I have a very embarrassing and fucked up paraphilia. It got worse during my early 20s, and now I can't get aroused unless I think about it. Now at 10 days I think it's withering, but I don't want to confirm because I'm scared of a relapse. So to paraphiles, did there come a time when it disappeared, or at least lessened in intensity? Examples of paraphilias: voyeurism, sissy/shemale, pedophilia, necrophilia, urolagnia, etc. That is, really fucked up shit, in most cases.
So far so good. The further away from it I get, the more absurd it seems. I have found it very beneficial to steer well clear of any visual cues. Strangely, I find it easier not to M than to avoid images and videos. It is so easy to go to a vanilla P site but I know that will inevitably lead me to my demise; so being mindful of where the tapping of my fingers takes me is important. The good new is that the further along this happy journey you are then the easier it gets. Although I am thinking lately that complacency might be the next trap.
Same, but we must try to not fantasize either. Too much fantasy can lead to relapse, and it can begin with a single indulgence in the imagination.
I like when chubby girls wear stockings, that counts? And if so, then no, but now that I think about it, I've never seen a chubby girl wear stockings in my life.
I don't know if a deal with a paraphilla per se, but I am having problem with a disturbing fetish and at times I'm desentisized to it but I still tend to look at pictures compulsively and ruin my streaks. Does anyone else experiences this, any advice??
Spoilers... Oh the predictive text on my phone just autocorrected several words related to my paraphilia, leaving me with a firm erection that wants M Was not expecting that problem
Ok have reset my keyboard dictionary this may prevent the problem. I have spent too much time chatting and sexting I don’t want to do that anymore. Clearly the idea of it gets me aggravated! I have to face up to to the fact it’s not just the porn but the paraphilia related chats that cause problems/triggers/urges/fantasies. I think I can cope with my current urge to M but now see future dangers
I've spent a lot of time on nofap forums and i've seen a lot of people reporting they lot their desire for various paraphilias. In my own experience, even though i didnt have paraphilias per se, my out of the ordinary desires lessened. Id say watching porn is a paraphila fundamentally because it is voyeuristic disorder.
Update: Something in me has changed dramatically. I tried to act more masculine and my paraphilia has completely disappeared. This brings to mind a Swedish user on these forums who said that he had taken a liking to black men, but he swore he was otherwise straight. What if the destruction of one's masculine identity leads to sexual perversion? Feminism is very strong in Sweden. Nothing wrong with feminism in principle, but maybe it has unintended disastrous consequences. Looking back, I've actually never had a masculine identity. I acted feminine, even though I was straight, and I was vastly different to my best friend, who is very masculine. Agree completely I have a completely different mindset now. You can be either a woman or a man, and I am a man, and so are you. Men are protectors of the weak, and are responsible for their own success. Value strength, integrity, and honor above everything else. You are a man!
Also this guy: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/my-weird-shameful-fetish-i-feel-like-crap.231116/ This man's masculine identity has also been destroyed.
I've had periods where I was disgusted by my fetishes during good streaks, would even cringe at the through of them. But whenever I relapse, I go from starting with vanilla stuff to ending up enjoying the fetish again. As the YBOP Gary Wilson video conveys, fetishes might never go away, but spend enough time away from them and they can become dormant and your can enjoy vanilla stuff again.
I picked up loads of weird paraphilias or 'kinks' from porn, some quite disturbing. Luckily I have got rid of most of them after stopping porn for a few months. Porn was controlling what I was turned on by - I kept clicking more and more videos which were more and more 'wrong' just because I was bored and needed a kick. In 99% of cases, People don't have these innate kinks, but they might believe they do because they were turned on by them from porn. It took me ages to recover but I still need to be vigilant. Porn can be so dangerous - I felt like shit 24/7.
This is my goal. I don't expect my fetish/paraphilia to go away, but I do want to be able to resist indulging it and to be able to take simple sexual pleasure just from being intimate with a woman and without anything else involved.
