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  1. 2022recovery

    2022recovery New Fapstronaut

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    This is my first post. I have used porn and masturbation around 2 times a week as long as I can remember. I have never had a problem getting an erection with my wife, and have always been able to perform. She caught me lying and using porn behind our back for our entire marriage. I am trying to reboot and only have sex with her. I haven’t looked at porn in almost three weeks and I haven’t masturbated or had an orgasm in about 9 days. Yesterday I was unable to get hard when trying to have sex with my wife. I’m very concerned about that happening but I am committed to this reboot. Has anyone had a similar experience? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
     
    Jeremy11 likes this.
  2. desmond318

    desmond318 Fapstronaut

    I am virgin and haven't experienced any erectile dysfunction. But for your information, many experienced erectile dysfunction here. It is one of the withdrawal symptoms. so don't worry about it.
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2022
    Jeremy11 likes this.
  3. It could be shame on your mind from being caught? I read that a lot of ED comes from thoughts rather than physiological changes. I remember reading that unfaithfulness leads to ED in this way, which was surprising but makes sense I guess.

    Similar to you ive had bouts of not-getting-hard despite being on a decent streak. It only ever happens with partners; if I hook up with someone short-term I dont get it. This leads me to think its a mental thing: too many thoughts in my head distracting me from being present. Girls pick up on it when you're not present and this sends alarm bells off in her, and you pick up on her alarm bells and the atmosphere dies, along with your rigidity haha. Well, this is what I figure is going on in my case, you might consider your case and ask yourself if you are being fully present or if the recent memory of 'getting caught' has been creeping into your thoughts in those moments when you should be totally focussed on the physical sensations and vibe connection you're sharing with your wife.
    Weird tip, but in my case I find bathing myself in sensations gets passed the ED-inducing overthinking somewhat. I deliberately hyper-focus on touch feeling, smells, the feeling of my muscles and posture, basically any physical sensory information that I can lock my focus onto. Mix it up and bathe in it. Maybe even ask her to do some things for you that you like the feeling of. Focus on sharing openly your heart with her and accept both of you as imperfect but fundamentally good spirits and use physical sensation to connect those spirits. Basically, get out of your head and into your body.

    This is how I get away from distracting thoughts and be present. I hope that is of some help. Happy humping~
     
  4. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    If you have been masturbating to porn 2 times a day for as long as you can remember, your body is likely going to need longer to recover. If I were you I would cut all porn and masturbation and see how you get on over 90 days. Continuing to masturbate is potentially slowing your progress. Good luck.
     
  5. kopykat

    kopykat Fapstronaut

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    His post says two times a week, not day.
     
  6. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    *two times a week

    Thanks
     

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