Partner watches sissy Hypno porn, Advice Needed

[Wave tamer]

Thanks for your comment, yes he was sexually assaulted when he was 16 by a male, I know this possibly has some implications but I am not a psychologist and do not understand this? As for me no but I grew up surrounded by extreme domestic abuse and violence.

You say to set up boundaries because openness hasn't worked, what kind of boundaries... I mean he has already stated he won't watch the Hypno porn again (which I don't know if I can trust because I don't know the extent of his issues) but there is no way he would agree to abstaining from masturbating for a period of time just to see..

To be honest I feel helpless, what made you realise you had a problem?

I escalated into that crap and it’s toxic as hell. I think also having learning difficulties and feeling there was something wrong with me played into it too. Adhd and other disorders you have hypersexuality and I would be dominant and really intense in bed to get a rush, validation and that opioid orgasm which obviously helps with anxiety. We know how you like it because sometimes we switch into the subside. I liked things on the risky side, another adhd trait. So would push into that dark world and play with fire. Also we ruminate a lot and our heads can get extra busy. We’ll want an escape and break from our mind and don’t know how to self regulate or soothe properly. Some will choose booze, drugs others sex. We don’t always feel like running the show and being incharge in the bedroom and supplying partners/lovers with orgasm can become tiring and not really a break more like a show. Sometimes we want to let go and hand over the reins. And this usually comes at times for me when I’m cross with myself, warn out, angry, overwhelmed. Over time like drugs it’s escalated so we go for the big hitting rush which validates our frustration towards ourselves and also provides a hit. But leaving us lower each time. Those vids are psychotic and twisted. He needs to get therapy hun.

 

[Wave tamer]

I’m glad he’s agreed to quit porn and with your support will make it a lot easier. But you need to set boundaries. He needs adult locks on your devices so he can’t slip at a weak moment. That stuff perpetuates with the shame it causes so lots of stuff to build him back up. Sometimes the curse addiction can become the gift to find our true self that was lost years ago more than likely when he was abused. He needs to have compassion for that hurt child and face the pain that he and addicts like myself are running from, And he’s very lucky to have you. It can be beaten. Hypnotherapy, CBT, gratitude lists, meditation, planning, healthy self soothes, hobbies, connection, accountability, micro dosing. Positive affirmations in the mirror daily is the opposite of this porn garbage and really works