Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Oberyn, May 15, 2019.

  1. Oberyn

    Oberyn New Fapstronaut

    I am 46, have an SO and have been living with PIED for at least 4-5 years.

    It’s putting a strain on my relationship as I am unable to sustain an erection in PIV for longer than 5-10mins. By comparison, I can edge to porn for over an hour. Morning erections are still really hard, I’d say even for my age.

    However, when it comes to the real thing, I become a massive fail. And the memory of that fail becomes anxiety that leads to yet another fail, a vicious cycle. That failure then leads me to porn as a coping mechanism.

    I’m a gym fit 40 year old, no health issue, good cardiovascular performance. I do smoke but I’m suspecting my ED is PI and not a physiological cause because of the consistency of morning wood.

    The one thing that’s worrying me recently is that I’m finding my penis numb. I’m hoping this community will teach me how to get through a Reboot.
  2. synchros

    synchros Fapstronaut


    For me, being active in the quitting process seems to be key to getting a good streak going. That means reading up a lot on the subject, as well as journaling here and following the journals of others.

    One realization that greatly reduced P’s pull on me was that it’s all about craving those neurochemicals. There’s nothing beautiful about porn. Giving it up isn’t sad. There was never a relationship between me and P. I was just a monkey in a chair, pushing a button to get high.

    Best of luck!
    peacefulashoka likes this.
  3. Oberyn

    Oberyn New Fapstronaut

    Thank you, it’s so encouraging here! I didn’t expect anyone would pay any attention to my problems.

    My porn addiction started when I was going through some shit. Looking back, I realise my porn use increases whenever I’m undergoing stress and I use it as a coping mechanism.

    At this time, I would say I’m pretty messed up in my head. I’m hoping the bros here can guide me in what appears to be a long journey. The one thing I have now is the courage to go on it.
  4. Kapusta_ Breath

    Kapusta_ Breath Fapstronaut

    Hey brother, I'm in the same boat as you with performance anxiety. It's taken over my life. I spend probably 2 hours a day worrying about my erection, I'm doomed to fail in the bedroom with the way my mind is wired right now. I don't even get pleasure out watching porn or orgasming anymore, I just use it reassure myself that I can still get hard. Sex used to be good, the last few years I think I've beaten my dick up so much that I can't feel anything, so I understand you on the numb part as well. Here's to recovery.
  5. Oberyn

    Oberyn New Fapstronaut

    I’m amazed at how similar my experience has been; no longer even enjoying porn but using it to reassure myself I can get an erection. It doesn’t even work much anymore. I’ve even questioned my own sexuality as a result. Only my morning stiffy tells me all is not lost.
  6. Oberyn

    Oberyn New Fapstronaut

    I’ve also just lapsed, 6 days into NoFap. Now beating myself up over it......
  7. Always be positive

    Always be positive Fapstronaut

  8. JesusStrength

    JesusStrength Fapstronaut

    Give you private parts a rest... I went to a Urologist today and he told me, stat away from porn..
  9. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

    And THAT (edging) is very likely to be a significant cause of your difficulty:

    Short version: DO NOT EDGE ! EVER !

    Edging is really bad. Edging trains your body and mind to expect and to need prolonged, often very intense, stimulation in order to reach O. That level of mental and physical stimulation doesn't happen with PIV relations. Guess what: when you attempt PIV, your body and mind don't receive the kind of stimulation it needs to O, instead your body responds with PIED and DE. Not good.

    Edging does NOTHING good, so stop. Easier said than done, but it is certainly NOT impossible and very much worth every bit of effort required to stop this damaging activity.

    For more information about edging, have a look at:



    If you haven't already done so, please read the "Getting Started Guide" available on this site's (noFAP) home page. It includes a lot of useful information that will help you get started on your journey of healing. Also check out the Glossary on the top of this page for definitions of abbreviations and terms that may be new to you.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.

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