Poll did porn kill love your love and attraction for your partner

Absolutely. It's like she achieved a whole new level of femininity because I stopped objectifying her and focusing on her body parts and sex and started viewing her as a person.

 

This may not be the healthiest, but my stopping PMO allowed me to be honest with myself and with my wife - I wasn't attracted to her. Don't get me wrong, she's a wonderful person and a great friend, but as a lover/partner we're a terrible combination. She was never really able to bring me to climax (something that happened after us only having sex once or twice). I'd often fake it or tell her I was trying to restrain myself, and in time I came to use porn as a substitute and an escape. There are other issues involved, like my own growing need to express my dominance and masculinity while she pretty much fights the gender wars (not opposed to feminism, but it kinda kills romance), and her abhorrence at anything feminine while I have a need for it as a trait in a partner.

These issues were all there before we got married, and I'd brought them up, but I ignored them, and my own needs, in the hope that either she'd want to change to make me happy or I was 'wrong' for wanting what I did. She didn't, and she shouldn't have to, but then again, neither did I. I really needed to be honest with myself, and with everyone, which is something I'm trying to embrace more.

Funny thing is, now that we're separated, we have a pretty decent relationship. There is cuddling and holding hands - a great deal of affection - but no attraction (at least on my part).

 

I've been addicted to porn for about ten years, and I've been in three long-term relationships over that period of time (I'm currently in the third one). I've never felt a loss of attraction to any of my partners in my life, but I understand that everyone has a different experience with this stuff.

 

In my old relationship it got to the point where I would much rather look at porn or fantasise than spend time time with her. I would get mad at her when she interrupted my porn viewing. It's one reason why that relationship came to an end.

 

Hmmmmm, i know I let my family down and my God down. But now I am doing much better though. I have overcome my addiction.

 

This is helpful. I feel a lot like your girlfriend. My boyfriend has been clean for 100 days and I’m finding it hard to trust he is not relapsing or lying. He tells me to trust him, because the time he feels weak and either thinks about P or oogles women is when he is sad/feeling untrusted.

But, with so many lies, it’s hard to believe and trust him. It feels like every woman is a threat.