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Partner of porn addict who won’t admit it

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Louielou, Feb 4, 2020.

  1. Feb 4, 2020 #1
    Louielou

    Louielou Fapstronaut

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    Hi I’m losing my mind, my heart is in 1000 pieces and I still feel like this isn’t happening to me.
    My husband has been watching porn most of our 24 years married but I only caught him 2 years ago. Since then it has been an endless parade of lies, deceit and being sneaky. He has never confessed even though I’ve had evidence, he told me he had only done it for a couple of years and only a few times, he is 49. I have found so much on his phone and his behaviour has got worse , his lying is getting worse.
    He had covenant eyes on his phone and somehow got around it. I confronted him with the evidence and he denied it, packed his bags and has left me and the kids. I’m so broken, so alone, so list and numb
    I need support and to know I’m not going crazy.
     
    Louielou, Feb 4, 2020
    Louielou, Feb 4, 2020
    #1
    don'tlookbackinanger and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Feb 4, 2020 #2
    lfromcr

    lfromcr Fapstronaut

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    Oh, @Louielou, I am so sorry this has happened. My husband and I work with couples going through this, and I've seen this pattern enough to know your husband will probably be back! Most men come CRAWLING back. At that point, you need to be ready with strong boundaries. (I wish I had more time to explain what I mean, butI am sure there are other threads out here about boundaries.)

    The title of your entry caught my attention. The first thing my husband asks the guys who come to him is: 1) Do you think you have a problem? 2) Do you want to get better?

    Those are questions you could ask him when he comes back, but note: he will probably agree, but then later try to minimize how much of a problem he has. It's what we've seen anyway.

    I'm not out here hardly at all anymore, so if you have any questions, feel free to send me a private/direct message. I'll get a notification in my email then : )

    Other than that, I wish you the best. It's one thing to go through this with a guy who plays around with recovery. It's completely another thing when he abandons you over it!!! (My heart goes out to you!)
     
    lfromcr, Feb 4, 2020
    lfromcr, Feb 4, 2020
    #2
    don'tlookbackinanger, anewhope and engelman like this.

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