PIED and DE cured. 200+ days without P. No urges.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by runksoneck, Mar 1, 2021.

  1. runksoneck

    runksoneck Fapstronaut

    Hey, @bradmax I passed trough the same thing, firstly i hadn`t pleasure with sex, specially because of my pied and my DE and because i was escaping trough sex, i wasn`t present, i just wanted the sex. I was objetifying womans just as peaces of meat that i could do sex. It is hard to think about that now, but it is true.

    So when i saw a girl in street i just wanted to fck her and don`t even wanting to know her name. Now dosen`t happen anymore, i feel horny sometimes, but i view them as humans, with personalities, values...

    So that was a big change for me.

    About my It was only 1 or 2 times per week, and sometimes i had o 2 or 3 times in one session, but mostly just one.

    About partners, i am single, so i had multiple partners.

    I started to note significant changes when i realized that i didn`t have the urges to whatch P during the day, and that came when i realized that i had a process that could deal with my sexual desire and my life problems, without having to escape it trough PMO.

    Another significant change was when i started to feel more pleasure in sex than in watching P or M. I was present, i wasn`t escaping in my mind.

    So more important than a specific time, is to realize that you trust in your method, that really works, that you are in balance, instead of resisting watching P or to not M.

    hope it can help

    do you know portuguese? haha

    I understand you @callousedfinger.

    Let me tell my story related with therapists.

    Firstly when i decided to go after to a therapist i was very reluctant, after all i had to tell someone else about my ``addiction``, the sht i was passing trough...all that. But i went.

    And this first one therapist i went, i went after him specially because he already knew about nofap, the addiction and etc (he had a site with articles and etc).

    So going there he advised me to do the same things that nofap recommend, installing blockers, getting busy trought the day, going after a girlfriend... and the result: I had the same results when i was doing the method of nofap.

    So after some months, more engajed in the forum and trying to do nofap challenges...i had some success, 60/90/120 strikes...but i couldn't manage to get it longer. And i was in a point of my life that i was extremly frustrated for no getting better, for no getting free. So i decided that i had to go after a therapist again. I was in a mindset that i had to do all things i had to resolve this sht.

    So searching for therapists in my medical plan, i didn't found anyone that talked about nofap or something related, i was almost quitting the idea, because i wanted to find someone i could minimally believe, i could have confidence in him. But i didn't found.

    So when i was almost quitting, i found a therapist that at least was well rated in doctors forums...so when i did call to them they said that she was no longer attending the clinic. I was pissed, almost whitout hope. But i needed to find someone, at least give it a try. So in the same clinic i booked with another therapist, and it was a woman!

    I was extremly scared to open my life to a woman, saying i was objectifying womans and all the sht was happening in my life.

    And i said to her in the first session that i initially was searching for a man. She respect that and said that if she couldn't handle she would pass me to another therapist.

    So in there, i told about my problems, the forum, the nofap challenge, about my strikes, about my fears...and in there she suprisilying advised me to do M!

    I remember that i have said in my journal that i possibly could never M anymore, because i was scared that it could lead to the bad loop again. Because the majority of nofap community relate M with P and condemns M!

    But i gave it a try.

    The condidition was there i couldn't M whatching P, or M for escape from some problem happening in my life. And i had an amount of times per week allowed.

    So i needed to report to her every week about that.

    And for my suprise, it did work!

    And like i said concomitantly with that I was dealing with other personal problems with her.

    So M is good or bad?

    In my perspective depends in how you use it. Is like a remedy, the reason and frequency make all the difference, and what was a remedy, can turns out into a drug.

    If you use with P or for escaping your problems like anxiety or fear of talking to girls, you can turn that into a super bad habit. If you can use without P, you can turn that into a sexual relief. And i try to no M much because it takes some energy of you.

    And i know for myself that i can't rely only in sex to deal with my sexual desire, because eventually in some time of my life i won't have S, we all know, our girlfriend or wife will not want or can or something else. So what you will do in these situations? will not M and hold yourself all times until it happen or get a hooker to have S, or cheat your partner because you can only rely on S.

    For me having M as an alternative to my sexual desire is much more healthier and lead to balance than rely only in S. Also relying only in S can eventually only substitute one bad habit (in P) to another (to S).

    That is my perspective and I respect others, if it's working for you, and others can copy, good for everyone. What is important after all is to find ways to help others to break that bad habit.
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2021
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  2. Texas Reboot Man

    Texas Reboot Man Fapstronaut

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    Great thread my man, and it sounds like a great outline for success. Right now after realizing this problem, I cut off porn (32 days ago) and only came when I was with my girl. We ended up breaking up/at minimum taking a break for a month, so now I am focused on no PMO for at least a month. After that month, I want to O but only with a girl, whether it's my ex or someone new. Then after about a month or two (3-4 total of no P at all), I want to do like you are doing - M but only when I feel the sexual desire to do it and maximum probably 3x a week. I never want to watch P again. That I am firm on.

    My issues right now are definitely sensitivity, DE, and some PIED. Do you think that plan lines up with what you were able to accomplish? I am very successful and happy in the other areas of my life, and also started seeing a therapist a couple of weeks ago. This thread is very inspiring.
     
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  3. runksoneck

    runksoneck Fapstronaut

    Hey @Texas Reboot Man. Yeah, that sounds like a plan, the most important thing is to stay away from P.

    Just be careful with your sex desire when you said that you will O only with a girl, if for some reason you can't manage to get S, watch carefully your sexual desire, don't let get too high, M without P before. Because your natural process is to resort to PMO when your sexual desire is too high.

    About PIED, just stay away from P and do kegel exercises for man.

    For DE and sensitivity, first stay away from pmo, second, don't pressure too hard in M, and third, try to change your condom to a thinner one. And keep doing S, naturally your sensitivity will come back.

    Hope it can help. Let me know about your journey.
     
  4. runksoneck

    runksoneck Fapstronaut

    You can't cut PMO and suddenly expect that you will be ok. PMO is a habit.

    You will always have sex desire unless you are a super monk. So if you only try to cut PMO, you will be in a state of constant tension, sexual tension. So instead of only cutting, you substitute the PMO to M without P and S.

    You reinforce that new habit (M without P and S) until it will be stronger than PMO.

    Eventually, you will be free from PMO.

    This is the essence of what I am doing and what is working - 8 months now and no urges to PMO.

    The question is: Can you be a monk? Do you wanna be a monk?
     
  5. runksoneck

    runksoneck Fapstronaut

    Last post from my journal

    Where the focus should be is in the process, in the rewiring part, in changing your default mechanism to S and M without P. And to deal with problems in life with healthier solutions, like emotional intelligence, taking responsibility instead of always being a victim, developing new healthy habits, not being in toxic relationships or in jobs that we don`t like at a point that we need PMO to escape, meditating.

    That`s the rewiring part. Again, you can`t promise that you never will PMO again or a goal of 1, 180 days, 90 days...cut PMO and expect that you will be cured!

    You need the rewiring part.

    The pillars are cutting off PMO and REWIRING.

    But like I said, not rewiring just only with exercises, cold showers, meditation.

    You have to look what is the 80/20 here. And like I said, for me was having another healthier default mechanism to deal with my sex drive, which is S and M without P. And dealing with my big problems.

    The rewiring part is what will give you new healthier mechanisms to deal with your sexual desire and to deal with big problems.

    Without healthier new mechanisms you cut of PMO, but your sex drive will call out, your big problems will call out, and without rewiring/new healthier mechanisms you will go back to your default mechanism, which is PMO. So you will be in a loop.

    I will do another post about Habits and the Pareto principle.
     
  6. runksoneck

    runksoneck Fapstronaut

    PMO is a habit?

    I view a lot of similarities of addiction with a bad habit, a super bad habit.

    The mechanism is the same: triggers, desire, process, and recompense.

    But PMO addiction have a lot of triggers (everywhere, from different formats), a lot of desires (you can do to satisfy your sexual needs, you can do to escape from reality, to feel good...), the process, PMO itself (is simple, unlimited, contains novelty, superstimulus) and the recompense (is A LOT)

    So that's is why I relate so much with a super bad habit.

    And because we repeat so much that bad habit, occur some changes in our brains (sensitization, desensitization, altered response to stress...)

    From a guy who was truly addicted, more than 10 years of addiction, suicidal thoughts, had to stop everything else because of a craving..
     
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  7. M Eezy

    M Eezy Fapstronaut

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    That's awesome!!!
     
  8. Watanabe

    Watanabe Fapstronaut

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    Hi Runksoneck I was just wondering what method\technique\mantra\style you use for your meditation? Cheers
     
  9. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    nice man, and when did you notice your PIED & DE got cured? after how much time?
     
  10. runksoneck

    runksoneck Fapstronaut

    A simple one, I use headspace, semi-guided meditation. 10 minutes per day, every day after I wake up, go to the bathroom then I meditate.

    PIED was around 2 months.

    But DE only after some 4/5months, my sensibility was too low, what worked for me was changing my condom to a thinner one, decreasing the pressure of my M (without P and without being an escape).
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2021
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  11. runksoneck

    runksoneck Fapstronaut

    Don't let PMO and sex be your only options to deal with your healthy sexual desires.

    The problem is that your sexual desire will always be there, and until now you only have PMO and sex to satisfy your needs.

    What i saw from that perspective is that if I chose only sex as my mechanism to deal with my healthy sexual needs, i know that someday i would not have sex for weeks, maybe months. And in that occasion, I would try to hold my healthy sexual energy, but eventually, the desire would be so huge that every little thing (images, woman in street) would turn me extremely on, and probably I would PMO, because is the only mechanism left for me besides sex and that i had practiced for years.

    You can try to change your perspective about sex to try to see if your frequency decreases and you can hold on only with sex for your entire life.

    I know I can't, I can't be consistent with that, depending only on sex to deal with my healthy sexual desires. So that's why I added M without P and without escaping to my arsenal.

    So I know if for some reason I couldn't have sex for weeks or even a month, I can satisfy my healthy sexual desires with M.

    I know I can live that way for my entire life because is balanced, I will be not holding my sexual desires, ignoring them. If I don't have one, I have another option that isn't PMO.

    I prefer sex and M without P and without being an escape than to PMO.

    I don't have more urges now because I don't need more PMO to satisfy my healthy sexual desires, isn't more of an option for me. I have more healthy options.
     
  12. runksoneck

    runksoneck Fapstronaut

    HOW TO NOT HAVE MORE URGES

    Quote from Atomic Habits by James Clear about eliminating bad habits:

    ''Autocontrol is a strategy of short term, not long term. You are capable to resist some tentation once or twice but is impossible that you can have enough will to win all your desires every time. Instead of depending on a new dose of will every time you want to do something, your energy would be better spent if you try to optimize your ambient. This is the secret of auto control. Turn the stimulus of your good habits clear and of your bad ones, invisible.

    A more reliable approach to eliminate habits in the bud is to reduce your exposition to the stimulus that trigger them.''

    That is a life-changer concept.

    Relating that with my cure:

    - I don't have to depend on my will to beat PMO, I am not resisting temptation! I just turned my stimulus invisible! What stimulus? The stimulus that triggered my desire to PMO:

    - STIMULUS 1: holding my sexual energy or ignoring it for more than 2 weeks or trying to achieve 90 days without M and Sex, so I was so horny that PMO was so fck temptation.
    What did I do to turn that stimulus invisible?
    - I don't ignore my sexual energy and I do sex or M without escaping and without P.

    - STIMULUS 2: I was working with something that was so boring, I hated it, and would give me urges every day, I NEEDED PMO TO ESCAPE from that.
    What did I do to turn that stimulus invisible?
    - I QUITED that fcking job and went after something I like to do! And I fcking find it!

    - STIMULUS 3: I was so anxious about some problem that I needed PMO to feel better, to escape from that anxiety
    What did I do to turn that stimulus invisible?
    - I LEARNED how to deal with my fcking emotions! I know how to identify them. And I fcking attack the problem! I don't ignore it. I do what I can, what is my control! So I keep peace with my mind. I also meditate every fcking day 10 minutes. And I do therapy every fcking Thursday at 11:00 am. Result: I don't suffer from anxiety at a level that I need PMO to escape!

    - STIMULUS 4: I was in a relationship where I wasn't happy! So I needed PMO to escape, to feel better.
    What did I do to turn that stimulus invisible?
    - I tried to change the person, I tried to change me (about what is important to me in a relationship), but that fcking doesn't work! So we broke up!

    - STIMULUS 5: I had low self-esteem and couldn't have sex enough! Yes, it was scarce. So I needed PMO to escape from that scarcity state and to feel more confident.
    What did I do to turn that stimulus invisible?
    - I started to fcking develop my self (gym, courses, changing my career, diet, doing more things I like...)
    - And I downloaded tinder and started to date girls! Initially, it was a nightmare. But with time I started to date some girls and boom! It isn't more of a problem for me!

    So like I said, it is easy for me now because I don't need to fight against my urges, I don't need to resist my stimulus, I don't need to resist PMO! I fck attacked all them! Destroyed all of them! That is why I DON'T HAVE MORE URGES! From a guy who had urges EVERYDAY, who had to stop everything to PMO because the urge was so strong!


    It is EASY for me to stay away from the cycle/loop of P->M->O because I destroyed those stimuli!

    And if it is easy, you can be consistent.

    What do you need to do to not have more urges? Find these stimuli in your life and destroy them! Turn them invisible! Don't depend solely on your motivation, on your willpower to fight PMO, you will fail in the long run! Like I did for a long time.
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2021
  13. Mokoulou

    Mokoulou Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys. Just wanted to let you know that today I tried to masturbate to touch alone and got 40 % erect. Man, and I got some sort of sensitivity down there too. I am on day 100 exactly. That's improvement man. Keep fighting. And I am doing nothing except no PMO hardmode, no exercise, no meditation, no rewiring, no whatsoever. Thank god. But mentally I am not that goog. But after all progress is progress. I will keep you updated if there's any more improvement. Thanks
     
  14. M Eezy

    M Eezy Fapstronaut

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    Thanks we will be waiting
     
  15. FrenchOliver

    FrenchOliver Fapstronaut

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  16. runksoneck

    runksoneck Fapstronaut

    Nice, be patient. You conditioned your brain to super stimuli for a long period, so M alone without P or without escaping at first won't produce the same levels of dopamine as P. But your mind will get used to these new levels of dopamine, which is the normal levels people are used to, so you will get better erections.
     
  17. Mokoulou

    Mokoulou Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys. After that first session, I fell in a flatline of 3 or 4 days and then I came out and tried again yesterday, got an erection and today I am not in a flatline. It's like when I don't see women I feel like flatlining but when I see a little bit of nudity (in real life of course), I can feel my heart racing and my dick moves a little bit. I will keep going and after maybe month 5 or 6 I will try to get a girlfriend to rewire with. Stay safe guys
     
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