PIED heals faster if you connect with your partner more?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by towardthefuture141, Sep 28, 2020.

  1. towardthefuture141

    towardthefuture141 New Fapstronaut

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    I'm new to this and I've been reading a lot of stuff online, primarily comments on Reddit. I read some users stating that rebooting is shortened if you're making contact with your partner. Hugging, cuddling, kissing, but not actual intercourse. Is this true?
     
  2. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Porn is bad, masturbation maybe is bad. Sex with a random girl (as a replacement of porn) could be bad, but sex with you woman it couldn't be bad for you. Instead is as good as hugging, cuddling... etc. Don't overthink it, just leave porn and masturbation behind and enjoy intimacy with your woman.
     
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  3. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Each individual heals at their own pace. It took my husband 4-6 months before pied was gone, what actually helped him was no sex. We still hugged and kissed( not making out). But, we did what our csat recommended, which was no sexual stimuli. He couldn’t even see me naked. We tried to do 90 days but only made it 52, had sex once, then 50 again. This is what really helped in the bedroom! If he slips with porn or masturbation, pied comes back. It may take you longer, if you had access to porn in your early teens, then your brain was growing while you were using. This may have had more of an impact. No one knows.
     
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  4. Les_Brown

    Les_Brown Fapstronaut

    I certainly agree with this assertion. In my personal opinion, communication becomes essential during such healing, whereby one or both partners avoid PMO. To clarify, this communication may necessitate explicit vocalization of each partner's thoughts, feelings, and needs (intimate or otherwise). At the end of the day, most partners may need something to fill the void that could emerge in the setting of decreased physical engagement ... emotional connection is one way to do so but not the only avenue.

    If you and your partner decide to continue physical intimacy, as mentioned above it may behoove you to take things slow, focus on being present, and sharing your love for your partner subtly without resorting to the more aggressive/objectifying love-making portrayed in P videos. It comes down to whether both partners desire to pursue such intimacy and based on their experience with each other, whether they think this will help not only the addiction but also their relationship. If in doubt, it may be worthwhile to start conservatively before exciting things.

    It's ok to not know what is best for you or your relationship! If that is the case, consider sharing that with your partner because vulnerability (with the right person) fosters trust and often deepens intimacy. Good luck.
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  5. abc12345678ia

    abc12345678ia Fapstronaut

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    I had access to porn since 9 HC videos pre internet never had PIEd until this year a few more months back at 51 .

    But quit m 13 days porn 8 days got rock hard had a wet dream at day 11.

    So after day 53 why didn't you guys get back to normal why did you wait another 50 days seams the porn became temptation since you guys obstauned 50 days at a time.

    Now do you guys have sex more frequently and has his porn PIED stayed in remission now?

    And I really thank you for sharing this here with us all. Very helpful.
     
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  6. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    We stopped all sex because it was advised by our csats and because it was difficult for him to abstain from pmo after sex because of the chaser. Porn is not a temptation because you haven’t had sex. That is the addict lying to you. Porn is a temptation because you want your high from it. Porn is your excuse to escape whatever emotions you cannot cope with. We usually have sex a few times a week.. I have a higher libido than he does. His natural libido( not porn induced frenzied libido)is around 2x a week. He had an easier time abstaining from pmo when we didn’t have sex. He had to be careful after sex. Most addicts don’t realize that pmo is not about sex. If it was , all addicts with willing partners would quit immediately. Most never quit, they just add the partner sex to their pmo addiction. He will get pied if he looks at porn or masturbates, both affect his erection considerably. So he doesn’t do either.
     
  7. abc12345678ia

    abc12345678ia Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing

    If I'm getting this when he has sex dopamine release seeks second or third orgasm from porn or more sex then?

    I just started this my wife doesn't want sex anymore she is 55 starting menopause started in 2017 so I chose looking at porn and using it as a choice to masterbate to not go out of marriage I wasted alot of sexual energy on Average 4x a days so 900 days to do 3,600 times to porn beat off cum

    But then realized I'm not going to get sex anymore and I hated it so started to go out of my marriage and in Feb I had an issue with PIED so embarrassing.

    But I have Combat indused PTSD and I am distant at times from everyone I have survivor guilt afraid going to kill wife and kids in a car accident that will be my fault but I will be fine and have to live with the stress. So porn has that factor of distance from real life.

    And up until my wife not wanting sex I had all kinds of sex and still had porn sex too.

    But I am as you said an additive personality that started out of Childhood sex abuse from 5 to 11.5

    I found this site about 12 days ago. I had made it 13 days no masterbation 8 days no porn and 13 days no Orgasm . Since I was 12 years old I'm 52 now so 40 years longest I have gone for all 3 things.

    Starting day 1 now fell because I got angry frustrated about life had a major flashback yesterday felt the physcodamatic paiin in my
    anal area from being raped at 5 hurt . Felt shame from that memory too sought PMO to soothe the pain did it 4x in about 2 hours time.

    But gotta try to get control over this. Or I never will
     
    Wugazi32 likes this.

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