please change my mind

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by vercent99, Apr 15, 2021.

  1. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    for a long time i was trying to justify PMO with the idea that it will decrease the chances of me doing pre-martial sex (i want to keep it for marriage for religious reasons)

    i am on day 4, i need some motivation to change my mind about this bad viewpoint that i have, thank you. I have sexual urges and i am not married, i do not want to rush marriage for the sake of releasing sexual tension, it is immoral in my opinion, marriage should be about love, and secondly i am not ready yet for marriage in general.
     
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  2. Slimjimjones

    Slimjimjones Fapstronaut

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    What's the difference?



    At least pre marital sex is real and consenting. If it's a religious thing I'd imagine pmo is a larger sin than the other imo
     
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  3. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I was one of those who waited for religious reasons and married as a virgin at age 33. I was also into P since my teens and fapping several times a week the whole time. If I could do it over, 10 times out of 10 I would have stayed away from PMO and gotten with real women (I had opportunities but not the confidence to follow through, thanks to PMO). PMO is far more destructive unless of course you create a child you didn't want but I think you get what I'm saying.
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2021
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  4. Khan_Jee

    Khan_Jee Fapstronaut

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    im a muslim and i have to wait for marriage , 2 years since no pmo and i have already brought a storm in my home to arrange a marriage for me , while PMOing i wouldnt even think about marriage, marriage is the lawful way to have sex
     
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  5. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    Celibacy is very difficult it's not for everyone even some priests are child molesters.
    I've been a monk and also had sex with many girls. I tried as long as I could not to have sex. I realice now it was a mistake to wait so long for sex.
    Sex is not bad we make these rigid ideas in our mind about sex that are just not true.

    If you can not control your lust and you fap then celibacy is not for you. Be humble, and go have sex. Also imagine the horrors you are promoting by watching porn, you are making the girls on those movies and the men to live like that. There is a demand for porn only because there are consumers. It's awful.
    And if you just fap and no porn then you are losing energy you could share with somebody else.

    By having a girlfriend with values and that you like you create love and conection and you evolve spiritually by having sex with her.
     
  6. Khan_Jee

    Khan_Jee Fapstronaut

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    that my dear friend , is literally impossible in many muslim countries
     
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  7. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    That's hard bro
     
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  8. Hrculs

    Hrculs New Fapstronaut

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    Bro keep going don’t relapse , this is a chance in ramadan its easier to leave PMO , and I’m like you I had this idea but I changed after reading about stds and hiv , life is not about sex there other things to enjoy , this is the effect of PMO it makes you think about sex all the time.
     
  9. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    You're religious, so: do you think God prefers PMO to premarital sex? I'm pretty sure you're earning a sit in hell much faster then you would do with premarital sex.

    Now, i'm not against people who has strong religious beliefs. But if you have thoose, you got to be strong enough to respect them. PMO is THE SAME EXACT THING as premarital sex according to your religious beliefs.

    Your religious beliefs are making you a much worse person than you would be without them.

    Do youself a favour: find a woman start living free.
     
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  10. How can one be a celibate/monk but still have sex?
    If you call yourself monk or celibate then you must abstain yourself from any form of sexual activity including kissing,cuddling,fapping for that time.
     
  11. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    On separate occasions. I didn't say at the same time
     
  12. My belief is that PMO may harm you, but you do wrong to harm another woman by engaging in sex and then ending up leaving her, which is what casual sex does. It is wrong and just as damaging as PMO. Sex is not a biscuit everyone should be passing around taking a bite out of, your supposed to share the biscuit with just one other person so you share their saliva and it’s special. Do you really want some other man’s gravy on your biscuit? Come on. So I think it’s best if you get rid of the PMO habit like a man and use the sexual energy to go out and look good and act good on some dates. Im pretty sure my wife fell for me because I was retaining hardcore when we met and I was rolling on through life like a total badass. You heard it, a total badass
     
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  13. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    one's on a screen and one's in real life, masturbation itself may or not be a sin, porn is indeed a sin, but it does not take your virginity, which i believe is something that should be kept for my future wife, so it is not as big as a sin, but it is still really bad. I do not want to engage in pre marital sex.
     
  14. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    but did you marry to stop PMO? or the marriage was because u found ur love? because i do not want to marry just to release my sexual urges, i feel that's objectification for the girl, i want to marry ofcourse, but when i am ready (stable job+found the right girl)
     
  15. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    i've had a girlfriend but i was young so i didn't have any sex, this was like 6 years ago
     
  16. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    i am trying nofap since 2020 and every time i fail, i feel like i will never be able to stop until i have a wife, but i want the marriage to be natural, not to force myself into marriage just to fix my sexual urges
     
  17. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    for me, both are bad, but PMO is less worse because it is on a screen in comparison to real life. You cannot un-lose your virginity, with PMO you don't lose virginity which is something i want to keep for my future wife
     
  18. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    i agree with you, but i keep failing nofap, i am trying since 2020, even if i have a positive mindset i keep failing the mission

    i am completing some of my smaller goals that i wanted, like growing beard, fixing my teeth whiteness at dentist, etc,n but still i fall into the pmo.. i swear i am really trying but sometimes i give up
     
  19. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    You can not un-loose your virginity, but you can compromise forever your life and ruin the actual moment you'll loose your virginity. Plus, you can live a bunch of solitary and useless experiences.
     
  20. Slimjimjones

    Slimjimjones Fapstronaut

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    I guess it comes down to opinion. What's worse? Virtually beating puppies or beating the puppies yourself? One is simply more detached, yet it's still the same crime imo
     

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