Please help fast!

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by SorryWontSayIt, May 12, 2019.

  1. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut

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    Hi!

    So I have been a big unsure if I should move to an other town or not. Because of that I have been holding myself back when it comes to dating, because I don't want to get feelings for someone, or let them get feelings for me - if I move. Now I have choosen to stay.

    Two weeks ago I was at a party, and started talking some more with a girl in my class. Shes really great! One week later, I found out that she liked me on tinder. But did not talk / see her a lot last week. This weekend I was at a new party, we were a group of people playing games, so we did not sit together - so was not easy to talk to her. But everytime we laughed we were looking at eachother.

    Later that nigth me, her and two common friends went to a bar. There we talked some more, but I feel like I gave a bad impression, since I was really tierd. The two other friends of us, are a couple, and they were calling it a double date (the girl in the couple, are the bestfriend of the girl I like). So I am pretty sure they have talked about me during the nigth since they often went to the bathroom together. (Also the girl in the couple, are also one of my bestfriends).

    During the time, there also came up a dude who first tried to hit on our friend, but her boyfriend was there. Later the same dude tried to hit on the girl I like. He started to ask if we were a couple. She said no, but when she said it she looked me in the eyes for a very long time. The dude also figured that I really liked her, and poked me and whispered and asked if I liked her. And she was sitting in the middle of us (but we talked low, not sure if she heard what we were talking about). He told me that I needed to "start working" if I wanted to keep her, if not he would try. But she was not intrested at all. At the same time, he asked her if she wanted to go to a party with him, but she said no. While saying no she was again staring at me, and gave me a little smile.

    (The couple also started to ask me about my dating life after I moved to this town. Wether I used tinder or not. I told them that I have not been dating lately, and did not want to, until I had choosen to stay in the town or move. They fully understood that, but now I have decided to stay).

    Later that nigth we all went for some food, and walked home. All 4 gave eachother a hug when leaving eachother, but me and the girl I liked had a little bit longer to walk. When we were saying goodbye, she gave me a "strong" hug, but it was not too long and said have a good sleep.

    Today we have not talked to much. Sent her a snapchat which she responed to.

    The reason why I am asking for help, is because we are going to class together. We also have common friends. I am really scared to fuck it up, and make it difficult to go to class later, or destroy my friendship with the others.

    At the same time, I am afraid she lost intrest last nigth since I did not try harder. I felt it is pretty was pretty clear. But I am so afraid to fuck up, both for school and friendship.

    Should I try liking her back on tinder? And see what she responds to it? And ask if she wants to hangout later this next week? Or should I leave it alone, when it is so much to lose.

    Will be really unsure how to act during school the next days. Also the whole class is going to a dinner soon, and a party next weekend. Afraid it will be weird. No matter the result.

    Tips?

    Thanks for all help, sorry the thread is long.
     
  2. Jmc41202

    Jmc41202 Fapstronaut

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    Don’t let fear of loosing her hold you back from trying to get her. All guys have go e through something similar. My advice is you can’t worry about what other people will think about you if it doesn’t work out, you should look at the positives of your situation and shoot your shot. It sounds like she really likes you and you will do great! Best of luck I know things will work out for you!
     
    SorryWontSayIt likes this.
  3. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the reply!

    I was wondering about one more thing. After school, I use to talk back home with our common friend (her bestfriend), should I talk to her about it tomorrow? Or should I just go for it today? Or talk to our friend, and tell her what I think, and ask the girl I like tomorrow?

    Would be nice in a way to clear things out, and tell that I hope I don't fuck up anything, and hope things will be the same no matter what the outcome is. I understand that since they are bestfriends, that they will probably talk about it, but would feel a bit better too.

    I also consider just to like her on tinder (since I know that shes liked me) and ask her out there - ask if she wants to hangout later this week).
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2019
  4. Jmc41202

    Jmc41202 Fapstronaut

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    You gotta do what you’ve gotta do, it talking to her friend makes you feel more comfortable about the situation then do that. But what I find most useful is if I just do something out of my comfort zone without giving myself time to think myself out of it, hope this helps
     
  5. Marik757

    Marik757 Fapstronaut

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    I'll be honest... you fucked up... This whole paragraph rubs me the wrong way and I'm surprised it's not the eye opener for you for what is really going on.

    From what I'm reading I think you lost your chance with her. Even worse is because you were with another couple (friends) who was calling it an double date. But it's lesson learned I guess.

    The girl you liked used the situation as an shit test to guage your interest.

    The girl you liked said you werent an couple, and stared at you. It was an honest answer, but you did nothing to get the dude away from her to show you were interested in her.

    "We're not a official couple 'yet', but were here on an double date." Would had been enough to get the guy to back off.

    Because you did nothing this gave the guy the greenlight to do whatever he wanted now.

    It turned worse when he poked you and asked you personally if you liked her. I'm not sure what you said, or if you tried to become friendly with him. But what he said was right that you needed to start working or he will try.

    Yet you believed... She wouldnt be interested in him and just sat there an did nothing?

    So he tried indeed... by trying to steal her away from you and your group by asking her to with him to an party. She said no, and stared at you again. And you did nothing...

    For future reference those stares were an "Help! Get this guy away from me!"

    At the end of the night when the girl you liked hugged you said "have an good sleep." She meant it...

    I can relate to it because I was in your shoes in an similar situation many years ago. I did nothing and she friendzoned me when I told her my feelings an few days later.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2019
  6. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut

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    Thanks I guess I needed to hear that even tho it was not what I wanted.

    I personally would felt weird about saying that we are not a official couple yet, since this was the first time we really showed any intrest in person to eachother (even tho I should have done more).

    When the dude poked me and asked me, I told him that I was intrested but had been in a difficult spot since I was unsure if I were moving or not.

    Maybe she lost interest in me, when I did not do anything to stop him, but I don't belive he was her type. He was more just looking for sex.

    I guess I failed a lot during that nigth. And I can't do something about it. I guess I will give it one more shot, and ask if shes interested in a date with just the two of us, and not some sort of double date. Because on a "first date" or if this was it, I don't like too many other peoples around. I will try ask her in person tomorrow. If shes doesnt accept my invitation, I guess I just have to learn from it.
     
    Jmc41202 likes this.
  7. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut

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    Good news! Today my class was out eating together at a resturant. After the resturant I walked home with the girl I like and her friend. Me and the girl I liked had as last time a little bit longer to walk. So I asked her out on a date just the two of us! So I don't have to be on any double date or anything. And she said yes! :)

    I don't know if it will work out, but now I can at least be happy that I have pushed myself to do it. It feels fucking great to atleast have given it a try. And in two days we have a date! :)
     
    justafriend likes this.

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