Please help me

T

Theworthywait

Fapstronaut
Hey Guys! I've been having a severe addiction to porn and masturbation since i was about 19 years old, i'm turning 23 and have been trying to quit this shit after having masturbated to porn since i was 11. Back then it was an amazing rush, and just like a drug i just wanted more and more and more until i got hooked.

I'm so sick and tired of myself, i feel so pathetic for not being able to properly speak to girls without having in mind that i want to be in bed with them. I feel like a psychopath for always having dirty thoughts in my mind even though somewhere, deep in my brain, i know it's wrong.

I feel so lost about this, i can't motivate myself enough to stop it cause my mind is telling me to go watch porn every. single. time. i'm restless. My friends have girlfriends while i have a very rough time getting in a close relationship with girls. I'm longing for that special connection with a real person, laughing and hanging out with them having fun, without any dirty thoughts every once in a while. I also long for a connection with someone who understands me about this particular topic since i really want to stop this addicition.
Every time i'm done watching porn and masturbated i feel disgusted and start thinking of how i could have been as a person, and how this drug is really keeping me in a ritual misery, i'm fearful that this hellhole will be for life if i don't find people that can help me and motivate me on my journey.
I'm fearful for what my future has in stock for me if i don't quit.

I'm a student and can't afford therapists or anything, that's why i'm reaching out to you guys, to find a helping hand that will lead me through- and out this hellhole i've/we've put ourselves in. Let us help each other.

Our porn addiction and this masturbation-addiction needs to end, NOW, TODAY.
I'm going to do an (every 2-3- days) update on how my days have been, as soon as i feel the urge to masturbate i will come here to read and motivate myself not to. My personal journey starts now, and i hope to meet you on my way.
Together we can do this.
 
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Dont worry man, we are all here for the same reason, trying to eliminate porn from our lives once and for all, but its hard, to let go something that we have been addicted to for so long.
Ive been watching porn for way more than 10 years of my life, thousands of hours wasted watching, downloading porn movies, that just messed up my brain and my life.

Together we can do this, after Ive began to follow this forum and read many stories, I feel really motivated to go on.

I havent watched and masturbated to porn for 4 days in a row now, last time that I spent so much time without porn was... man I dont even remember!
 
thanks for sharing, it really means a lot to me.
Small steps will make a big change, day by day.
Let stick to our goals together and overcome this problem. Good job on making it to 4 days, let me know how it's going every once in a while
 
Today is my 6th "clean" day,so I know how heavy is to start,but dont give up! Its extremely hard,and an everyday fight,but I know we are gonna make it,and get rid of P once and for all.
 
We're all here for the same thing - tired of wasting time, feeling lost in relationships, drawn into the world of PMO.

That you took the effort to find this site and post is a GREAT step! Now it's important for you to start with yourself. At our foundations we are all GOOD and DECENT. I use to feel pathetic about myself, but found that feeling a primary cause of my acting out. Take a while to do things (other than porn) that you like to do, be kind to yourself in thought, words and deeds. If you are a person of the Christian faith, contact a religious leader and share your situation with them. If you attend a university, check into the counseling center. If you follow an eastern philosophy, read up on Buddhist psychology (look into The Wise Heart by Jack Kornfield). Pray and meditation are only good if you let go of self-judgment, so we're back to being good to yourself.

I found this site a little less than a month ago. I relapsed after 20 days. But, like a lot of guys here who relapse, I just rebooted. We learn each time we reboot. For me, what I found is that I was obsessing about staying clean. I was checking this site three, four, six times a day. Didn't do any good because I felt I traded one obsession for another. Then it hit me... there were hours, even days that went by when porn never crossed my mind. I paid attention to those times and I felt NORMAL. So, now I try to focus on what it feels like to be normal. When an urge comes up, when I see an attractive woman anywhere (TV, street, store), I ask myself, "do I feel normal right now?" If the answer is "no", I go back to what I was doing (being entertained, driving, shopping) and the urge drifts away.

You are on the right path, man, the right path! But this isn't a paved walk through Central Park, Bro. You will start and fail, you will pick yourself up more times than you want. The important thing is NOT TO SHAME yourself when you do, because shame starts the cycle over. Hug yourself, be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, and find yourself, find the "normal" inside and walk that path.

Peace!
 
You're on the right track! From my experience you have to reach a point that you decide to fully commit to be done. A realization that this addiction is so harmful and toxic that you refuse to go back no matter how fast or real your desired results of not using PMO come. I had to reach that point and then hold fast to the vision I am reaching for. A healthy sexual perspective. Real fulfilling sex with my wife. Freedom from guilt and shame. Life that is not consumed with secrets and darkness. 29 days ago I decided... This MUST stop! I will move forward!
You can too! I'm still early in my journey but have really been blessed by this shift. I was exposed to porn at age 5 and have had such a broken sexual outlook and practice for so long and I am thankful I am starting to believe I may be able to be free.
 
Yeah. I fucking feel the same way bro. It hurts. I am on a level worse than you. I dont even want to have sex with girls I see anymore. I watch perverted porn and its the only thing that arouses me anymore, im at a really low point. Also a student. Cant concentrate.

I just decided to give up porn forever today. I hope you decide the same. Lets go all the way pal. you and me.
 
Rocket Mode said:
Yeah. I fucking feel the same way bro. It hurts. I am on a level worse than you. I dont even want to have sex with girls I see anymore. I watch perverted porn and its the only thing that arouses me anymore, im at a really low point. Also a student. Cant concentrate.

I just decided to give up porn forever today. I hope you decide the same. Lets go all the way pal. you and me.
Click to expand...

Man i relate to this SO MUCH! It has come to a point where i know that if i take any steps further with a girl i connect with, i will make a fool out of myself in bed since i have erectile dysfunction. Even though i'm anonymous at this forum i still feel ashamed for actually writing this.

Fuck all these demons persuading us to do shit we know will make it worse. It'll be tough, but with guys like you on my journey i feel stronger than ever to go all the way. I'm determined to be the best me there can be, and i'm glad you're doing the same bro!
 
FreeME456 said:
You're on the right track! From my experience you have to reach a point that you decide to fully commit to be done. A realization that this addiction is so harmful and toxic that you refuse to go back no matter how fast or real your desired results of not using PMO come. I had to reach that point and then hold fast to the vision I am reaching for. A healthy sexual perspective. Real fulfilling sex with my wife. Freedom from guilt and shame. Life that is not consumed with secrets and darkness. 29 days ago I decided... This MUST stop! I will move forward!
You can too! I'm still early in my journey but have really been blessed by this shift. I was exposed to porn at age 5 and have had such a broken sexual outlook and practice for so long and I am thankful I am starting to believe I may be able to be free.
Click to expand...

I'm longing for this to happen to me too and i'm glad you're leading the way for beginners like me. You're story inspires me, keep up the good work. Let's turn this darkness to light and happiness man. I'm cheering for you all
 
IncenseCedar said:
We're all here for the same thing - tired of wasting time, feeling lost in relationships, drawn into the world of PMO.

That you took the effort to find this site and post is a GREAT step! Now it's important for you to start with yourself. At our foundations we are all GOOD and DECENT. I use to feel pathetic about myself, but found that feeling a primary cause of my acting out. Take a while to do things (other than porn) that you like to do, be kind to yourself in thought, words and deeds. If you are a person of the Christian faith, contact a religious leader and share your situation with them. If you attend a university, check into the counseling center. If you follow an eastern philosophy, read up on Buddhist psychology (look into The Wise Heart by Jack Kornfield). Pray and meditation are only good if you let go of self-judgment, so we're back to being good to yourself.

I found this site a little less than a month ago. I relapsed after 20 days. But, like a lot of guys here who relapse, I just rebooted. We learn each time we reboot. For me, what I found is that I was obsessing about staying clean. I was checking this site three, four, six times a day. Didn't do any good because I felt I traded one obsession for another. Then it hit me... there were hours, even days that went by when porn never crossed my mind. I paid attention to those times and I felt NORMAL. So, now I try to focus on what it feels like to be normal. When an urge comes up, when I see an attractive woman anywhere (TV, street, store), I ask myself, "do I feel normal right now?" If the answer is "no", I go back to what I was doing (being entertained, driving, shopping) and the urge drifts away.

You are on the right path, man, the right path! But this isn't a paved walk through Central Park, Bro. You will start and fail, you will pick yourself up more times than you want. The important thing is NOT TO SHAME yourself when you do, because shame starts the cycle over. Hug yourself, be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, and find yourself, find the "normal" inside and walk that path.

Peace!
Click to expand...

Yeah man it'll be tough but with stories like yours, that you just shared, really means a lot to me. Being a part of this forum really makes me happy and i have never been this motivated and determined. After so many relapses, dwelling and being anxious i'm done with artificial plastic bullshit porn. I want real company and love and I'm ready to give this a fight, and i'm so happy that you're sharing your advice to me. I will definetly take this with me!
 
Thought i'd give you guys an update of what's happening. So my first 5 days of nofap i felt like a fucking GOD! Nothing could possibly stop me. But the last two days i feel like my libido is close to zero, my dick is just lifeless all of a sudden. (Is this was flat line is?) i still have trouble fantasizing about girls i met before, but i have since the start of my nofap journey NEVER even thought about watching porn or think about it which is crazy!

I still feel really excited for what's next.. what is the next benefit or next tough challenge that i face.. cause right now i'm still very pumped and i'm ready to face any inner demons that are willing to give the "good" me a fight against the PMO addiction.

I feel like i have started a new chapter in my life, a chapter that i don't want to throw away. I'm gonna keep building up this new healthy lifestyle and keep looking forward. It's not about the numbers, fuck the numbers! I'm doing this to become a better me.
Thank you for reading this, and i'm rooting for all of you that are fighting your bad habits. Peace!
 
Check out my journal and other content if you ever need motivation and tips to succeed. It's a very hard battle to overcome but pushing beyond your breaking point is the best thing you can ever do to help your future self. The need for P&M is not something that should dictate your life. You have the ability to succeed and move forward!
 
Theworthywait said:
Hey Guys! I've been having a severe addiction to porn and masturbation since i was about 19 years old, i'm turning 23 and have been trying to quit this shit after having masturbated to porn since i was 11. Back then it was an amazing rush, and just like a drug i just wanted more and more and more until i got hooked.

I'm so sick and tired of myself, i feel so pathetic for not being able to properly speak to girls without having in mind that i want to be in bed with them. I feel like a psychopath for always having dirty thoughts in my mind even though somewhere, deep in my brain, i know it's wrong.

I feel so lost about this, i can't motivate myself enough to stop it cause my mind is telling me to go watch porn every. single. time. i'm restless. My friends have girlfriends while i have a very rough time getting in a close relationship with girls. I'm longing for that special connection with a real person, laughing and hanging out with them having fun, without any dirty thoughts every once in a while. I also long for a connection with someone who understands me about this particular topic since i really want to stop this addicition.
Every time i'm done watching porn and masturbated i feel disgusted and start thinking of how i could have been as a person, and how this drug is really keeping me in a ritual misery, i'm fearful that this hellhole will be for life if i don't find people that can help me and motivate me on my journey.
I'm fearful for what my future has in stock for me if i don't quit.

I'm a student and can't afford therapists or anything, that's why i'm reaching out to you guys, to find a helping hand that will lead me through- and out this hellhole i've/we've put ourselves in. Let us help each other.

Our porn addiction and this masturbation-addiction needs to end, NOW, TODAY.
I'm going to do an (every 2-3- days) update on how my days have been, as soon as i feel the urge to masturbate i will come here to read and motivate myself not to. My personal journey starts now, and i hope to meet you on my way.
Together we can do this.
Click to expand...
Dont feel bad for having thoughts man, everyone has disgusting thoughts like that, difference is some dont act upon them and some do. Even people who dont watch porn have thoughts going on somewhere in their heads weather its thier conscious or subconscious
 
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