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Past Sexual Partners?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by MrUndo, Mar 11, 2019.

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  1. MrUndo

    MrUndo Fapstronaut

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    Hello to all,

    I’m new so I apologize if I use any wording that is not allowed. I wanted to know if anyone in here has struggled with forgetting past partners sexually? Basically I have had partners that I have trouble getting out of my brain. I used to think about them sexually and M. It wasn’t until I got in a real relationship that I realize that that’s sick and I shouldn’t do that. I am very embarrassed for what I am about to say so please do not judge me. I used to M to pictures of them which weren’t sexual in the least bit. I remember why I started fapping so much in the first place. It was because when I was satisfied that way, I wasn’t thinking about the person. Whenever I would try not to fap then I would get so h*rny and then want to do things that I really shouldn’t do. What I think it is is that my body wants pleasure and I know I can’t get it from those people so I think of them. And to not be unfaithful, I would fap to them instead of go and cheat on my significant other.

    Has anyone gone through something similar that they want to share with me? Have you managed to reboot and let go of people in your mind? It’s embarrassing and I am sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable....
     
  2. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    It doesn't have to be embarrassing here, we're all here for the same reason.
    Which way to you want to be oriented? Toward your partner, or toward these other people (these pictures)? Where are you investing yourself? Because from what you say, you are taking energy, attention, love, and sexual desire from your partner, and giving it to pictures and memories.
     
    dukesoup and MrUndo like this.
  3. MrUndo

    MrUndo Fapstronaut

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    I completely agree. Well yes of course I want to put that energy towards my partner. I didn’t think about it that way before. It totally makes sense that it’s so much more deeper than just a sexual feeling
     
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  4. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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  5. happy camper

    happy camper Fapstronaut

    For the longest time I would fap to sexual and non-sexual pics of my exes and replay intimate moments that I had with them or that I wished I had. Definitely not proud of it. I deleted the pics and unfollowed them on social media to avoid future triggers.

    Strange thing about the mind is that when you tell it that it can't have/do something, it wants it more. (Don't think about a pink elephant right now! Don't think about a flying pink elephant right now! What image came to your mind?)

    I agree with The Wrestler that rather than wasting time and energy in memories and fantasies, try focusing on who you are with at the time. Appreciating the people who love us and reminding ourselves of why we love them can be far more fulfilling.
     
    dukesoup likes this.
  6. dukesoup

    dukesoup Fapstronaut

    I have a problem with sexting random girls on the internet/dating/social media apps. 8 years i used to keep a folder in my laptop of a bunch of pictures of girls i liked (downloaded from social media) and fapped to them regularly. i ruined two relationships with my fapping so now i am here.
    if you want to have a relationship with a human you have to choose to put your energy into that human. putting it anywhere else will catch up to you no matter what.
     
  7. zeekland

    zeekland Fapstronaut

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    You're not the first guy to rub one out to an ex....most of us have been there and you will never really forget them either. I would say stop doing it though if you're in a relationship though, clearly you should be making new material to think about with her, not living in the past.
     

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