Please help me, I don't know what to do!

M

MLMM

Fapstronaut
Hi, I'm new here, but I have 7 days now without PMO, my current goal is to left behind all P and M (by my own hand) be cause it had brought bad things into my life and my relationship.. But the thing is I started 7 days a go but before that I failed 3 times at having sex with my SO .. We aren't very communicative and she knows something superficial about what I'm growing trough, these days I have been trying to describe her what this is and she have taken it good as far as I know, her main worries if is my problems is be cause of her (like if I ain't attracted to her o that she doesn't turn me on) but is not like that be cause when we kissing I get a full erection, but in the moment I put it out o try to put it in I instantly lose the hardness... The thing is she have been telling me that she wants to feel me,in others words she want to fuck.. And I thinking about taking one pill for ED at least for pleasing her one day..

But the problems is today we argued be cause some months a go she discovered that I was taking these pills (not always but kinda often) so I can have a good session with her, and I think she now is aware of the secondary symptoms of taking these kind of pills (like redness in the face, being abnormally hot, nose, etc)

And all this thing got me depressed and anxious right now, I don't really know what to do, I don't want to tell her no, but I don't want her also to notice that I took one of these pills be cause we are going trough a been honest process
 
MLMM said:
I thinking about taking one pill for ED at least for pleasing her one day..
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Stop taking those pills! You are becoming dependent on them. I used to take them when I would meet a new girl to prove to her what a big shot I am, sure it worked but then I had to keep taking them.

If you are hooked slowly wean yourself off but NEVER take them again after that.

Your normal hard erections will slowly come back one week at a time...
 
Deep inside myself I know I shouldn't be taking those pills, but the thing is I'm really afraid o pf losing it again while I try since it have happened the last 3 times in a row and the last time she got really upset.. Men been honest I'm really desperated right now, be cause we are supposed to give a try tomorrow. She have been more or less craving for it these days.. And I don't want to left her horny once again...

Besides that I have been taking L-Arginine but not the amount enough to see results that is 5g daily, and I'm thinking about givin Horny Goat Weed, Panax Ginseng or Maca a try to see long terms improvements and help the PIED process to heal faster.

Give me some options please..
 
MLMM said:
I'm really afraid of losing it again while I try since it have happened the last 3 times in a row and the last time she got really upset..
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She should be more understanding of the situation. If you feel you need to take the pill still, at least wean yourself off. Take half or a quarter of the dose the next few times and then NEVER again...

I am so much more confident now that I can keep a hard erection without a pill.

I was hooked for awhile...
 
I have ED but it's medication induced. Watching porn just makes it worse but it's not the main cause. It's years of anti depressants. The pills don't work for me but that happens with lots of guys. You could go hard mode for a year and still not have a good enough erection for sex depending on the severity of the PIED. If your partner thinks any outside help for ED is wrong she will probably never be happy.
 
I believe my ED is PIED and it can be healed with time, my relationship is #1 priority in my life, I'm doing this first for me and then for the relationship I want in log term.. But we gotta be honest, she have been approximately one month without having any kind of intercourse with me (at least a successful one) and I wish give it to her, so it'll easier for her to keep supporting me..

To help me to heal faster I been taking the L-Arginine and I'm looking forward to start taking ginseng, I also have a clean diet and started sound serious gym routines..

So this time taking a pill would just be a sacrifice for her or an exception..

So, what do you guys think
 
My advice is to be completely honest with her. Tell her you know you have screwed up your system with both porn and pills and that you want to recover so that you can satisfy her fully in the way she wants. Tell her that it may take a while for you to reach that goal and ask her to be patient. Commit to quitting PMO completely. [Why is your streak 0?] Say that while you are in recovery you want to explore other ways to satisfy her other than PIV (oral, toys, hands etc.)

ANH
 
I would reboot along with taking the L Arginine with the only exception being sex with her. So complete hard mode minus intercourse with your wife. Is that workable?
 
anewhope said:
[Why is your streak 0?] Say that while you are in recovery you want to explore other ways to satisfy her other than PIV (oral, toys, hands etc.)
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Lots of truth in this post. ALWAYS satisfy your women first with oral or something before full intercourse and she will never be dissatisfied. Glad I learned this at an early age...

AND STOP PMO
 
Not sure that goes for 100% of women, 100% of the time, but thanks for the endorsement in any case!
ANH
 
ValueLiberty said:
Lots of truth in this post. ALWAYS satisfy your women first with oral or something before full intercourse and she will never be dissatisfied. Glad I learned this at an early age...

AND STOP PMO
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From experience i wouldnt be satisfied with just oral and toys. One its almost impossible for me to cum from oral alone. And using toys for me is suppose to be an appetizer not the main course. Having normal penetration sex is for pleasure but also an intimacy things as well. And it helps to make the woman feel desired and wanted and when a man cant get up for you it makes us feel terrible and unwanted. I know from first hand experience since its something i am going through at the moment.
 
Angelus6698 said:
From experience i wouldnt be satisfied with just oral and toys. One its almost impossible for me to cum from oral alone. And using toys for me is suppose to be an appetizer not the main course. Having normal penetration sex is for pleasure but also an intimacy things as well. And it helps to make the woman feel desired and wanted and when a man cant get up for you it makes us feel terrible and unwanted. I know from first hand experience since its something i am going through at the moment.
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It is difficult for both partners - the woman feels unsexy, unloved, unwanted - he feels a failure as a man and you tend to reinforce each other's negative feelings. The more you focus on the problem the more difficult it becomes to solve. Taking the penis out of the equation for a while may help by reducing the pressure to perform.

ANH
 
anewhope said:
It is difficult for both partners - the woman feels unsexy, unloved, unwanted - he feels a failure as a man and you tend to reinforce each other's negative feelings. The more you focus on the problem the more difficult it becomes to solve. Taking the penis out of the equation for a while may help by reducing the pressure to perform.

ANH
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I've tried that but didnt work either. How long do you think it is acceptable for a woman who really wants to have sex with her boyfriend to accept that she wont be getting any sex?
 
Hi Angelus6698,

I think you and I have very different views on this. Happy to discuss on your thread if it would be helpful to you, but I don't think it would be helpful to MMLM to do it here.

ANH
 
Hi everybody, want to say thanks for the given support on that day, even tough I haven't been able to comment again (hard days) I want to update that everything went right that day but a day after I relapsed... I discovered that every time I get seriously mad or really sad I succumb to PMO.. And been honest I'm having a hard time on my relationship no only be cause of the PIED problem but some other things... And the things is I continued relapsing all this week and I feel fucking terrible, alone and sad.. If someone can make a commitment post (a challenge) and invite me for daily commenting on that post it would be AWESOME and I would be grateful.

Preferable someone with experience in relationship and some woman's could be in also so they can voice their point of view as woman's ..


Thanks you all for everything..
 
All the advice you get here won't help unless you yourself make a commitment to quit PMO and start building that streak. You are not getting off the starting blocks. Aim for a first streak of at least 7 days. Avoid your triggers. Make a list of other things you can do instead so you can distract yourself and take your mind and your hands off your dick.

ANH
 
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