PMOing after streaks causes greater pleasure and more damage?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Oct 9, 2021.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I am starting to think I am going about trying to stop PMOing the wrong way.

    What I find is when I am on a streak, so for a few weeks, month etc, and then relapse, this literally causes me to experience such an extreme level of pleasure and enjoyment that out of control binging is basically inevitable.

    But the strange thing is if I end up on porn and artificial sexual stimulation a bit more frequently, the enjoyment and pleasure is much less. There is next to no binging.

    That being said I do have a really good blocking configuration, to the point I can hardly ever access porn and artificial sexual stimulation.

    But I was actually thinking about trying a new method to beat porn and artificial sexual stimulation.

    So instead of constantly going weeks, a month etc without porn and artificial sexual stimulation, and then ending up in those out of control extreme enjoyment and pleasurable binges. I was thinking about maybe allowing porn and artificial sexual stimulation for 30 minutes every second night. So 30 minutes one night, then the next night nothing, then 30 minutes the next night and so on.

    Use might think this is a bad idea and crazy. But I am betting if I did this every second night, what would end up happening is I would end up finding the porn and artificial sexual stimulation boring, I would probably hardly ever want to jack off to it, and definitely not binge on it, the pleasure and enjoyment from it would likely become so little.

    I have definitely found the relapsing and binging is far worse after streaks, because the pleasure I get from the PMO becomes so high after streaks. Where as if I had a little access to it more often, I honestly feel like this would make it so boring that I would never want to binge on it, where I would likely hardly ever even want to jack off to it.

    I think it's kind of like forbidden fruit. When you can't access it at all you just want it all the more, and try to get it all the more. Where as if I can access it more often, but only in very short amounts, I don't know, I honestly feel like this could really stop me going into those insane binges, and potentially make me much more bored of PMO.

    The going on streaks isn't working for me. I always eventually end up relapsing and going on insane PMO edging binges after a few weeks clean.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2021
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  2. findforward

    findforward Fapstronaut

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    If you feel that you'll be able to successfully limit yourself to your set times then there's no harm in giving it a go, especially if you reduce the time allowed over time, or the number of days between uses as you get better at it. You could find that it's difficult to do successfully though, and have a think about whether you're subconsiously trying to justify not giving up porn.

    I found this the other day on the Your Brain on Porn website. It struck a chord with me as I too engage in binges after longer periods of abstinence. For me, I've been thinking that edging is particularly unhealthy during these binges and wondered if trying to orgasm as soon as possible when I first use porn might be the best option for me. Once I've come, it's like my desire's gone, I've had my fun and I soon go back to abstaining. Might be another way to prevent long binge sessions.

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...ong-abstinence-with-binges-an-addiction-risk/
     
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  3. PegasusKid

    PegasusKid Fapstronaut

    Well the ideal in the first place would be to not relapse regardless of the streak length so I think the binging is just sort of a normal consequence that you could tackle on its own. This strategy basically assumes that you'll never be able to just drop porn which seems like a compromise with yourself. I also wonder why you chose a time limit as 30 minutes is a while, unless that's short for you then I understand. The concern I have here is that pleasure isn't the only indicator of an addiction, and usually reduced pleasure means its dulling your ability to feel pleasure which isn't a good sign. There's still such a thing as habits being formed every time you do this, and keep in mind you're here because you're hooked to pmo. If it was true for you that the more you pmo, the more you'll get bored and drop it eventually, wouldn't you have already dropped it since you've been hooked and doing it repetitively for a while now? Just something to think about. I think this is your mind trying to trick you into compromising with your pmo, but I always say people should experiment with methods if things aren't working out so I would give it a shot anyways. Weening off by using in a controlled way does seem to work for a smaller portion of people and you may be in that smaller portion. Worst case scenario is it just doesn't work and you try something else.
     
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  4. approachingrelevance

    approachingrelevance Fapstronaut

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    Try to make the little experiences random and not regular, so you don't build up a tolerance. Maybe make it like something you do when you are in there middle of cleaning your room. Also that way it will have to be short because you're in there middle of something.

    What exactly is the forbidden fruit? Is it the giant long binge? If so having shorter ones won't stop the cravings, they might just make them easier to slide into or tend to make them take longer since you'll build up a tolerance. Is it the quiet escape and loneliness? Physical release? M and not the P? Maybe you can do something else, instead of the full binge that can give you the feeling of tasting the forbidden fruit without the side effects.

    The big thing is to figure out how to replace it with natural highs, and get you used to meeting your needs, both sexual and emotional, through your regular life and not through the screen. So like if you're having a good day, just keep it at a good day and not head home to chase the intense high of a late night edge session. Or of you're having a day that would end in a pmo session, recognize and try different to navigate your day in a way that pmo won't be thing you're relying on to bring yourself back to balance.
     
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  5. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Yeah 30 minutes is nothing to me. When I end up on porn and artificial sexual stimulation again I usually fall into a PMO edging and binging session that lasts an entire day. So edging and binging on and off for an entire day. This is what I want to stop completely. It makes me feel ill.

    But what I have found is going on streaks and then being able to access porn and artificial sexual stimulation again causes such a high level of pleasure and enjoyment for me, that edging and binging is basically inevitable.

    Because of the blocking configuration I have, getting rid of devices, my smartphone etc, No admin privileges on my laptop, and certain blockers. I honestly can't ever usually access any porn or artificial sexual stimulation. It is extremely restricted. But then as I said after a few weeks of seeing nothing like this, when I eventually see it again, the arousal, excitement and enjoyment is off the scale, to the point it is basically inevitable I will fall into an extreme PMO edging binge.

    But what I have found recently is when I can access the porn and artificial sexual stimulation just slightly more frequently, that this edging and binging doesn't happen the same, I don't feel this extreme arousal, excitement and enjoyment from it.

    But yeah if I could just access porn and artificial sexual stimulation 24/7, this would also be a big problem. As I know I wouldn't have any consistency staying off it at all if I could just access it all the time. Boredom etc, then just ending up on it too frequently, probably still ending up falling into edging and binging etc.
     
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  6. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    The forbidden fruit is the porn and artificial sexual stimulation. I can never usually access any of it.
     
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  7. approachingrelevance

    approachingrelevance Fapstronaut

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    It probably is that the long delay makes it much more of an exciting deep dive, like how the worst food tastes amazing if you haven't ate all day. I guess that's what would be hard about quitting altogether, knowing that all this "pleasure" is right around the corner (even though all the pain would be lurking behind it, asking with whatever other consequences you're trying to get away from).

    If the end game is just to not have all those long sessions, I wonder if your can get timed blockers to come on and stop you or at least remind you to stop so it doesn't drag it out. Maybe you can run the battery down on your devices and put the chargers out of reach or something?

    If, however, the end game is you not doing it at all ever, then doing it for short time periods could make it more habitual for you to break to down your defenses, and could build up more of a dependence on the shorter sessions, or even build a tolerance for them. If you build a tolerance and you want to get back to that level of pleasure, you'll probably need longer sessions and more intense sessions. Just saying'

    So yeah, you might want to think about what you want to do, all porn, or just long porn binge sessions. Which of those is the forbidden fruit?
     
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  8. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I would rather stop it all together. But what I am saying is when I get streaks of no porn or artificial sexual stimulation at all, after a few weeks I usually relapse ending up in these insane PMO edging binges, that give me extreme pleasure and enjoyment, but then for days later actually make me feel really ill.

    I am trying to stop altogether and then ending up in these extreme edging binges. So I am interested to see if allowing some porn and artificial sexual stimulation for 30 minutes a few times week stops these extreme edging and binging sessions altogether.
     
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  9. matrix.

    matrix. Fapstronaut

    You’re not being hard enough on yourself, you should be suffering especially in the initial weeks and then it gets easier because the dependency dies down. Accept that you will never ever be able to view porn and masturbate to it again. Don’t you want that for yourself? Accept it and make a change to your life if you truly want it bad enough. I don’t get the whole I’ll allow myself a bit of porn once in a while thing. Relapses are avoidable, that all depends on you.

    Being an ex smoker, there is never a one more time ordeal. It turns into way more times
     
  10. approachingrelevance

    approachingrelevance Fapstronaut

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    Matrix is right. You're having success with the streaks, keep pushing through and making them longer. If you're replapsing figure out how to make it shorter, or non-existent. Don't waste time trying to sneak more porn into your life, because that will ultimately lead you to having more porn in your life.
     
  11. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Yeah use are probably right. I am just sick of the extreme edging and binging after streaks. As I said this edging and binging always seems to be much worse after streaks.

    Obviously I wish I could just never PMO again. But at the very least if I did have a slip, I wish I didn't go into this extreme edging, binging session. But as I said the pleasure is so high when I have a slip after streaks that I honestly don't think it is possible for me not to edge and binge on it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2021
  12. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    Why do you set your blockers to end after a certain length of time? For what purpose would you ever not need them other than to watch porn?
     
  13. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    The main reason I occasionally allowed things from time to time on a schedule, so every few weeks, month etc, is because I was worried I ended up bricking my laptop.

    So from time to time I need admin privileges to fix things on my laptop etc. But after 2-4 weeks without any porn or artificial sexual stimulation at all, what I was doing when I had admin privileges after this time was trying to bypass my blocking configuration.

    Bypassed it many times before and then learned of new ways to block my self so those bypasses weren't possible anymore, with the help of other people. But two times I was close to bricking my laptop. So to the point my laptop would never be able to get fixed.

    So I ended up falling into a pattern of occasionally allowing things every few weeks for short periods of time so I never tried those bypasses again. Also lying to myself and thinking it was ok to do it every few weeks, month etc for short periods of time. Which I realise now it was not ok, and my usage just kept increasing and increasing over time.

    I actually fell into a heavy two day binge last week. It was the day after very heavy drinking though. But yeah I went out my way to get my admin password, and managed to bypass my blocking configuration. I do know of another fix to block this bypass, but I would risk bricking my laptop altogether if anything went wrong with it with this bypass fix applied. So I don't even want to chance it.

    But yeah that was just a serious wake up call for me last week, an extreme two day PMO binge, and I ended up spending a lot of money on stupid stuff as well. So I honestly just feel like I am done with it all now.
     
  14. beaverreaver

    beaverreaver Fapstronaut

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    This reminds me of my mate who I introduced to Nofap few years ago. He was excited about all the super powers and the idea of being porn free. Went well with his "gentleman" image he was trying on. We didn't talk about the whole thing for a year or so and when it eventually came up I'll never forget his words. After relapsing a dozen of times he figures it's just easier not even try. So he kept watching porn because he couldn't take the relapses.
     
  15. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    You no doubt know more about blockers and computers than I do but I just use Cold Turkey and set it to block the entire internet whilst keeping a few safe sites, as far as I know there's no way around it short of reinstalling Windows but that's too much of a ball-ache even for me to consider - if there is a way around it then I'd rather not know lol. Problem I have is that I don't live alone so still have access to a bunch of other devices so really the blocker just acts as more of an inconvenience, if I were in your position I would just set the block for say three months or so and be done with it. It sounds to me like you either consciously or subconsciously set the block for a shorter amount of time because you don't really want it out of your life forever. I also know the feeling of when the block ends and even if you weren't aware of it, once you do become aware you instantly start to think this is your chance to access porn and you go all in.
     
  16. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I think I was tricking myself for a long time, thinking some now and again was ok. But it turned into a binge here and there, so binging a few times a month, and it just gradually got worse and worse and worse. I realise now I just can't have any of it.
     

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