My partner and I have just discovered the reboot program and this is the only place that has given us some hope. But I need some partner support from you ladies because I feel so lonely with this. I haven't told any of my real time friends due to embarrassment but mainly, to keep my partner's dignity. Here's a little background: I met my partner 3 years ago and he is a wonderful man. However, it transpires he was addicted to M & P before we met and thus, has always suffered with impotency. To complicate things further, he had come out of a 10 year abusive marriage where sex was withheld from him and he turned to P on the quiet. When we first got together, I told him that watching porn would be a deal-breaker as I do consider it cheating and, if he can't make love to me, but can cum over some poor, lost naked woman, that I'd have to protect myself and back out of the relationship. He promised he would stop. Fast forward nearly 2 years and he's still impotent. I attributed it to the bad marriage and was so very patient. I gave him massages, dressed up for him, told him that intimacy is more important than penetration, that he will stay hard...eventually etc. We've tried touch therapy, couples counselling and his own private counselling - to no avail. Eventually I built up the courage and asked him if he was still using porn and he admitted he was. That was the closest I came to walking. Things were okay for a couple of months we had amazing sex and I thought it was over. However, it's slipped back to ED. He admits to masturbating which I said was fine (I know different now, thanks to this site) but insists he's not using porn and hasn't since a year ago. Like I said, he is a wonderful man. He has seen me through my recovery of alcoholism (6m sober now), hospitalisation, moving home and treats my child like his own. We moved in together last year and we're engaged although no date set. He's 2 weeks into the reboot program and has been open with me about getting frustrated, waking up with erections determined not to M etc. and I am very proud of him. My problem is that I feel like it's my fault really. I do not have a perfect porn-star body and I started to stop looking at myself naked because self-hate comes up everytime ("Of course he's not going to be turned on by THAT!" or "THAT'S the reason he goes elsewhere.") He's constantly telling me he finds me sexy, he buys me flowers at random and swears he's always found me attractive. He is the kindest man I've ever known and we've been through so much together in 3 years. There are 2 things I want feedback from though, please: 1) Is it common for the partner to believe it's her fault? Because she's 'not enough' for him? 2) Should we postpone the wedding until this is sorted out? I have already told him I don't want my new husband to have to take a blue pill on our wedding night. Especially as we're only in our 30s. I thank you all in advance. Sorry for rambling. This has been the only time in 3 years that I've been able to tell my story.