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Please help - need advice + tips

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by luke775, Mar 11, 2021.

  1. luke775

    luke775 Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,

    I've been doing nofap for a long time now with many relapses and my longest streak is about 40 days. I've fallen downhill lately, really downhill. I got back into my old habits over the past few weeks and started to go down the dark dark rabbithole of porn. Luckily, this only lasted a few weeks before I realised I need to get it together and return back to nofap.

    I really miss being on a long streak. The confidence, the positivity/optimism, less anxiety, and just having a better outlook on life. At the moment, I feel guilty, anxious, and depressed. I want to feel how I use to. I don't want to be a slave to PMO, I want to have real feelings, real dreams/ambitions and a real connection with a girl. I'm sure most of you reading this know what I mean.

    I'm struggling to get back into a nofap streak and usually only last a few days before seeing a slight trigger and giving in. I used to be great at this but even just a few weeks of constant porn use has made it harder for me to resist it. If anyone has been in a similar position or just has any advice please share it! Any help is appreciated. Even if you just want to share how you feel (if you're on a streak) and list some of your benefits so far. Or if you have any practical advice for me to get back on track. It's all appreciated and thanks in advance for helping me out! I'm excited to become myself again :)
     
    AversioN likes this.
  2. AversioN

    AversioN Fapstronaut

    Hey first of, be optmistic. Don't doubt yourself. There are people addicted to porn for more than 20-30 years and they managed to recover and I'm sure you will as well. So just know that there is hope.

    So, as you asked, here are some tips that WILL help you in this journey :

    1. Daily Meditation

    2. Intense Workout

    3. Cold Shower

    4. Keep a journal

    5. Get outside more often, spend more time with real people


    6. Engage yourself in creative activities more

    7.
    Get an Accountability partner

    8.
    Learn more about the negative consequences of watching porn. 'Your brain on Porn' by Gary Wilson is a good start.

    9. Keep yourself inspired. Read people's success stories and their journals from NoFap site.

    10. Make a healthy diet.

    11. Make an habit of reading books

    12. Watch more NoFap videos on youtube. ***, SANQ4, Seth Alexander, GoldJacketLuke, Porn Brain reboot Dr Trish Leigh, Universal Man, The Reboot Nation, Noah B.E. Church and so on.


    In this journey, failures are bound to come. Be gentle with yourself. Giving up the intense stimulation of regular porn use is a big shift for your brain. It's best to ease your way through the transition, forgive yourself if you slip, and keep going until you get where you want to be. Think of snowboarding or surfboarding. Stay flexible. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. The worst thing you can do on this journey is doing NoFap with half-assed motivation and then regret for failing. Remember, your brain will do anything to get that neurochemical flood in your brain. But you gotta hold tight. You're most vulnerable when you're feeling stressed, depressed, inferior, bored and so on. Basically, any negative emotions. Don't use porn to escape your emotions & feelings. Learn to embrace those emotions like a Man and try to figure out what's causing it. And lastly, don't let the recovery process take on your life. Don't get desperate for results. Just live your life and enjoy. Life will throw enough tragedies in your way, so no need to create more by indulging in an addiction. Stay strong, stay clean!

     
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2021
    Claune, AngryBuddha159357 and luke775 like this.
  3. luke775

    luke775 Fapstronaut

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    Wow this was really helpful. Thanks for taking the time to leave such a detailed comment. I'll be sure to slowly implement some of these ideas one by one as to not put too much pressure on myself, I seem to slip when I go too hard. Thanks again, I appreciate it!
     
    AversioN likes this.
  4. AversioN

    AversioN Fapstronaut

  5. A8X

    A8X Fapstronaut

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    That's a great list of tips! I will give only one, but it is important. It has been the main cause for breaking my longer streaks: Triggers. Be highly aware of them and use every means you have to avoid them. It is not always as obvious as looking at pretty girls, it can be something internal like HALT (Hungry Angry Lonely Tired). As our brain detox from porn, it becomes more sensitive and proper self care is key to avoid relapse.
     
    AversioN likes this.
  6. everydayitgetseasier

    everydayitgetseasier Fapstronaut

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    If you keep getting to around day 40 the flatline is your enemy, focus all of your research on that, that is the hardest part of the battle but at that point every day that you conquer the next will get easier. You get to know that tomorrow will be easier. Why should be weak enough to relapse today if I fought through yesterday? ask yourself that question every single day, then at day 40 you will know how many of your hardest days are behind you, and how prepared for the easier days tomorrow you are. KEEP PUSHING. If you made it that far you've made it inside the belly of the beast, once you are there, the instant way out by relapsing seems like the best option, but really you are already past the biggest hump and if you continue it will be way better than where you will be if you relapse.
     
    AversioN likes this.

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