PIED journal

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by BertrandR, Jan 10, 2020.

  1. BertrandR

    BertrandR Fapstronaut

    I think mine is a common problem in this forum section. I fight against PIED from a couple years, this because I discovered this community just recently.

    My symptoms are:

    - desensitized penis
    - i have no morning woods
    - can't get a hard erection
    - even if I have a decent erection I can't usually penetrate because it get flaccid the most of the times
    - can't use condoms, of course
    - I can just have sex in a few position, lying on bed
    - Impossible to have erection while standing

    I started no PMO 19 days ago with just an exception. I can have sex with girls, but not paid girls. this because I know that having sex helps the mind on overcoming my porn addiction in favor of sex with real girls.

    Briefly myself:
    I'm a student, a good one, have excellent marks, I like to climb. I've a quite good social life, I know new people every day, I have no problem with girls, except with sex, of course :-(, and every time it happens that "he" doesn't go up, I have to explain what PIED is. And it is really frustrating. I have to meet with some girls right now, but i won't because I know I'll go to bed with them, and I'm tired of this situation. Don't knowing if I'll have an erection or not, and anyway, a bad one. I like to cook, read and watch films. Anyway, I'm quite active and positive.

    From day 0 to now (day 19):
    I started after an 18 days streak, and in this 18 days, I had a 2 weeks flatline (really bad, I panicked). In this period it happened to me to have sex with a virgin girl. Of course "it" didn't work, it just work, sometimes and in some situations, with capable girls. Anyway. At day 3 it happened again to have sex with this girl. This time I had an erection, but no penetration (had no condom). Anyway, tha I had some problems with urges in the first week. Then for Christmas and new year I came back home, to my parents (I don't live in my home town). I had no time for the urge fortunately, but the night of 31 December I had "sex", but "it" didn't work. We did each other just oral sex. Then I came back to my university, and fortunately, I started studying for exams, so I am trying to postpone with this girls I have to meet. I started some days ago doing Kegels.

    What it is changed from day 0 to 19:

    - i noticed a huge increase of energy (really a lot)
    - I don't wake up tired.
    - I'm more active
    - I feel more self confident. I'm facing life in a more confident way. (and this is super, I don't know if it is caused by noPMO, but it is really like to be a superhero. when I am tempted on relapsing I think: Hey, I don't want to lose this sensation, and then I press the panic button XD)
    - Sometimes I have erection just thinking on girls I meet. sometimes even strong erections and for some minutes (which is amazing)
    - Urge swing. Sometimes very strong. Sometimes low.
    - sometimes I can't study for the urge. thinking to start doing meditation
    - My addiction is still here, together with PIED. But I'm positive. I'll win against this monster.

    So this is a short introduction, I will write quite daily how it evolves, and how I feel in the meantime. All the things I will try, and if something works or not on me. So, good luck to everyone who is facing PIED, I know what it feels. Hope to solve it, and to help someone with this thread.
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2020 at 10:22 AM
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  2. BertrandR

    BertrandR Fapstronaut

    Day 22. A couple nights ago I had an erection (80%), that didn't want me to sleep, it really lasted a long time. It's positive, I think. I'm continuing doing Kegels. I'm continuing studying, of course, except yesterday, which I spent with some friends. I have not started with meditation yet. In the meantime I began the book 12 rules for life: an antidote to chaos, by Jordan B. Peterson, and it seems a really good book. lately I'm going to sleep too late, and in the morning I wake up a little stunned. I think I'll try going to sleep a little earlier, starting from tonight.

    Let's see if I can direct my energy (which I think derives from no PMO) for improve my lifestyle.

    I'll set up some goals for the week from 13 -> to 20:

    - going to bed at 00:00, if possible (Every day)
    - Finish to study and start to repeat
    - Train at least 3 times
    - read at least 30 minutes before going to bed, If possible (every day)

    I think it will be enough for this week, I'll insert meditation maybe next week.
    on next Monday I'll give myself a success rate (%).

    And for reward? nothing! I don't need it, I need just the consciousness (in % XD) that I'm improving myself.

    I think this list will grow up a lot.
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2020 at 10:25 AM
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  3. BertrandR

    BertrandR Fapstronaut

    Day 25. 4 days to Monday, and to my % score. Yesterday I spent all the day studying, and at 6 p.m. I went to the gym, then I came back home and collapsed on bed. I was very tired, so I ate something, stay a little with flat mates, and then I went to bed. Try to guess?! I couldn't sleep for the urge. so i turned myself into bed for quite a long time until I finally could sleep. Then, one of my flat mates made some noise early in the morning, and I woke up (6 a.m. I think). And here the amazing thing! I had morning wood! And for me is super, because I usually don't have it! Anyway, PIED is still there, but at least it is a step forward. Hope to have more. I would like to observe that after these days I have the urge to ejaculate more than porn. I'll explain better. When the urge get stronger, I don't feel the need to see some porn and masturbate, like it was before (it was something obvious to use porn and masturbate when I needed to ejaculate), I just feel the need to ejaculate, regardless porn or masturbation (probably because the urge is stronger than it was before noPMO). Maybe is something good. I mean, of course porn comes in to my mind, but doesn't have the importance it has before.
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2020 at 10:08 AM
  4. EnglishTosser

    EnglishTosser Fapstronaut

    Well done, we're both roughly on the same amount of days for abstaining so it'll be good to hear your progress!
    BertrandR likes this.
  5. BertrandR

    BertrandR Fapstronaut

    Day 29. Talking about my % score.
    I had 4 goals, which means 25% each.

    - Going to bed early. I did it just three times (10%)
    - About studying, I finished and started to repeat (25%)
    - I trained 2 times (15%)
    - I read just one evening. (5)

    55%. mmmmm not the best, but it can be ok for this week. Studying takes a lot of energy.

    Talking about PIED. I'm continuing doing Kegel. Sometimes I have an erection, usually when in bed, and it feels always a little better, I have the impression that my erection is going always better. Anyway, I'm in a weird situation. I don't feel the need to masturbate anymore. Maybe just a little, sometimes, but rarely. It feels like a flatline, but I remember it, and was different, was worst. When I had the 2 weeks flatline I felt like my penis was all dead, and I panicked, now is something like that, but a little different, maybe a little softer, I don't feel my penis all dead at least.

    Another list, and another % for week 20-> 27

    - going to sleep early (still here)
    - finish to study and be super prepared
    - train at least 3 times
    - read before going to bed
    - find a paper on a weird scientific argument, and study it
    - try meditation a couple of days

    I think that's enough for now.

Share This Page