Please help: foot femdom fetish ~~~~ * Possibly triggering text ! *

Today went well again went for a run and worked out, gonna go for a bike ride later. Still some depressing thoughts but not letting those take me over probably gonna get into meditating as well.

 

we still going strong more working out and meditating. Still conditioning myself also trying to become an athlete by the end of summer so I can get back into Football. Today was pretty wild I was holding back the urge to bust one so hard it wanted to come out so bad and I wasn't watching anything so I had to go for a run to get my mind off everything. But I didnt I am not gonna let myself relapse unless it is something vanilla related nothing weird and extreme.

 

ye to be honest Its not the foot fetish im worried about, its the femdom and the fact that I was only jerking off to that for 7 years disgusts me, and that I've only conditioned my brain to get aroused by that.

 

Thank you, I hope I am not asexual. I know I cannot say I am until I've gone a few months off porn. I hope I will start liking intercourse but only time will tell and hard work.

 

I dont know how deep I am into nofap dont really care still dont plan on ever fapping to femdom porn again. Sometimes I get thoughts but I get rid of them as fast as possible. Still going outside working out (I got way stronger in the past 2 weeks, built a lot of muscle) . Trying to find new things and discover my true self but its been really hard during the quarantine as I cannot hang out with friends or socialize with pretty much anyone other than neighbor whenever I sneak out. Still have some urges occasionally but not that much and when I do I fight them off.

 

30 days in not much to say just going day by day until I get my vanilla tastes, I think I could probably just bust one with just my hand but only 30 days after 7 years of fapping to foot femdom lol so I did not expect results instantly.

 

amen brother I love that last sentence a lot beacause ive read a lot of a stories and the ones that fail are the ones that get addicted to normal porn so they go back to their old ways. If I do get back into vanilla stuff I only plan on doing it twice a week max. But I feel you its not a problem untill thats the only thing that gets you turned on and it I am glad I noticed now and Im doing this now and not when I go to college.

 

Its definitely way easier since were all quarantined but I am not seeing any girls. Its been like 50 days since ive been out in public because of this corona stuff 31 days I think or 32 days into nofap still gonna go for as long as I need to.

 

got some bad news. I relapsed today to foot femdom by choice but I will not let it happen again I just wanted to see something. Ever since starting nofap I have been getting HOCD thoughts because ive never masturbated to vanilla sex. Those thoughts started to eat me alive and its weird because Ive never watched gay porn before and whenever I hear it I just cringe. But never fapping to vanilla stuff and only femdom really makes this hard. I am not going to fap again this was just an experiment I was totally able to control it but I was just testing to see that I still get turned on by stuff but definitely should have not used my femdom shit but I am not gonna watch it again. 1 relapse thats all im allowing. I just really want to start liking sex like I do femdom that is my goal. I really feel like if I had my father alive to tell me about sex and girls and stuff I would have went a whole different path. I also think those HOCD thoughts came because I am quarantined and literally have not seen a girl IRL in like 50 days. I am gonna get back on nofap path this time with no relapses.

 

Im back on nofap but HOCD is starting to come with it. I am really starting to question my sexuality just because I am not interested in real sex and these thoughts are ass I am going to continue nofap but Im pretty sure its just my brain fighting me. The HOCD thoughts are coming strong every day. This might be from quarantine because I haven't seen a girl IRL in like 50 days. Ive only seen guys but the thing is before nofap I never had these thoughts ever. I was only fapping to foot femdom and thats all I thought about. Now on nofap Im like what if my sexuality changes on nofap. I read all the symptoms and I have them all currently I am just overthinking too much because it is quarantine and I have nothing to do Ive been going outside but recently the thoughts have been eating me outside. I try so hard to resist something that isnt true like what.

 

But I always have found girls hot af and had so many crushes and fell in love so many times with a girl. Before all this I would never get any bad thoughts when hanging out with the guys I would always look forward to it now whenever I see a guy Im like so do I like guys or girls because I dont even know. I know this is the lowest point in my life, hopefully I can dig myself out. I just need to realize I am not my thoughts but that is hard to realize when your thoughts eat you alive.

 

relapsed again to femdom. Still get HOCD thoughts whenever I watch any video with a guy in it its stupid it can be anything just my brain wants me to have a bad time for some reason and its hard to fight that voice. I am going to start the streak tomorrow and not let myself relapse this time.

 

tbh I get more head fantasy than porn and whenever I get a head fantasy thought it automatically makes me hard.

 

but I watch porn in order to create the fantasies so your definitely right just I on nofap for some reason I try so hard to resist a boner to everything just because I think im always horny even tho I might not be.