Picking up girls

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by LongWayHome, Nov 27, 2014.

  1. LongWayHome

    LongWayHome Fapstronaut

    Hey guys.

    I have problem with "picking up" girls on the street. You see, I'm not shy anymore (thanks to nofap) and I don't have problems with prolongation of the talk. More - I'm very talkative now, yet I have problem with girls - I can't do the first part - hitting to a girl.

    I know it sounds stupid.
    I'm 2 years in NoFap. The longest streak is 50 days. Now streaks are 30 days long, so I'm trying to make it longer with other strategy. Yet, I want to learn how to talk freely to girls on the street... tfu. How to start a talk.

    I was trying to do something today, but when I was engaging, my heart was beating like crazy and in the end I didn't even start... I felt paralyze.

    From the start of NoFap my life is better. It's like a miracle - I'm workingout, my skin is clearer, I'm very positive person, people are smiling at me and girls are chekin' me :)D), but this little problem I have is very annoying for me.

    I don't know how to repair it. If you have some tips, you're welcomed.

    I will try again tommorow. I must fight this relict of fapping.
  2. TeddyBear

    TeddyBear Guest

    There's no advice to give you to make you better with girls and that's not really what this site is for. The only thing I can tell you is to keep practicing by talking to girls. Even something as simple as saying 'hello' to random girls you see every day or actually engaging in conversation. There's no right way, but there are certainly wrong ways ... like being extraordinarily weird or rude. Girls like confidence ... not the douchey, self-absorbed, narcissistic confidence, just confidence. Confidence isn't the absence of fear, though ... just keep that in mind. It's acting in the face of fear ... going against everything pulling you in the opposite direction and doing it anyway. The more you talk to women, the better you will get at talking to women. Practice makes perfect ... and it applies to social situations as much as anything else. Go to parties, hit up people at bars, strike up a conversation with a girl at a bookstore. It really doesn't matter as long as you're practicing getting out of your shell. Women are a lot less scary than you think. The fear of failure is what cripples most guys from talking to women. You may fail, you may not. If you fail 9 times out of 10 than try 10 times harder. You're not considered a failure until you give up.

    I don't really have any books to recommend to you because most of them ... if you follow them to a T ... will make you appear to be a fake douche bag. The general principle behind all of these pick up books is confidence and practicing talking to strangers. So get out there and start talking to people and get out of your shell. You'd be amazed at what this will due to your social skills.
    u376 likes this.
  3. KrmGrn

    KrmGrn Fapstronaut

    I've never been able to talk to girls on the street. What I found is it's best to meet girls when in a social environment (party or something) or when doing something with common interests (taking an improv class or something like that). In my experience, women on the street are busy doing something, going somewhere, they don't want to be bothered by guys. I might be wrong, but it might be good to pick up some hobbies where socializing is built in.
    u376 likes this.
  4. master90days

    master90days Fapstronaut

    Youtube PUA daygame and read the game. Enjoy
  5. Rewired

    Rewired Fapstronaut

    Girl here. You're not wrong, this is a great suggestion.

    I've only let two guys chat me up on the street, purely because I was lonely and desperate. One I rejected after he tried to hold my hand while we walked; and the other, I liked, and made his life difficult for a few months by trying to make him my boyfriend when he didn't want to be.
    If that's what you want, go with master90days' suggestion.

    Maybe I'm being negative, (and apologies if this offends) but when I read 'picking up girls', i think it's not the girl you're interested in; it's sexual opportunity. So if in your brain 'girls' = 'sex', of course you're going to be terrible at making conversation. It's like you don't even see her as a (flawed, complex) human - she's simply a gatekeeper. If she's a gatekeeper, you've put her in a position of power or made her an obstacle to be overcome. And if you want sex really bad you put too much pressure on yourself to say and do the 'right' thing...

    ...girl senses your desperation, possibly feels like a piece of meat.
    I'd either reject you, or take advantage and mess your life up (see aforementioned example).

    Best results for me happen when I can feel safe; like seeing the guy in a few different settings with other people around - no pressure, no agenda. Especially if there's mutual friends and I can ask about his reputation.

    Get a hobby that you like and that girls do. Dance classes. Yoga. Pilates. Spanish classes. Mixed netball. Tennis. Book club. Art classes. Cooking classes. Impro theatre. Get good at it and your confidence will shine through. Guaranteed attractiveness.
  6. beermagnate

    beermagnate Fapstronaut

    First you have to start liking people in general, than you won't come across as having agenda and just look like you having fun. Then you can start approaching the way there is no pressure, e.g. asking directions.
  7. TotalLifeChange

    TotalLifeChange Fapstronaut

    The Game sucks, because it is just a novel and anyone who understands a little about pickup can see how it's not useful at all. Its only goal is to create a perception about how great the characters are supposed to be.

    If you want a really good daygame book, read Day Bang by Roosh V which covers specifics.

    Picking up girls during the day is awesome, for me is way more exciting than during the night.

    Plus the good part for you is, since daygame approach is not about approaching the girl with a sexually interested opening, but to indirectly get to know her, you don't have a excuse not to start talking.

    I'll tell you the basic approach.

    First, you DO NOT openly hit on them. Your first big goal is just to set a date, or at least get her number to then set a date.

    But your first, first goal is to ramble until she is interested enough to ask you any personal question.

    So you don't focus on hitting on her nor being sexually open.

    You just talk. You have to learn how to ramble nonstop. Let her talk, obviously, but if she's idle you have to talk like crazy. Obviously if you're talking for 5 minutes and she clearly wants you to go away, do so.

    But most of the time, you'll drop little bits in your rambling that spark her interest. E.g. "... I hate this place because since the time I was invited with my ex girlfriend Kim Kardashian to accept the Nobel Prize I don't want to..." Haha obviously I'm exaggerating, but you'll drop interesting things about your life here and there that will spark her interest.

    You're not allowed to ask personal questions (what's your name, where do you study, what's your job) because even though they seem innocent they convey you're interested. At that point, that's incoherent with you talking there casually without knowing her! Of course, she kinda imagines you're interested if she's hot, but there's always a little mystery that's better to be unresolved.

    So you just talk, until she asks you one first, because then it's justified to start discussing something slightly personal.

    Then, once she asks you a personal question, you know she's hooked. Talk for a few minutes more, then ask for her number, or if the conversation brought up a place you two like, casually suggest going there (for which you'll need her number anyways).

    I know it's a lot of info and maybe it isn't detailed enought. Everything on this process has a justification but it would take a huge post here (get the book).

    So the basics are:
    1. Talk nonstop a seemingly boring conversation dropping interesting bits about yourself casually.
    2. Once she asks you a personal question, you're allowed to do the same. You also know she's hooked at that point.
    3. Keep talking for a bit, then ask for number/date.

    Be confident because if chicks are already checking you, you're gonna be a beast with this approach.
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2014

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

    Hi! I think you should practice on smalltalk everywhere you go in the beginning. The key is to step slightly out of your comfort zone frequently until it becomes second nature. Write a list over situations you fear and make it a daily goal to speak to say 5 strangers. Gender and age doesnt really matter in the beginning. A simple "Hi at first, then add a few setences when "hi" begins to get boring. Then make your goal slightly more ambitious and repeat. You can learn some tricks from PUA but in the end confidence is what matters the most. I would suggest reading some books on body language when im at it. Then you can practice on getting rid of bad habits. You also have to show your confidence in some way :) I really like to put on some smoking outfit and walk the streets like a boss.

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