Please someone help! PIED and dead dick returned

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Gavalar09, Mar 1, 2019.

  1. Gavalar09

    Gavalar09 Fapstronaut

    719
    204
    43
    I've hit a massive 10 month PMO free streak and recovered from ED.

    I MO'd 6 days ago and now my penis has shrunk and I have no libido and brain fog.

    Why the hell am I back to square one? I though once you healed you could bring MO back?

    I'm literally suicidal again, I thought I was finally done with PIED!!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

    2,468
    679
    113
    How small did your dick get? Is it like tiny, folding up into the body like an acorn? Please describe and please don't suicide.
     
  3. icantbelieveit

    icantbelieveit Fapstronaut

    54
    89
    18
    You're not back to square one, you'll be healed again quicker this time...how long that will take I have no idea..but just stay the course. It's really as simple as that. Now that you know how terrible relapsing is, absolutely don't do it again.
     
  4. Tryingto

    Tryingto Fapstronaut

    Sorry to hear of your setback, @Gavalar09. I know from personal experience how painfully frustrating this can be.

    Please remember, however, that it's only a setback - not a return to square one. You have ten months' experience with being clean. Ten months of choosing something other than pmo as you main 'go to' in meeting your life. Take some time to reflect on this, to ponder what helped you realize this streak. Literally make a list of, say, ten things - then pick one and get back to it.

    Which raises another couple points, both drawn from my own recovery. First, whether or not one can bring mo back, as you note, depends. None of us are the same in how this addiction manifests. As a result, each of us has to figure out what works and what does not work individually. Perhaps mo is still not a great idea for you - not now at least. Second. just a reminder that this journey is often a lifelong one for us. We're addicts for whatever reason and will be working with this for the rest of our lives. Return to Paragraph 2 above.

    Finally, if you are truly feeling suicidal reach out for help. Really. Now before doing anything else - reach out!
     
    Gavalar09 and Fallensoldier1 like this.
  5. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    766
    771
    93
    I agree with don’t take your own life! I have pondered this as well at times, that’s how bad these withdrawals and flatlines have been.

    Second also I truly belive we can even MO once we get “healed”. Your brain remembers and there is a little gremlin inside of us forever unfortunately , waiting to get awoke and start again. We must abstain from pmo including even MO alone I’m afraid. Save it for a relationship!
     
    Gavalar09 likes this.
  6. Gavalar09

    Gavalar09 Fapstronaut

    719
    204
    43
    I was in a relationship and we just broke up. I was fixed. I even had sex 3 times with no orgasm the day before the relpase.

    But since the relpase my head is killing me and my penis has literally shrunk to the size of my little finger, no blood flow to it whatsoever.

    I thought I was recovered...
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Gavalar09

    Gavalar09 Fapstronaut

    719
    204
    43
    I just don't understand why flatline has hit me so hard. I've orgasmed to sex and flatlined for a few days but always been able to have sex again afterwards.

    But MO has destroyed me and libido, I've not even had a twitch this past week.
    I don't want to struggle for another 10 months
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. Tryingto

    Tryingto Fapstronaut

    A great big sigh, @Gavalar09. A great big sigh because I can so relate.

    But I think this is one of the most profound changes this work invites us to engage: A shift in priorities from what we want and / or what we don't want to what's actually happening in our lives. If we are feeling great, we do the work. If we are feeling crappy, we do the work. If it's easy, we do the work. If it's a struggle, we do the work. And on we go...

    This said, it's always one step, one thing at a time. So the appropriate question becomes so simple: what (healthy) thing comes next?!?
     
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  9. Gavalar09

    Gavalar09 Fapstronaut

    719
    204
    43
    I get where you're coming from but I just can't be okay with this. I thought one relpase just wouldn't throw me back this much.

    It's soul destroying.
     
  10. By week 2 you should be good to go. Mo set you back 10 to 14 days.
     
  11. Gavalar09

    Gavalar09 Fapstronaut

    719
    204
    43
    Is this what's happened to you?
    Make dick is completely dead right now, light as a feather.
     
  12. No I haven't Mo in 7 months but I do know it takes a specific amount of days from p, o or m to get back to normal. If you're still having withdrawals, your brain isn't finished with the rebooting process yet.
     
  13. Never Again

    Never Again Fapstronaut

    75
    59
    18
    ED can be heavily influenced by psychology. In fact, I believe a great deal of PIED reported here is not due to desensitization (which I also believe can cause ED) but anxiety in being unable to get erect. You are just freaking out and once you stop stressing, everything will more or less return to normal. Ten months free is long enough, but you are going through something of a trauma at the moment, given your latest relapse. Relax. You will be okay.
     
  14. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

    2,468
    679
    113
    He should definitely still abstain though, right?
     
    Never Again likes this.
  15. D. Jigen

    D. Jigen Fapstronaut

    50
    70
    18
    Man suicide is never the solution. Get rid of those thoughts. I have terrible brain fog and my penis is very light even tough i've not MOed for 50 days. I hate it so much and thoughts of relapsing are hitting me. Stay strong it will pass.
     
  16. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    766
    771
    93
    It could just be coming in waves still also. And like mentioned above, it can be psychological as well. You just got out of a relationship, and your stressing and thinking about your penis and your libido so much where you may be stressing yourself out too much. When you have been really upset in your life, have you had a erection or wanted to have sex? You have to calm yourself down, I know. Much easier said than done.

    When me and my wife tried to have sex a few days ago, I was hard until it came time to insert myself, I got flatter and more limp than you can imagine. I have had trouble with PE, so I worry about how long I will last as well. Try not to let your mind take over. Don’t worry about getting erect right now if your not in a relationship. It will come back, a lot sooner than 10 months! Your going through a lot right now. It will be okay. I haven’t had much morning wood in a while, so I know how you feel. And oddly enough, before nofap I don’t remmeber having much issues ever with that, I could get hard on command and it would stay.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. Gavalar09

    Gavalar09 Fapstronaut

    719
    204
    43
    50 days! Man I can't face this shit again!
     
  18. Gavalar09

    Gavalar09 Fapstronaut

    719
    204
    43
    How long have you abstained for?
    Does your wife know then?
    When it comes to ED how bad do you have it?
     
  19. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    766
    771
    93
    @Gavalar09 My counter reflects the last time I MO’d. About 5-7 days or so before that was the last time I viewed.

    Yes she knows the basics of my problems, but doesn’t know the genres really and such I was into. But knows that I’ve done it daily sometimes multiple times the past 17 years or so.

    The ED has came and went. The last time we tried to have sex last weekend I was hard untill it came time to put it in, and I lost it. I don’t have much morning wood currently, and I don’t have hardly any libido either.
     
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  20. Reboot16

    Reboot16 Fapstronaut

    64
    35
    18
    Do you guys think about sex much at all or are you good about completely purging thoughts altogether? Ever masturbate just to see if you can jumpstart your libido with it? Remember - it's ok to have thoughts of sex with girls - that's totally friggin' normal, so I'd say try not to suppress any feelings you might have when you see a pretty girl walk by, etc. That's natural male libido - if you're not feeling ANYTHING and you've gone weeks / months without masturbating, you guys might seriously consider giving it a shot and try jerking off about once every 3rd day for a couple weeks and see how you feel. This did wonders for me - just don't involve porn - only use your imagination, thinking about a real world female and running a legitimate scenario through your mind to help re-calibrate your brain.

    I also started working out, and just trying to improve the way I see and feel about myself. Having confidence helps a lot in the bedroom. When I was having some PIED issues with my wife, that led to me actually starting to have anxiety issues as well. That doesn't happen anymore, really, which is very nice - if you can gain some self-confidence, and feel good, it may help in that arena for you as well.
     
    Deleted Account and Anonymous86 like this.

Share This Page