PMO lifestyle consequences in marriage.

How old is your wife? Fertility rates drop dramatically after age 27 for women. That being said, I got pregnant on the pill at age 32. Then pregnant again at 34. My husband was a daily pmo user who infrequently wanted sex. It’s a miracle we ever had children considering I was trying my hardest not to and he never wanted sex!

 

Two months isn’t very long honestly. If after 6-12 months you haven’t conceived you both might want to get tested. Took us 8 months of trying after our son was born. But I got pregnant on the pill while trying not to get pregnant with my son!

 

I mean, you can get your sperm tested. you can actually buy a cheap microscope and see your sperm wiggling around.

 

Two topics for you: 1. Getting prego 2. Nofap

Expectations of getting pregnant: This is based on three couples that I know in our age bracket (29-36) that have recently had children within the past year. Your expectations are WAY out of line with how getting pregnant works. You shouldn’t be tracking this on a month to month basis. Do yourself a favor and start tracking this on a 3-6 months basis. Minimum three months, more realistic 6 months. To get pregnant you should start “trying” aka sex without condoms and intentional no pull-out about 6 months before you actually want to get pregnant. For example, when my wife and I want to have kids in 2024 we’re going to start trying in late summer 2023. It takes longer and you should not be so harsh on yourselves with measuring each and every month. Try for at least a year and then if that doesn’t work then you can start looking into what might be wrong.

2. Nofap will be great for your marriage. Highly recommend to do this in general.

 

How does not getting her pregnant so far make you feel?

 

there are many good reasons to quit pmo but sperm count is not one of them, at least not directly. I know because I have 3 kids, 2 of them are surprise babies -#1 and #3 were “ accidents” and my husband was an addict during all 3 conceptions. That being said it is a good idea to quit so you could spend more time at the gym and eating healthy, and reconnect with your partner so you could actually enjoy instead of feeling that it is a duty. We were lucky or unlucky , depending how you see it , but for most of my friends of my age group ( around the same, now a bit older) it took at least 6 months of efforts. By the way when period is late and it is usually on time it could have been a chemical pregnancy. I had that one as well. The test for positive for about 2-3 days and then went back to negative. It is very common

 

God bless OP, having children is the last thing anyone wanted to see when they handed you a free bucket of porn.

 

Consider it a gift to have not conceived yet while you cannot get your porn use under control. Pregnancy and a baby is like putting a stress pot on full boil. Your job right now is to take your problem seriously. Therapy. Meetings. Blockers. You name it. Does she know about your problem? The stress from betrayal trauma alone could be hindering conception.

All that said..... I have 4 kids. My first was the longest to conceive, 6 months, because I was stressed out of my mind do to my job. As soon as I quit, we were pregnant. The next 3 babies were all conceived in 1 night. One of those was conceived at the height of my husband's usage when I had no idea what he was doing. The last of those came in a moment of grief and connection a few weeks after our first dday. Babies 2-4 were all 30+ for my age. So it could be so many things. I would focus the most on getting yourself healthy and look into family planning to make sure you are even hitting the right moment. But again, bringing a baby into this dynamic is not going to make anything easier, it makes it all so much harder.

 

Honestly, its very unlikely that masturbating 3 times a week has decreased your sperm count. With the advanced maternal age being the most likely cause.

 

My wife and I just went through the fertility rodeo. She is now pregnant but it took 2 months of trying. We were having sex much too often during her fertility window. She wanted to do it twice a day. The pressure associated with knowing that it was on me to ejaculate in order for her to get pregnant got into my head. I found it was very difficult to finish. Sex wasn't about her and pleasure it was just a mechanical thing to have a baby. I ended up needing to watch porn with her after a few days to finish because it was taking me 30 minutes to finish because my head was in such a bad place. Trying for a baby is such an incredibly hard and devastating thing at the same time. God speed OP

 

Everyone has a different journey. However, it may be worth suggesting to your wife she tracks her ovulation cycles. Often people struggling to conceive are not having sex during ovulation.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!

Great, you've got this, now with an additional motivation!

Amen to that: constant vigilance.