Has this happened to anyone else before? After a streak when you first end up on porn again you actually find it really boring at first, and your not even getting turned on at masturbating to it. But you just keep masturbating to it anyway. Then what you find is by the end of the day you have went in to an edging and binging session and you are getting extreme pleasure from PMO again, it's basically like the PMO is completely controlling you again, to the point you feel like you can't stop it? It's just crazy how quick this transition can happen. Going from being bored of PMO, and basically getting no sexual excitement from it, to gradully liking it more and more, to the point by the end of the day it is completely got a hold of you to the point you can't stop. I don't understand why I keep masturbating to it though if I am not enjoying it initially?
It's because porn/sex addiction isn't actually about sexual pleasure, not really. It's about using that pleasure to paper over something, using it to replace/medicate something. So what you're saying makes absolute sense.
I have experienced similar affects. But I can't do it for long, too many headaches, all real life commitments go to crap. What really stands out to me lately is the lack of connection with porn. Eye contact and conversations with women is immensely more fulfilling than anything fake online. Full recovery can take a while. But I highly recommend getting out there and making those small connections every time you can. They add up, and eventually real people become a whole lot more appealing even if there is a bad day.
