PIED journal

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by BertrandR, Jan 10, 2020.

  1. BertrandR

    BertrandR Fapstronaut

    I think mine is a common problem in this forum section. I fight against PIED from a couple years, this because I discovered this community just recently.

    My symptoms are:

    - desensitized penis
    - i have no morning woods
    - can't get a hard erection
    - even if I have a decent erection I can't usually penetrate because it get flaccid the most of the times
    - can't use condoms, of course
    - I can just have sex in a few position, lying on bed
    - Impossible to have erection while standing

    I started no PMO 19 days ago with just an exception. I can have sex with girls, but not paid girls. this because I know that having sex helps the mind on overcoming my porn addiction in favor of sex with real girls.

    Briefly myself:
    I'm a student, a good one, have excellent marks, I like to climb. I've a quite good social life, I know new people every day, I have no problem with girls, except with sex, of course :-(, and every time it happens that "he" doesn't go up, I have to explain what PIED is. And it is really frustrating. I have to meet with some girls right now, but i won't because I know I'll go to bed with them, and I'm tired of this situation. Don't knowing if I'll have an erection or not, and anyway, a bad one. I like to cook, read and watch films. Anyway, I'm quite active and positive.

    From day 0 to now (day 19):
    I started after an 18 days streak, and in this 18 days, I had a 2 weeks flatline (really bad, I panicked). In this period it happened to me to have sex with a virgin girl. Of course "it" didn't work, it just work, sometimes and in some situations, with capable girls. Anyway. At day 3 it happened again to have sex with this girl. This time I had an erection, but no penetration (had no condom). Anyway, tha I had some problems with urges in the first week. Then for Christmas and new year I came back home, to my parents (I don't live in my home town). I had no time for the urge fortunately, but the night of 31 December I had "sex", but "it" didn't work. We did each other just oral sex. Then I came back to my university, and fortunately, I started studying for exams, so I am trying to postpone with this girls I have to meet. I started some days ago doing Kegels.

    What it is changed from day 0 to 19:

    - i noticed a huge increase of energy (really a lot)
    - I don't wake up tired.
    - I'm more active
    - I feel more self confident. I'm facing life in a more confident way. (and this is super, I don't know if it is caused by noPMO, but it is really like to be a superhero. when I am tempted on relapsing I think: Hey, I don't want to lose this sensation, and then I press the panic button XD)
    - Sometimes I have erection just thinking on girls I meet. sometimes even strong erections and for some minutes (which is amazing)
    - Urge swing. Sometimes very strong. Sometimes low.
    - sometimes I can't study for the urge. thinking to start doing meditation
    - My addiction is still here, together with PIED. But I'm positive. I'll win against this monster.

    So this is a short introduction, I will write quite daily how it evolves, and how I feel in the meantime. All the things I will try, and if something works or not on me. So, good luck to everyone who is facing PIED, I know what it feels. Hope to solve it, and to help someone with this thread.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2020 at 10:22 AM
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  2. BertrandR

    BertrandR Fapstronaut

    Day 22. A couple nights ago I had an erection (80%), that didn't want me to sleep, it really lasted a long time. It's positive, I think. I'm continuing doing Kegels. I'm continuing studying, of course, except yesterday, which I spent with some friends. I have not started with meditation yet. In the meantime I began the book 12 rules for life: an antidote to chaos, by Jordan B. Peterson, and it seems a really good book. lately I'm going to sleep too late, and in the morning I wake up a little stunned. I think I'll try going to sleep a little earlier, starting from tonight.

    Let's see if I can direct my energy (which I think derives from no PMO) for improve my lifestyle.

    I'll set up some goals for the week from 13 -> to 20:

    - going to bed at 00:00, if possible (Every day)
    - Finish to study and start to repeat
    - Train at least 3 times
    - read at least 30 minutes before going to bed, If possible (every day)


    I think it will be enough for this week, I'll insert meditation maybe next week.
    on next Monday I'll give myself a success rate (%).

    And for reward? nothing! I don't need it, I need just the consciousness (in % XD) that I'm improving myself.

    I think this list will grow up a lot.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2020 at 10:25 AM
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  3. BertrandR

    BertrandR Fapstronaut

    Day 25. 4 days to Monday, and to my % score. Yesterday I spent all the day studying, and at 6 p.m. I went to the gym, then I came back home and collapsed on bed. I was very tired, so I ate something, stay a little with flat mates, and then I went to bed. Try to guess?! I couldn't sleep for the urge. so i turned myself into bed for quite a long time until I finally could sleep. Then, one of my flat mates made some noise early in the morning, and I woke up (6 a.m. I think). And here the amazing thing! I had morning wood! And for me is super, because I usually don't have it! Anyway, PIED is still there, but at least it is a step forward. Hope to have more. I would like to observe that after these days I have the urge to ejaculate more than porn. I'll explain better. When the urge get stronger, I don't feel the need to see some porn and masturbate, like it was before (it was something obvious to use porn and masturbate when I needed to ejaculate), I just feel the need to ejaculate, regardless porn or masturbation (probably because the urge is stronger than it was before noPMO). Maybe is something good. I mean, of course porn comes in to my mind, but doesn't have the importance it has before.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2020 at 10:08 AM
  4. EnglishTosser

    EnglishTosser Fapstronaut

    30
    25
    18
    Well done, we're both roughly on the same amount of days for abstaining so it'll be good to hear your progress!
     
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  5. BertrandR

    BertrandR Fapstronaut

    Day 29. Talking about my % score.
    I had 4 goals, which means 25% each.

    - Going to bed early. I did it just three times (10%)
    - About studying, I finished and started to repeat (25%)
    - I trained 2 times (15%)
    - I read just one evening. (5)

    55%. mmmmm not the best, but it can be ok for this week. Studying takes a lot of energy.

    Talking about PIED. I'm continuing doing Kegel. Sometimes I have an erection, usually when in bed, and it feels always a little better, I have the impression that my erection is going always better. Anyway, I'm in a weird situation. I don't feel the need to masturbate anymore. Maybe just a little, sometimes, but rarely. It feels like a flatline, but I remember it, and was different, was worst. When I had the 2 weeks flatline I felt like my penis was all dead, and I panicked, now is something like that, but a little different, maybe a little softer, I don't feel my penis all dead at least.

    Another list, and another % for week 20-> 27

    - going to sleep early (still here)
    - finish to study and be super prepared
    - train at least 3 times
    - read before going to bed
    - find a paper on a weird scientific argument, and study it
    - try meditation a couple of days

    I think that's enough for now.
     

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