. You should get rid of it at all costs.

 

See, I'm a teenager, hence I'm single. Accroding to the inventor of that visualisation, he said it made him appreciate his wife more, and is meant to be used upon urges. Like, I don't look at every woman I see and go 'decompile' mode, it's more of an active thought on the selected individual to combat my screwed views on her. If I'm not sexualizing her in my head, I don't see the need to 'decompile' her. This is at least in my experience, but if you feel otherwise, you don't have to do it.

 

If you're failing to quit pmo your reason for doing so is not strong enough.

 

@ OP

Having been sort of on and off with the no masturbation, no porn stuff for about 18-24 months, here's what I've found....first of all, everybody's different. You need to experiment and see what works for you.

For me, I saw a gigantic difference when I would stop looking at porn altogether and trying to avoid fantasizing for about 2 weeks - somewhere in the 12-15 day range. I would still masturbate about once every ~3 or so days, but I would only masturbate to my thoughts and not to porn - I'd think about a girl I knew at work or something, and just imagine making out with her, having sex with her etc. until I would cum. By just not exposing myself to porn or allowing myself to spend much time thinking about naked women or other fantasies, that helped a lot.

Now, like you've noticed, you are going to get horny. And it's going to be difficult to avoid. I personally am not a fan of permanent nofap or really longterm nofap. From my personal experience, the longest you should go without orgasming is about 5 days. Beyond that you may fall into a flatline (I did), and you may fall into a flatline no matter what if you've been building up an addiction for a long time. If this happens, masturbate, but again, not to porn, but to thoughts that would be very normal fitting your sexual orientation. The reason is when I flatlined in the past, the only way I could really come out of it would be to masturbate (not to porn) but then you also have to watch for the chaser effect and not give in to it. I think it's very healthy to masturbate a couple times a week. It keeps your libido healthy and functional. Just try not to watch porn and try not to fantasize. If you do those (2) things, within about 2-4 weeks, chances are you're going to feel a LOT better.

For me, what I noticed was the biggest change is after about 2 weeks of following what I described above, I noticed that when I would get to around 3-4 days of not having an orgasm, all women started looking more and more attractive to me (lol). Women who are just attractive on an average level started looking like supermodels to me at work. And that's good. At first you might really find it a bit bothersome at how horny you are, but I've found the best way to look at it is to actually enjoy that natural male horniness - you see a girl walk by and maybe you like her shape, or her smile, or something and it's just a nice healthy feeling to feel a little movement in your pants as that girl walks by and learn to appreciate it versus feeling like you immediately have to squash it by going and watching porn and masturbating - when a pretty girl walks by at work and I get that feeling I just sort of smirk and think to myself "wow, that's a beautiful woman" and just appreciate her for being there to perk up my day.

 

That is a very balanced view, and captures a lot about how we need to be, don't use porn as a prop, nothing actually ' wrong' with masturbation, except when it becomes addictive and obsessive. But finding that balance breaking out of addiction is very hard. I am encouraged to read a post that puts moderate, normal PMO into perspective. So often bBC it is about facing other deeper issues too.