People Are Tough!

I know exactly what you mean about the loneliness being a trigger. I will sometimes get waves of loneliness like that. I think a key to riding through it is to distrust your feelings: maybe this loneliness is just a random feeling that has no meaning. It will pass like it always has. If it doesn't pass, then you can get to work, figure out what's wrong, and beat it. You've done it in the past. I guess the thing that gets me is not so much loneliness as helplessness: the feeling that I can't do anything about it. The more confident that I am in my ability to control my life, the less I need to escape. Cheers!

 

Feeling are chemicals in the body. Sometimes they are turned on for no apparent reason. Like when you taste, smell or feel something (usually a pain) without stimulus. I have felt scared many times for no reason. Like I've done something bad when I haven't or something bad is about to happen and it doesn't. Uncontrolled emotions cause depression and other anxieties when extreme. What we go through is mild and controllable when we examine it an see it for what it is.

 

Good Morning All,
The thing I try to remember, which admittedly is very difficult at times, is that those feelings are ephemeral or impermanent. It seems as though the lonliness lasts longer than the happiness because it always works that way. You always see the negative as being more pronounced. But they all come and go. Fapping is as efficient for making you feel better as having drank a six pack. Once the feeling wears off, you still feel however you felt prior to it, and many times its worse because you gave in. You can develop the ability to see it and your response can just be to observe it as opposed to react to it. Its very hard and it takes a concerted effort to consistently remain mindful of your thoughts but it is possible. I am in a position now with PMO that is very similar to where I was when I stopped drinking. Its not a thing I will do anymore. I stopped once and that was it, nearly a decade on now. It is the same with this. I have stepped back far enough and have come to really dislike the consequences of PMO, and feel as if I have finally made the break. Important though is my ability to respond to my feelings and not to react. I have bigger issues to tackle, this was a big one for me and the strength I am gathering from this battle will be necessary for the next.
The one thing that I also try to keep in mind is the effort that is needed to use PMO as a salve for whatever I'm feeling. Think about it:
I suddenly feel: (insert relevant misery here)
Go to my computer
Find some porn
Spend time watching and whatever else
Clean up a mess
Compose myself
Offset shame and indignity
Suddenly feel insert relevant misery here)
Its a ludicrous proposition. You could instead recognize what your feeling and observe that it will most assuredly go away in a moment or two. Go for a walk, call a friend, get a coffee, have a cookie.
I understand also that there are some really hurt people here and this is much easier said than done. But its not as if I haven't gone through it myself to some extent.
My heart and my good will go out to all of you here. I am only sharing what I know. I hope that it may help someone.