PMO is just a way to escape pain

this is why an addict uses PMO .as soon as he feels depressed , lonely or sad , he'll relapse.
what helped me is this : be willing to accept the pain , to be miserable and depressed.
I tell myself " I'm very sad , I'm very depressed , but hey , what's more important than this , and what makes it worth it, is the fact that I feel I'm human , I feel life inside me , I still havent dicided to relapse ( relapse is a decision) , I still firmliy refuse to, that's more than enough , that's more than comforting ..."
I feel sad , but it's not the same sadness that I feel when I relapse , it's TOTALLY different. when I relapse , it's a sadness that comes with a devouring feeling of emptiness , however this sadness I feel NOW is the sadness that make poets write beautiful melancholic poems ,it's a pain that gives a sense to the life that I have in my heart.I tottally accept this and I'm willing to live and die like this.
PMO releives ( for an amount of time) pain , but it makes us less human.
it's a price you should be willing to pay : either be human and accept the ocean of emotions that come with it , including pain and depression; or use PMO every now and then to releive the pain until you feel it again , a few days later , but you'll have to abandon ( kill) the human that lives in your heart.