[Poll] Do you think every addiction has underlying issues?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by IR254, May 1, 2019.

Are other underlying issues the reason you're addicted to porn?

  1. Yes, absolutely.

    10 vote(s)
    40.0%
  2. It is likely.

    10 vote(s)
    40.0%
  3. No idea.

    3 vote(s)
    12.0%
  4. It is unlikely.

    1 vote(s)
    4.0%
  5. No, no way.

    1 vote(s)
    4.0%
  1. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    Hello NoFap,

    The last couple of days, I spent a lot of time thinking about my relationship with porn. I tried to figure out why I was really using it. I thought I knew it all these years, but actually I didn't.

    I tried to find out, whether or not I have underlying issues in my life, which made me become addicted to porn in the first place.

    I came up with lonliness. However, I'm not sure if I am lonely because of porn, or if I use porn because I'm lonely. Both could be possible.

    I'm interested in your views: Do you think, you had other underlying issues before porn?
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  2. Infinite spirit

    Infinite spirit Fapstronaut

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    The reason we become addicted to porn ..is because porn is addictive!!. Ofcourse having a shitty life with a bunch of proplems is gonna make you more vulnerable to fall into addictions. But it's really not the root cause. Think about the first time you watched porn or masturbated..was it because of any "underlying issues"?. No.. it was because you want to feel sexual and have a good time. That's why improving your life is not guaranteed to cure your porn addiction. Because it doesn't really have anything to do with that. You are addicted to porn because your brain likes porn. Your brain is stupid and just wants the dopamine..by learning about the harms of porn and how bad it is for you..is the only way to break free . Dealing with "underlying issues " is just a bonus.
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2019
  3. djentonaut

    djentonaut Fapstronaut

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    I used it as a coping mechanism growing up. I strongly believe that if I lived in a healthier household growing up, I would not have become addicted or at least it would have been significantly less intense.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  4. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    All porn mo triggers are emotional at some level. You don’t do porn solely because you are human.
     
  5. Bale

    Bale Fapstronaut

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    This. After hanging around on online forums and trying to quit porn many times without success, I tend to forget that our personal responsibility is not always the one to point the finger at when we get setbacks. Porn is highly addictive, intrinsically.
     
    recon117 likes this.
  6. Embrace

    Embrace Fapstronaut

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    I do not think this is the case for everyone. It is known and even a slight google search will show that addiction and trauma are extremely well connected. That is because, while sex, alchohol, drugs, and other things, even sport and religion and all sorts of nice stuff, do feel pleasurable to most people to some extent, addiction is a whole different ball game. I mean lots of things make us feel good. Addiction is something, and people can become addicted to anything from objects to products, are usually a cover up of something deeper. Resolving deep emotional issues can and does solve addictive behaviours because they are usually coping mechanisms.
    One of the reasons is that people, all people need a constant reserve of pleasure of some sort. Of peace, of zoning out, etc. As a child, one needs the core to be filled up to a minimum by the immediate caretakers. Mother s milk and mother s love because you are not yet able to self regulate and self soothe, by nature and by just not knowing. If that is well enough, and it continues, and you have a good support around, real addiction rarely sets in, because your emotional needs are being met. Like food is good, but once full you feel nausea of somebody offers you more. Well this were porn and addiction sets in, it is like a rock, painted like a bread and with a slight taste additive, so you can delude yourself in desperation that it is bread.
    We are conditioned into the idea of stand up for yourself, resilient, independent, etc, but that culture is exaggerated. See some videos about Besser van der Kolk where he stresses the social component of our biology. We NEED others, and others, sometimes, NEED us. A human is not enough by himself, most of the time. Hermits and mystical types either went and go crazy or they have some kind relationship with a higher being, real or imaginary to be discussed, but a relationship nonetheless.
    So it does act like an anaesthetic, or emotional regulation, or anti depressive, or anxiolitic, or intimacy surogate. If the root issue is not solved, probably you will just get another addiction, not as evident as porn or drugs, but maybe work, or sport, or social involvment, etc.
    My opinion , from personal experience and limited study, is that addiction is 95 percent the effect of unresolved trauma. Because to become addicted, one has to have some kind of will or self issues. We humans all have cravings, but through diverse ways and a fully mature and strong self we restrain and train ourselves and channel our needs where we need to. Addiction is like a hijacking of the will. A strong self and will and good perception of reality are formed from the moment of conception and through childhood and ripen pretty late in humans, at about 16 18, and really become strong at about thirty. There was a reason mediteranean cultures, from jews to greek, thought that for males thirty is the age of strong maturity. I read that the frontal lobes only fully mature at about 25 to 30. And, even after that, life altering trauma, like rape, or war, or extreme natural disasters can cause PTSD, for a while, and the person needs to taken care of until he heals and regenerates.
    And I repeat my main argument. Anything which causes pleasures can become addictive. Why are we all not raging addicts? Or who knows, maybe we are, but our drugs, like work or sport or religion or philantropy garner social approval and are considered automatic virtues. But sex, in some instances, can also be a virtue. And voluntary work can be a vice, when it is the crutch to your self esteem and a coping mechanism so you can feel needed and strong and overcome lasting feelings of helplesness, powerlesness and worthlesness from childhood or later trauma.
    I do not think this description fits all addiction types, but it does fit some. A lot actually.
     
  7. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    everybody has underlying issues, its what makes us human, and of course if those issues dont empower us, they brings us down to our knees infront of the smallest of addictions
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  8. diep

    diep Fapstronaut

    I think everybody craves for love, happiness, respect and power. Porn addiction can satisfy these needs of people. That's why you and your brain always come back at porn for more. It is addictive for sure but if you can find the way to satisfy these needs in the beginning, it will not develop into serious addiction.

    All of us started the porn addiction since teenager. These are the turbulent years that everyone has changed a lot in relationship with everything in life. This is when we were weakest. I remember I couldn't talk to anybody when I first discovered porn. Many things happened at school and life and I always found porn was pleasure and a good stuff to escape the harsh reality of life and the change from teen to adolescent and adult. I didn't know it was dangerous but I felt guilty after that. When it really got a hold of you and enslaved you, you could realize that but it was too late to escape that. We become dependent on porn addiction already. There is no easy way out of porn addiction, just like alcohol and drug addiction. It hijacks your brain and leads you to the dark like Embrace said.
     
  9. Ayman.kas

    Ayman.kas Fapstronaut

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    My 2 cents is basically because I was depressed. For a long time, I thought masturbation was a natural action for the body to release energy whether it would be through imagination or porn. However like you when I really gutted it down to the bone, I realised I was depressed and had to masturbate atleast 3-5 times days so I could have that 'happy feeling' in short bursts. Sometimes I was would go 3 in a row.
    It wasn't until I got dumped that I couldn't do it anymore because I hated the feeling. It just hurt. Then I put the dots together of masturbation, being dumped and porn. When it came down to it, it was because of depression and loneliness. Now that I'm restraining myself from it for atleast 30 days and I'm 4 days in, trust when I say I feel joy.
     
  10. Embrace

    Embrace Fapstronaut

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    What's interesting though, is that I think we are all pre-disposed towards certain addictions.
    I had been smoking since before I started to develop serious porn issues, and yet I've never found it to be addictive, I only did it because everybody else was and I never liked it as much as my friends who were all smoking a pack a day.
    I think that I was destined for porn addiction, and if porn didn't exist, I would have been a sex addict.[/QUOTE]

    THIS

    Interestingly I never got so attarcted to smoking or achohol or even drugs. Porn was the stuff. I wasn t shy and afraid, I think I would have become seriously addcited to sex. I even had a very shallow try and wow, yes, that would have been my drug of choice. I even admit to have been in relationships, only now I can admit this, 90 percent just for the sex and some friendships. Ny talk of marriage or family or stuff like that, long would make feel like a prison and want to escape. I liked sex, women, their skin, all that stuff, the sensuality of it all. Not just the gross part, but the whole practice of it, while at same time kind of disgusting, it was like, yeah.

    Also I am kind of freaked about unwanted pregnancy and STD. What I would not give, sorry to say, for free of obligation and dangers sex with someone I resonate with....
     

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