PE... just a waiting game? Tips or tricks?

Actually talked to my wife about this last night *briefly. She had her therapy and one thing she mentioned is this is the longest I've gone without PM since I was probably 12 or 13. She asked if I was itching to M again. I said no, but that PE was a motivation. She pretty much said she didn't care very much and she's satisfied, so I should be good too. I tried to explain it's not quite like that, but it ended in a stalemate instead of me pushing farther.

Some articles on porn and this topic:

https://fightthenewdrug.org/porn-causing-males-panic-about-penis-size/
https://indianexpress.com/article/l...iction-hampers-male-sexual-performance-study/

 

That has definitely been my experience. If I'm thinking "Oh God, please don't cum, please don't cum", that's when it happens.

My partner has never said anything about it and, personally, I think there are times when 1 - 2 minutes is fine with both of us. But . . . there was one time early in our relationship when I had PE

Spoiler: Trigger Warning

as soon as penetration occurred

and by the next time we made love she had some de-sensitising lubricant. Seeing that made me PE again! Because I was thinking about it.

PE was challenging after that, but it has gotten better. I try not to think about it when we are making love. But I also struggle with feeling present - I have to not think about how good it feels so I almost force myself to think of other things. It's a really tricky balancing act actually - I can think myself out of PE but it can backfire if I think myself out of arousal.

 

the only honest answer is.... it might.

Think of it this way.

Best case - it solves itself over time and it becomes something you both laugh about to each other and therapists down the road.

Worst case - it doesn't get better on its own and either he learns to accept it, seeks out medical (mental or physical) treatment, or the two of you learn about the non intercourse joys of sex such as things that could be triggering so I won't list them.

The worse case scenario is really not that bad. There are lots of ways to have sex before PIV, after PIV and instead of PIV. Ways you enjoy and he enjoyss