Please tell me if this is normal

Yes! These things are all great! You're right on track.

The thing you have to understand about PMO is WHY WE DO IT. In almost every case, probably all cases, really, we do it because it makes us numb. It covers up our capacity to feel. See, you have all of these negative feelings and thoughts. They were there before NoFap but they're stronger - they're rising to the surface. Now, if you want to succeed you must embrace them. Embrace it all! You need to cry! You need to get angry and shout at the top of your lungs! I take my anger out when I lift weights or I'll do boxing drills. Hitting a bag for 10 minutes is a great release.

You see, channeling emotions by crying and shouting and hitting is good and healthy. It's a form of orgasm. What you did before, in your old life was MO as a release. But now, now you have an opportunity to embrace these feelings and really learn how to manage them.

I'm going to address a few things one by one but I think what I posted at the top is a good explanation for most of it...

- Afraid of the future You're 19. You should be. Our world is f***ing crazy and you have no idea how it works. I'm 22, getting my degree in computer engineering and I can tell you that every so often I start developing this fear of the future as well. I start to think, "How can I learn all this s***? There are over 100 programming languages. I have to learn calculus. I have to learn physics.... I have to learn about electrical engineering... I can't do this..." and that always happens right before my brain lands on this new plateau of understanding. All of the sudden I grasp the math, I can churn out more complex code for hours. You'll make it through this! We're all in it together. Don't let that voice get you down just tell yourself, "I'll sleep on it and figure it out tomorrow but I'm not giving up!"

- Afraid I'll never have sex, a girlfriend, or true friends you will. If you're in college at the moment, I suggest spending your whole day studying, particularly in tutoring centers (all schools have these) and you'll start to meet people with similar interests who are driven. It's all about momentum. Once you get going, it becomes natural and builds on itself. I used to be a drug dealer/addict. I spent my time with degenerates. Now I spend my time in the math tutoring center at my school and I'm probably one of the best in my math class. I spend all day studying with my friends. I haven't met a girl yet, but let go of the wheel, do you, and life will shower you with gifts.

- Sensitivity Proof you'll have a girlfriend and great friends. You want to know what makes a man a great partner? Having empathy. Being able to relate... or feel another person's feelings. A man who can put his arm around a woman and listen to her talk about her feelings without judging, scrutinizing, or attempting to find a solution will be loved by that women. Having feels and being about to use them trumps money, a body, or whatever porn says every time!

- Not liking to be around people I get this too. I just blame it on the high androgen levels in my brain. It sometimes happens for no apparent reason. Be mindful of it. Maintain your space but find the source. It'll work itself out.

- When looking at good looking women either online or real life, either frustration or sadness find your purpose, set out on your journey and it will happen. But you have to have something to offer others. I'm still getting there myself, and it can be frustrating. Try your best not to focus on it because this is the heart of the porn narrative - that you will never have a beautiful partner because you lack x, y, and z and therefore you ought to just PMO and be a good cuck. Realize that these thoughts are demeaning to you. Fuck that! You're worth more than what porn reduces you do.

- Afraid I'm missing out on life and not doing the things normal teens do like going to parties, kissing etc.
I was a drug dealer for 3 years. It is very easy to advance in this field when you are young. I worked with an state wide ring in one of the largest states in the US. I when to parties. Ranch parties. College parties. The real bad ass ones where you have to "be someone" to get in. I traveled around the state. I stayed in nice hotels. I had a hot stoner girlfriend who I brought along on my trips. Dude, it's such a bs life. All I was doing was running from my problems. I didn't grow as a person. I didn't get stronger. Every day I get up and I get to learn something new. My friends don't drag me down. I'm not surrounded by people who need to be on 3 different drugs just to hide their pain. At the end of the day I'm tired and I got straight to sleep because I'm accomplishing something every day. I'm pushing my limits. I'm seeing what I'm really capable of. Don't get caught up in the party life. It's a waste and it's not fulfilling.

- Feeling like I'm slowly going crazy You're probably very smart and you never knew it. Embrace it as well. Don't conform. Whatever your mind starts coming up with crazy stuff (non PMO related) run with it. For the longest time I thought that I was stupid. I couldn't do math. Then I did geometry. I realized to solve problems I could be more creative. It's even more fun in calculus. There are rules, but I can take a problem and go any direction with it to solve for different things. I've realized that the universe is very dynamic. There are basic laws that govern it, but we live in a chaotic world. You're probably recognizing the dualism. Nothing ever got invented by people thinking the same way. If not for crazy people we'd sill be hunting and gathering for a living.

- Thinking about sex a lot Reach between your legs. You should find a ball sack. As long as this is there, you'll be horny. Now how are you going to use this to your advantage?

 

haha amazing post durg dealer specilally the last one sack of balls !! i never knew that NoFap people r so cooler than the average peoples although i too faced a lot of problems menstioned i m day 3 now i see a lot of hope life i m 21 right now .

 

I would say that Mr. Sir hit the nail on the head, and quite eloquently I might add (good job!)
All I have to say say, suben380, is YES! all these things are normal. I don't know how much you used porn or masturbated, but chances are these things are like drugs to you. Drugs re-wire your brain and change its chemistry. You will encounter many negative feelings on your way to freedom, but remember, these ARE normal.

Also, don't get frustrated or sad when you see other people with things you'd like to have (girlfriends, sex, money, whatever). I don't know how old you are, Mr. Sir said 19, so I'll run with that... but you're young. I don't want to talk down to you, but I'm 23 and there is so much I look back on think, "Man, why did I try so hard to get X, Y, Z? Why did I hate myself so much for not being X, Y, Z?" Honestly, as Mr. Sir said, do you. If you're weird, be weird (and I mean a playful weird haha). Don't be afraid to "weird people out" or step on toes. What I have found is that a lot of people want to be cool and want to be accepted. Being cool and being accepted aren't bad things, except for when you change who you really are on the inside be those things.

 

I am convinced that we are what we think... Then if you think all these things about yourself certainly you become what you think. I personally think to be shy with girls i like and that brings me to be like this. But what if i start telling myself that i ain't shy? What if i start to create images in my mind about me feeling confident? Then i become like this.

If you start to get another perspective of your person, if you start to use the strong of a laugh about the bad things you think, if you start to imagine good situations in your head with real and colourful images, if you start to have a good "self-dialogue" then you exercise your brain to stay in a positive and inebriant state.

You know i think we are all so good in thinking about what's bad because it's easier for us, but we can literally train our brain to stay in a good mood. Once you reach this, trust me, your life gets better.

 

Wow, almost 17?! Yeah, I would say focus on school and what you might want to pursue in college. Study hard, make good grades, make friends, have fun. Take it from people who have "been there" and "done that". The right girl will come along and when she does, you'll be a better man that's ready to sweep her off of her feet!