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So I recently found out that my partner has been watching sissy Hypno for a long time (+10 years) and I don't know how to take it... Everything I've been reading says it can be really damaging, if anyone knows anything more about this/has any advice, I'd be really appreciative!
Warning don't read the below if you are sensitive to wordings surrounding sex and fetishes... I am being open and seeking advice because I feel a little out of my depth.
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Background - when we met the sex was amazing, he is a dominant and a sadist, something that was completely new to me.
Over time (we have been together 2 years now) he revealed more and more obscure fetishes, it never bothered me or caused any issues, I'm a very open person myself, then we started mixing porn into it, over time he found it harder and harder to climax during intercourse without watching porn (he says it's the extra visual stimulus), I tried to express that it was starting to effect my self esteem and our sex life in general but things never improved, after 2 years he revealed to me out of the blue that he likes to dress up, be a sissy and has gender identity issues, this was a little bit of a shock because he has said some transphobic comments in the past, is very masculine, covered in tattoos, brags about masculinity, is extremely dominant and into bdsm.
I knew he was pansexual and I have other trans/sissy/cross dressing friends so I processed the trans news and said I was happy to explore his fantasies with him, then i recently found out he has been dressing up and watching sissy Hypno, femdom and feminisation porn at 23-5am every couple of weeks, and that he has been doing this for a on and off in his life since he was 18 and has started doing it more and more in the last 6 months. Baring in mind he watches ALL other porn in between this time. It's mainly the Hypno stuff I'm worried about and the amount he watches. I can't help but worry he is in some ways decencitized from watching so much porn in his life (particularly some of the more extreme fetishes) and that's why in our relationship sexually he had to progress through more and more obscure/extreme fetishes, and now ultimately because we have been through them all he has gone back to the sissy Hypno stuff and we have struggled in our own sex life..(don't get me wrong we still have great sex on the occasion but nothing like before). I also worry if the long term use/shame of it all could be affecting his mental health on a deeper level and I really want to help him. He can be short tempered and can get overly aggressive, is aspergic, has adhd, c-ptsd, anxiety and depression. I do not know the implications of this kind of porn and mental health.
We talked about his transgender/sissy thing and it's clear he has some issues surrounding severe shame, he's admitted to this, we talked about the Hypno porn and he said he wouldn't watch it anymore but ultimately I'm worried if the damage is done, if it even is actually damaging? He out right refuses to accept it could be in anyway or that he could be decencitized/addicted to porn (although he did admit being addicted to orgasms), I feel really lost, confused and not sure how to take it all... Ultimately I love him and want to help him if there is an underlying issue.
Warning don't read the below if you are sensitive to wordings surrounding sex and fetishes... I am being open and seeking advice because I feel a little out of my depth.
.
.
.
Background - when we met the sex was amazing, he is a dominant and a sadist, something that was completely new to me.
Over time (we have been together 2 years now) he revealed more and more obscure fetishes, it never bothered me or caused any issues, I'm a very open person myself, then we started mixing porn into it, over time he found it harder and harder to climax during intercourse without watching porn (he says it's the extra visual stimulus), I tried to express that it was starting to effect my self esteem and our sex life in general but things never improved, after 2 years he revealed to me out of the blue that he likes to dress up, be a sissy and has gender identity issues, this was a little bit of a shock because he has said some transphobic comments in the past, is very masculine, covered in tattoos, brags about masculinity, is extremely dominant and into bdsm.
I knew he was pansexual and I have other trans/sissy/cross dressing friends so I processed the trans news and said I was happy to explore his fantasies with him, then i recently found out he has been dressing up and watching sissy Hypno, femdom and feminisation porn at 23-5am every couple of weeks, and that he has been doing this for a on and off in his life since he was 18 and has started doing it more and more in the last 6 months. Baring in mind he watches ALL other porn in between this time. It's mainly the Hypno stuff I'm worried about and the amount he watches. I can't help but worry he is in some ways decencitized from watching so much porn in his life (particularly some of the more extreme fetishes) and that's why in our relationship sexually he had to progress through more and more obscure/extreme fetishes, and now ultimately because we have been through them all he has gone back to the sissy Hypno stuff and we have struggled in our own sex life..(don't get me wrong we still have great sex on the occasion but nothing like before). I also worry if the long term use/shame of it all could be affecting his mental health on a deeper level and I really want to help him. He can be short tempered and can get overly aggressive, is aspergic, has adhd, c-ptsd, anxiety and depression. I do not know the implications of this kind of porn and mental health.
We talked about his transgender/sissy thing and it's clear he has some issues surrounding severe shame, he's admitted to this, we talked about the Hypno porn and he said he wouldn't watch it anymore but ultimately I'm worried if the damage is done, if it even is actually damaging? He out right refuses to accept it could be in anyway or that he could be decencitized/addicted to porn (although he did admit being addicted to orgasms), I feel really lost, confused and not sure how to take it all... Ultimately I love him and want to help him if there is an underlying issue.
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