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PMO recovery man and vibrator dependant woman

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by FlatlineFred, Jul 7, 2017.

  1. Jul 7, 2017 #1
    FlatlineFred

    FlatlineFred Fapstronaut

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    My new GF has spent the past 6 years single and using her buzzy friend to O.

    I think she is hooked on it.

    Meanwhile I am in a bit of a mess as I am in PMO flatline. I told her exactly what's going on (ratting out approx 90% of the world's male population)

    Still, we love each other and manage to have a sex life as a threesome. Her, the buzzy friend and myself.

    It's not ideal but it works.

    She can O 4 times to my one in a session.

    I don't have the nerve to ask her to try not using it. (I have enough work to do rehabilitating myself)

    I suppose deal with one addiction at a time...?

    Any women here with a BF AND hooked on sex toy use? Did you manage to retire the toy?

    Thanks in advance.
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2017
    FlatlineFred, Jul 7, 2017
    FlatlineFred, Jul 7, 2017
    #1
  2. Jul 7, 2017 #2
    Hopefulgirl

    Hopefulgirl Fapstronaut

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    I just found out about my husband's masturbation and porn addiction last week and I am really evaluating our situation.

    Sex was never the greatest with him and I love sex and have a high drive. Pretty much every time after we would have sex I would have to vibrate. I realize that I was totally addicted to it and just could not have an orgasm with him. His inability to get me off further made him feel shitty. Such a cycle.
    I ditched the vibrator and the difference so far is crazy.
     
    Hopefulgirl, Jul 7, 2017
    Hopefulgirl, Jul 7, 2017
    #2
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  3. Jul 7, 2017 #3
    SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

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    Proof positive that NoFap works for women, too. :)
     
    SuperFan, Jul 7, 2017
    SuperFan, Jul 7, 2017
    #3
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  4. Jul 7, 2017 #4
    SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

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    She may be addicted to it, but maybe not. Maybe she's just using it because you're in a flatline. You'll never know unless you two talk about it, and it may very well create a new openness and non-judgment in your sex life, which would be pretty awesome. You guys should be able to talk about all these things.

    Does it make you feel like less of a man when she uses it? That might be something worth sharing with her. But if it doesn't bother you, and if she doesn't consider it an addiction, I don't really see a problem with it. In the end, it's about you two deciding what's best for your relationship and what's best for each of you individually. If those conclusions come into conflict, then you guys can decide how to address it best.

    In the end, it all comes down to communication, no?
     
    SuperFan, Jul 7, 2017
    SuperFan, Jul 7, 2017
    #4
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  5. Jul 7, 2017 #5
    FlatlineFred

    FlatlineFred Fapstronaut

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    She has again been processing my explanation for my flatline. (PMO) I want to get a bit more reliable for erections before suggesting we try cutting out her "helper" tool.

    I don't feel intimidated by it (I am grateful for it at the moment) But she DID say she was worried she was a little too dependant on it and I have read that some women feel that have buzzed their clitoris to oblivion and are never able to O again with just a penis.

    I am retraining - perhaps she will need to as well.

    Feels like too much to do at one time..
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2017
    FlatlineFred, Jul 7, 2017
    FlatlineFred, Jul 7, 2017
    #5
  6. Jul 7, 2017 #6
    SuperFan

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    Well, there are a lot of women who can't have an orgasm through penetration. There are plenty of women who need clitoral stimulation to O. If your GF was able to have an orgasm with you with no help in the past, then I wouldn't worry ... but if she's always depended on it for as long as she's known you, then yeah, it might be a good idea to try getting rid of it for a while.

    I won't get too explicit, but there are other parts of your body that are very useful for helping her hit that magic O that have nothing to do with your package. Maybe you can allow her to use you as her sex toy for a bit. :)
     
    SuperFan, Jul 7, 2017
    SuperFan, Jul 7, 2017
    #6
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  7. Jul 7, 2017 #7
    FlatlineFred

    FlatlineFred Fapstronaut

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    Yeah hands mouth tounge etc.

    Some days we are very "connected" but at the moment 80% of the time we are having sex but kinda each off on our own thing.

    I will take the positive 10% and try to build on that.

    BTW I gave up P and M and PMO (a total dead stop) the day after we first tried to have sex. (so like our 3rd date) we have hit it off extremely well and are totally in love 6 months in. As it's a new relationship the porn use "baggage" didn't occur within it. So I am very lucky to be off the hook For "cheating" with it.

    She was shocked when I pulled back the curtain on what guys get up to with porn, how it escalates, multi screen, multiple browser windows open, craving for novelty and more extreme material.

    But I got a lot of points for honesty and communication. (I also feel like I have ratted on about 60% of the world's adult male population!!)
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2017
    FlatlineFred, Jul 7, 2017
    FlatlineFred, Jul 7, 2017
    #7
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  8. Jul 7, 2017 #8
    SuperFan

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    I'm not sure how 30% of the male population found healing within this thread, but it gives me hope!
     
    SuperFan, Jul 7, 2017
    SuperFan, Jul 7, 2017
    #8
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  9. Jul 7, 2017 #9
    FlatlineFred

    FlatlineFred Fapstronaut

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    Ha!
     
    FlatlineFred, Jul 7, 2017
    FlatlineFred, Jul 7, 2017
    #9
  10. Jul 7, 2017 #10
    Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

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    Dang! Never took it there...

    I don't really know but it sounds like maybe this is the female equivalent of the "death grip" thing, resulting in loss of sensitivity. I can't imagine it's permanent though - just encourage her to quit if she wants and I bet it returns with time.
     
    Spiff, Jul 7, 2017
    Spiff, Jul 7, 2017
    #10
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  11. Jul 7, 2017 #11
    FlatlineFred

    FlatlineFred Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I think equivalent too
     
    FlatlineFred, Jul 7, 2017
    FlatlineFred, Jul 7, 2017
    #11
  12. Jul 7, 2017 #12
    Hopefulgirl

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    I completely agree. Vibrators offer such a specific sensation that can not be replicated by a person.
     
    Hopefulgirl, Jul 7, 2017
    Hopefulgirl, Jul 7, 2017
    #12
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  13. Jul 7, 2017 #13
    SuperFan

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    God knows I've tried ...
     
    SuperFan, Jul 7, 2017
    SuperFan, Jul 7, 2017
    #13
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  14. Jul 7, 2017 #14
    Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

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    Female equivalent of
    death grip =vibe trip,
    lol
     
    Kenzi, Jul 7, 2017
    Kenzi, Jul 7, 2017
    #14
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