Performance anxiety, ED and quitting Porn

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by 27yo, Sep 19, 2020.

  1. 27yo

    27yo New Fapstronaut

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    Hi

    Here's my situation: I've been watching porn ever since I was 13 or so. Never had problems until my last 2 hook ups. I couldn't get an erection anymore. I had to think of extreme porn to get it somewhat hard. So I've gathered that I have 3 problems:

    - Performance anxiety
    - Porn/fetish addiction
    - No physical sensitivity

    So I've held off on hook-ups and stopped watching porn for a couple of weeks to deal with the second issue. I did however relapse 3 times already but I feel like I'm getting more and more disciplined as I go on.
    However, now I read on some forum that I should either abstain altogether from masturbation or only masturbate without mental stimulation or only try to think of normal interactions. I don't have a girlfriend so actual sex is out of the question. So I'm stuck with either quitting masturbation (but I have a high libido; I feel like orgasming twice per day) or I need to masturbate without imagination. These tasks both seem impossible so I do masturbate and I do think of girls. I do notice that blocking mental imagery as much as I can helps with getting aroused from normal situations although my mind does seem to wander off to porn again. I do my best to filter those thoughts out and think of a single girl at a time.

    My goals are the following:

    - Being able to get a spontanous erection again as I'm about to engage in sex. I will visit prostitutes for this every few weeks to check my progress.
    - Being able to get equally aroused and as erect from normal situations as I would from watching porn.
    - Being able to get turned on solely by physical stimulation.

    So I wonder: what are your thoughts on this? Should I quit masturbating altogether for 90 days (seems very extreme to me)? Is there an acceptable middle ground such as abstaining for as long as possible (this would be 2-4 days for me)? If so, am I allowed mental imagery as I masturbate or should I solely focus on the physical sensation? I'm sure there are people here with similar experiences and experience in recovery.

    I appreciate you for taking the time and sharing your opinions, insights and experiences.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2020
  2. alphakadabro

    alphakadabro Fapstronaut

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    No mental imagery and no MO for the fastest progress. You will also learn alot about yourself and see how "need to MO twice a day" isn't so simple as you think it is. It is also a coping mechanism for stress/emotion/etc.
     

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