Please Help I'm In Dead Stress

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by YoungGunner00, Jun 17, 2020.

  1. YoungGunner00

    YoungGunner00 Fapstronaut

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    So Here's My Life Story I Was Very Sexually Active In My Childhood. I got introduced to porn when i was 10-11 i was excessively watching porn since then of its not porn i imagine myself having sex with a girl. When i was 11-12 years old i used watch porn in male cousin's home cuz he had internet connection by that time he was 8-9. We used to watch porn together i remember one time when i want to ejaculate i used my cousin's hand to do that. But i was watching straight porn, and then my aunt forces us to bath together i i even masturbate while bathing but there was no romance or attraction or i never tried to fuck him and anything else. We used to think about girls. Then i got to meet a girl in that phase whom I'd made out with nothing else i got attracted with her. Then i stopped masturbating or watching porn with him because it didn't felt right. I was a kid back then i didn't what gay or what straight was. Then after a year so i made out with another girl in a marriage and the list goes on and on. I was overthinking and some memories got me in anxiety like with a neighbor i forced him to suck my dick then i i regretted it afterwards but i didn't forced myself to like girls. I didn't forced anything in my life. I regret doing some the gayish things in my life and i get flashbacks of it. Since when i got little mature i got attracted to girls. Now i have a girlfriend whom i love so much and I'm dealing with hocd and flashbacks. What are your thoughts about this? Am i bisexual or i was just a sexually aroused kid.
     
  2. MrAlkali

    MrAlkali Fapstronaut

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    it doesnt seem that you are bisexual maybe just a lil curious as a kid. If you regret it and dont like it then youre pretty straight to me.
     
  3. Crux647

    Crux647 New Fapstronaut

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    I have a similar story. I discovered porn at age 9 and since then had been masturbating daily for a lot of years and escalated for hardcore stuff very fast. When I was 12, I was at a male friend house and he started touching me and I allowed it because I was kind of hypersexual. Its like I only wanted to ejaculate. This happened like 4 or 5 times. I never feel any kind of attraction or whatever. I think porn fuck ups children head and corrupt normal sexuality development. I also touched a girl who was 2-3 years younger than me when I was 13-14. This happened like 3 or 4 times. I have always identified as straight and have girlfriends. I am dating a girl right now and I love her and have very good sex but sometimes I wonder why the fuck I had that experiences with my friend.
     
  4. You are not weird or strange. You had some experiences that probably should not have happened (maybe lack of supervision) but they are not your fault. You did nothing wrong. Sexual arousal begins at very young ages.
    But I think you feel some regret and shame. That's fine and understandable. But don't let it define you or cause you to feel bad.
    You may think about talking to a therapist someday - not because you need curing, nothing like that. But if you hear yourself speaking about it you can understand it better.
    For a little while when I was about 13 I felt I was gay because I had attractions to some of my friends. Well, it went away. But I wasn't worried about it. If I was gay, I was gay. So what? I do not think you are. And a lot of straight men fantasize about gay sex.
    And get this - the #1 choice for girls who watch porn is lesbian porn.
    You seem like a very nice person.
     

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