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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by control your life, Dec 24, 2018.
This sounds on point. Instead of feeding the monkey, I have to something else. Thanks man!!
Check in Thursday
Oh man! Super embarrassing!
I think it's important to note (and maybe I should've said it in my post, too) is that the "problem is not solved". The "problem" is a day-to-day check in with myself where some days are better than others. And the longer I go without PMO, the easier it is.
I know you were just being supportive, and I appreciate that. And I appreciate you putting together this thread and inviting everyone, too. I just want to be clear for everyone reading, we have to be careful to not be too final in our self-analysis that we're cured. That's probably priming us for a relapse. It almost happened to me at 60 and at 90 days. In fact, I think every time I get close to a milestone, that's when I'm the most prone to blow the whole thing.
Anyway, rant over lol. Stay strong, friends.
That's right. But to take it a step further, it's not just about not feeding the monkey, because a hungry monkey is a loud, cranky, annoying, distracting monkey, right? This is about calming the monkey, quieting the monkey, making the monkey your friend. Because sexual urges by themselves are not our enemy. Sexual urges are a natural part of our human experience, and when used in a natural, loving way with a loving partner create amazing sexual experiences.
Our enemy is our compulsive behavior, and that doesn't stem from our sexual urges, that stems from anxiety, depression, emotional and mental unease, maybe trauma of varying degrees. I try to think of it less as, "I'm stopping PMO" and more as "I'm becoming a stronger, more confident, more compassionate, well-grounded man." Focusing on the "problem" tends to make me focus on the problem. Focusing on the solution, tends to make me focus on solutions. Does that make sense? It's like looking at a math problem and going, "I can't do it! I'm stupid!" Instead of looking at it and saying, "I don't know the answer, but maybe my friend does or I can ask the teacher for help or get a tutor or look for resources online."
I commend you for being here. It means your serious about growing, and life is all about growth, Loki. (Thor Ragnarok, anyone?) Also, I get how when you're in the first day/weeks of NoFap how hard it is. And "Not PMO'ing" is all you can think about. (That was my experience anyway.) But I'm hoping for you that you get to 30 days (and beyond) and start to see things, not as trying so hard to not do something, but to see things as being a better man (or woman) and growing in your life and your world around you.
Keep going. You can do this.
Daily check in. On day 53.
Yah..true...many relapses occur after a long long streaks , and its harder than we think to start again with lost motivation and confidence. In fact a person have to be very careful all the time ,as the battle is for life . One misstep and you can be back to the old ways for long time and this is tough.
Im In. Let's do this
Checking in for the day
Check in day 4
well you are already at day 7 pal...i was continuously relapsing for last 1 week after having a successful month...finally again starting from today...hope catch you soon...
Daily Check in.
Day 53, checking in Stay strong, keep going now !
Thanks so much @nudae. You are absolutely right about what you said. Focusing on the problem cannot solve it. I realized that when I reached like 3 weeks, which is often my maximum I get more focused on not relapsing. But I relapse around that time. I should focus on long term growth. Thanks again
check in guys 53/365
just today pmo in not an option!