PIED, SPH and humiliation fetishes

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Cap10, Jul 21, 2021.

  1. Cap10

    Cap10 Fapstronaut

    Hello,i have been reading peoples stories on the forum for quite some time now trying to relate and find some answers that could be helpful for me aswell but i now decided to post my own story and see if any of you guys have anything to tell as the last couple of days have been really tough.

    I think i should take it from the beggining just so i don't leave out anything important

    ***Post may contain possible triggers for some.***

    I'm a 21 year old and i have been fapping to porn for as long as i can remember,probably from the age of 10 or 11 almost daily and some days even more than once.I think that in the beggining i used to fap to sensation alone and maybe some pictures of girls in bikinis pretty normal for a boy at that age(also sad that this is considerd normal).

    As i got older i started watching porn on the internet but to be honest i never was that much into vanilla PIV porn like most of the people at that age.

    As you can probably guess i progressed into more shocking matterial like foot fetish content as that was the only thing that could give me that dopamine rush, i am really not sure but i thing i always was into feet from a really young age, i remember looking at womens feet when i was really young.

    But my real extreme fetish is small penis humiliation and clothed females/naked men videos.At first i was really confused when i started discovering this type of videos they would give me an enormous amount of pleasure but they would also give enourmous amounts of guild during and after i was done fapping.It was like a drug to me, these videos(and photos) felt complitely different to ''normal'' porn.

    I think that when i was younger(before i sterted watching sph porn) believe i saw something like a scene in a movie were the man lost a bet to a woman and he had to run around the yard naked while she was laughing and i felt very strange when i saw it.I was angry and i felt sorry for the man, i remember felling really confused horny on top of felling sorry for the guy.

    In the beggining it was only such scenes in movies were a man would get pantsed and women would laugh at him and make fun of him.I remember these scenes left me very confused and i would think about it for quite some time as i felt very overwhelmed by the feeling of shame/horniness

    I dont know if this has to do anything with the creation of my fetish but i thought i might mention it.

    So as the time passed and i grew older i continued watching fetish porn thoughout highschool as i didn't know how harmfull it was.

    I began to realise that i might have a problem when i went to college, i was at a party one night and there was this girl that i hooked up with and we ended up at my place ready to have sex.Keep in mind that apart from some kissing with some other girls in the past i was still a virgin.

    When the time came to have sex i felt completely limp down there like nothing.I didn't give it too much attention as i blamed it on booze.

    After some months a hooked up with another girl and the same thing happend apart form the booze.So this was a wake up call because i couldn't blame it there as a was sober.

    I am now in a relationship with a girl i love and we tried having sex with no luck,i only get somewhat hard with a bj but is goes away very quickly.I heve explainde to her about my problem and how porn may have created it and se is very understanding and willing to help(i am really lucky to have her in my life :) )

    I knew about nofap in the past but i decided to finaly give it a shot after reading about all the benefits including PIED elimination, i'm currently on day 36 of no PMO but i am really confussed about the state i am, some days i have many urges and some days i feel nothing.

    I have abstained in the past from pmo for about 20 days as i remember but it only seemed to make me more sensitive to vanilla stuff but even more sensitive to fetish stuff.

    I am at the point where the thought of a fat man with a small dick gives me a dopamine rush on its own even thinking about it.Keep in mind that i am straight and i love my gf but only porn and especially this type of fetish porn can give me erections and make my have an orgasm

    Do you thing that nofap can help me overcome this fetish and my ED(i thing its PIED because as i mentioned before there are situations where i can have rock solid erections, but the problem comes when i'm in bed with my gf.

    I only want to have normal vanilly sex with the woman i love and overcome those wierd fetishes,even if nofap doesn't help me i have decided that this is me now, no more porn no more jerking off to pixels and no more disgusting fetishes,only real healthy sex with real women.

    I would like to hear what you guys have say about my case,i apreciate any advice you have and i would love to hear about anyone that is or was in a similar situation with mine.Also sorry for any mistakes, english isn't my first language.
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2021
  2. BlueBallsOG

    BlueBallsOG Fapstronaut

    Pretty common PIED case, love that you blamed your ED in booze, so did I. I don't know how long it takes for your PIED to go away with NoFap, but it's always worth a try, and yes porn really is the cause.
    Abel100% likes this.
  3. Cap10

    Cap10 Fapstronaut

    Also i would like to ask what should i do about my wierd triggers

    Since my fetish or kink is small penis humiliation and cfnm i get really wierd triggers that i feel though my whole body

    For example taking my clothes of to have a shower in the winter is a crazy trigger for me since my penis shrinks and is really small because of the cold(even now that i'm writing this my heart is beating really fast and i have this dopamine rush feeling)

    Also going to the beach and changing is a trigger for me looking at my own penis being small.

    I know it must sound crazy to you but i'm 100% honest

    Isn't this feeling counter productive because of the dopamine rush and the pathways firing up?

    Even though i'm not actually fapping to the fantasies i have the same feeling i used to have when i was searching for videos or pics of this particular fetish, it last for like a few seconds but i feel like its bad for my reboot

    How would you go approaching this problem?
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2021
  4. Aram124

    Aram124 Fapstronaut

    It might take 1 to 2 years to repair all the damage
    Abel100% likes this.

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