Pmo kills creativity

I do believe that up to some point we are all capable and willing to express ourselves in crative ways.

I was told since a young age that I was a quite creative kid. I enjoyed painting, drawing, inventing stories, creating anything that would express an idea or a feeling and sharing it to the world. It was my niche I would say

But I completely ignored that fact for the last few years. As I grew up I entered university and tried to get rid of non productive things, which included daydreaming and drawing the margin of the sheet of paper in class.

Dont get me wrong. At that time I did need to put my feet on the ground and learn to be mature. I still need to improve on that too. But it was a mistake to completely delete from my life all the creative things that I regarded as childish.

As I spent most of my time studying, when I got home I just wanted to relax. That would mean binging on games/social media and sooner or later relapse to pmo.

If you are reading this, you already know the disgust, disappointment and the hollow it leaves in your soul. That dread that comes after relapse could mean plenty of things, but in the past few days it became surprisingly clear what it meant to me. Let me explain why:

I was on vacation after a long period of exams (which included stress and plenty of bad relapses) doing nf whithout any obstacle and one day I had this pretty graphic dream. My hand had kind of a necrosis and I could see how fast it was deteriorating. I was desperate. I could even see my flesh. And then some doctor showed up and told me that thing would kill me in no time.

I woke up and felt relieved as I realized it was just a dream. But I took it seriously. And on the following days I had plenty kind of epiphanic revelations of creative projects and things that I could do.

But creative projects aren't accomplished from one day to another. I wonder how many years took Elon Musk from the moment he thought of putting a car in outer space, to finally doing it. Building a rocket, shoting a movie, crafting a masterpiece is no joke. It starts with an insight, a moment of inspiration but it needs a lot of hard work to finally see the light.

And pmo is killing both actually. It's scientifically proven that being allways busy not letting your brain "get bored" goes in detriment of coming up with original thoughts. I know nothing more numbing than pmo, so once you have relapsed it will probablly take away every last new idea you may have had.

In adfitiin to that, pmo is bad for your motivation. After relapsing you just want to be unnoticed, to hide away. Getting out of your comfort zone and pursuing difficult stuff is the last thing you would want to do. In fact you'll convince yourself that you don't really want to achieve that difficult and dreamish goal of yours, simply becoming a zombie. But you don't really want that. You are here to make some big stuff out of your existance. And the biggest thing you could do is loving your people and being loved. Life is about finding a way to do so, and if you are reading this my friend, you know as good as I do that pmo is far from a tool to get closer to that goal.

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Pd :
I relapsed today. I'm still struggling with this thing. I know I allways be. But I hope I won't let that little bitch get in my way anymore. I know that relapsing is no excuse for not showing up to fullfil my responsibilities and for not working in my creative projects. I allways liked movies and I have an idea for a screeplay. I don't know sh*t about Writing or directing or acting, but Im looking foward to spend my free time learning about that. I guess there's not much time left to waste on that pmo thing.

For the last, if you too feel inspired to create, check my boy Captai Sinbad in YT with his video 'steal like an artist'. It really made me hit a nerve

 

I will man! Thanks for your words! I wish more people would encourage creative hobbys instead of the alternative of sitting in front of a screen all day and pmoing..
I hope the best for your creative projects too!

 

I would say it's the opposite in my case. Since I stopped pursuing creative projects I pressured myself to do more things I don't really like only to fit in with a certain ideal, and feel lost and eventually relapse as a consequece.

Everything became easier since I went back to the crative path. I think nf is a tool for getting closer to what you are destined to do in life instead of hiding away.

But although things got easier, Im still struggling with that zero tolerance to pmo mindset. I guess I have to keep on trying

Hope the best for you bud!

 

Thanks pal! Just came here for some motivation and your comment gave me a boost. As you said only good things transpire from no pmo

 

Even being such a big industry this days, there's not many mass media / tv shows / movies depicting the harmful side of porn. There's some youtubers from this community but they don't really have massive impact. It's a good way to start but it would also be cool if someone made a cartoon satire exploring porn usage and its effects on people's brains.

It's not easy openig up about this but I hope someday we'll find the way. Maybe is kind of our mission for us on nofap. Think of Paul Schrader. He was a 20something loner obsessed with porn in the 70's and he wrote from his own experience the screenplay of Taxi driver,considered one of the best movies ever made.

As you said we have to work hard, take 100% responibility for our problems and stay clean if we want to make an good impact on the world with our work and effort someday!