Phantom horniness

[TheFappingFox]

I'm not sure how else to describe this. After being addicted to PMO for many years , I find myself entering this odd mental state where my body is completely relaxed, I'm not looking at or thinking about anything erotic and I don't have any urges to PMO.

My subconscious is really confused about it though. Like, my mind is expecting the rest of me to be horny over something as that was my default state for a long time, except I'm not. This brings on a really weird sensation I can only describe as phantom horniness, as strange as it sounds. It's pretty disconcerting and dissociating when it kicks off.

Anyone else experience this?

 

[TheFappingFox]

Could you elaborate a little more on what exactly you feel? Like are you feeling very aroused in your body? And when you say dissociated what exactly do you mean by that? I just want to understand more about what you're actually experiencing.

My body is not aroused, I'm not thinking about anything arousing, however there's a sensation in my mind that is telling me that I should be. Imagine your subconscious being confused why you aren't aroused when part of your mind thinks you should be. It's almost like a misfire in my brain that produces a phantom sensation of arousal that's soley in my mind, but is disconnected from the reality of what's going on in my body and conscious thought. I'm not horny in any way, shape or form, but part of my mind is sure that I should be and can't work out why I'm not. I know, it's a real wtf moment when it happens.

 

[TheFappingFox]

Okay so it's like a thought telling you that you should be horny? Like you have a thought that's on loop just being like, "you're horny right now."

Not a conscious thought, more like subconscious instinct that's telling me that I am/should be horny and then I get a moment of disconnect/disassociation because I'm not aroused or horny at all. It's not easy to explain at all, I know. >.<

 

[TheFappingFox]

Haha yeah that's the human mind for you. It could just be a transient thought or feeling that was always there but that you're only now becoming conscious to. Like for example, when you were really deep in the addiction that thought would come up just before you decided to watch porn and so that's exactly what you did without reflecting on it. Now though, that thought will come up and rather than just moving straight to watching porn you are actually becoming conscious of it and think, "hey wait a minute, I'm not horny though..."

This is what happens with recovery. We become slowly more and more conscious of the little parts of our mind that were influencing us and directing us toward watching porn. The truth is that you have thousands of those exact same little thoughts and impulses occurring every single day, every day. If you watch TV, then you have those thoughts about TV. If you stopped watching TV, you'd start becoming conscious of just how often you think about watching TV.

Honestly, I don't think it's much to worry about. Just notice it, laugh a little, and move on with your day. Eventually it'll stop. If it gets worse it's likely because you're making it worse by interpreting it as a problem. That's what happens with HOCD. People have thoughts about being gay, the thoughts make them afraid, and then the fear makes it worse. It becomes a vicious cycle.

That actually makes sense. I'll chalk it up to my mind being it's usual weird self, then. ;3