Point of Despair

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by thatsingleindividual#K-13, Jan 17, 2020.

  1. thatsingleindividual#K-13

    thatsingleindividual#K-13 Fapstronaut

    I'm at a point to where it feels like I'm deliberately sabotaging my soul and my mind. It seems like I'm using pornography as a way to sabotage myself and I'm not sure why I'm doing these things. I've blocked everything off of my computer to the point to where I can't access any video sites whatsoever. However, I'm still looking up porn pics on google images and I'm going to a website that is for GIFs and look up pornographic photos there. I don't know but it feels like I'm at the point of despair and I'm looking up these things not so much for the porn in of itself, but for reinforcing self-negativity. It's horrific!
  2. BecomeMaster

    BecomeMaster Fapstronaut

    Is this happening because you get triggers/urges online? Is it a purely self-conscious decision?
    A few things I'd try:
    1. Add Energized.pro to your device's hosts list.
    2. Get browser extensions that strip out all photos off websites; that way you're much less likely to find a relapse trigger.
    3. Stay off Social Media for a while, even text-based ones like Twitter! They can mess with your hormones while getting into debates and discussions. Dopamine and the like from S.M. will just make it harder to avoid a relapse. Same with Instagram, etc.
    4. Replace your smartphone with a cheap dumbphone, or don't use any phone at all (if possible.)
    If you don't think any of these technological regulation will help, and you don't need your laptop/phone for work or school, the most dire working solution is to discard them both entirely (perhaps, for a set period of time.) Have a friend take them, or set them somewhere that is not easy to access, like in a high, cramped place in your garage. And spend as much time as you can outside (perhaps, in your backyard or at the park.) If it's raining or snowing, bring an umbrella and a jacket. You can bring a book to read. I find that nature is very relaxing to the point that seeking porn is much less pleasant than nature. I'm not meaning to sound like a hippy or anything, but it's true. If you need your devices, at least try using them outside.

    Also, in my experience, when I relapsed to static images instead of videos, the addictive effect it had on me was much less, and I was able to jump back into NoFap a lot easier. If you have to relapse, do it to images and not over-stimulating GIFs and videos.

    I was in your situation before, and although I think the above points are really important and useful, your phase could just pass away like a cold or something.
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2020
    The emperor likes this.
  3. thatsingleindividual#K-13

    thatsingleindividual#K-13 Fapstronaut

    Thank you. I've already done step 4. I got a flip-phone to replace my Samsung.
    I'm trying some other things as well but I find your advice real helpful.
    BecomeMaster likes this.

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