I'm a SO and I've written before but I am at my wits end with my partners behavior and wonder if any SAs or addicts can offer advice. My partner is more than 90 days P free and he alleges MO free. He still can't O from intercourse but has had improvements. He can O from my hand and mouth and could not before. The issue is I can't bring up the subject at all without him getting angry with me and gaslighting. From the beginning he felt like he said he was sorry and would not do it again and that should be enough. He wanted me to be over it in two weeks and never bring it up again. He could not understand why I just would not take his word for it even though he lied to me from so long. This type of attitude actually prolonged my progress because I did not feel like he was sorry or felt bad and I could never express how I felt. So the emotions just kept being prolonged. I think he felt that by behaving in that manner he would thwart any discussions. But now since he still can't perform in bed and I'm not happy with that I've started bringing up the topic again. Not in an angry or accusatory way but very calmly. I asked if he continued to MO and if that was holding up our progress. He immediately got angry said that he was tired of not being believed and that I needed to get over this. I told him that I had every right to ask the question and he had no right to be angry. He compared me asking him to this creepy thing he does to me. When we come in from being out he tells me to wash my hands. He wants me to change my clothes before I sit on furniture and has told me to brush my teeth and shower. I told him I'm an adult who does not need to be told to do these things. In case it matters I do them on my own and am a clean person. He said me demanding that he conform no MO was the same that he was an adult and I had no right to ask. I pointed out that yet again he was trying to gaslight and be defensive. He got angry and it caused a huge fight. I need to talk about this issue with him and I need him to listen and change but he won't and I don't know what to do. To me my behavior is perfectly understandable and his is not but am I missing something? Is this my fault? Do I just need to move on? Do I need to accept that he will never perform in bed or move on? Thanks.