Porn addiction and anxiety symbiotic relationship

I fell off a few days ago. I probably wouldn't have if i weren't drunk and on phenibut but at the same time I had been wanting to badly for several weeks prior to the point where it pretty much felt inevitable. I even used the panic button several times and got brought back off the cliff but that only works for like a day theres no way i could have done it for every intense urge.

It was odd because prior to that i had a 55 day streak that was only broken by accident (didnt realize avoiding p still effed me up even if i didn't o) and again i say accident because it wasnt a result of any urge to do it (I'm into PE as ive admitted elsewhere.)

Anyway, as i struggle here with intense urges and heavy anxiety which feels very familiar it occured to me that the two go hand in hand. porn use doesnt just cause my anxiety its caused by my anxiety

i guess i say this rather obvious stuff to say that it's crazy just how much of a difference it has made. like for those 55 days, i needed absolutely nothing to keep me from not watching porn it was like I just forgot it existed most of the time but once something happens in my life that triggers anxiety the porn urges become unbearable. i mean i do feel different as a person--stronger, more confident, more focused but the degree to which I want to do it is about the same...

While of course i'm committed to a full reboot, I realize now I have to do all I can to live a relatively anxiety free life for the next 90 days at the very least and if i know a BIG tidal wave of anxiety is coming (i work in freelance so a job ending without another one being lined up) then being on extra alert is crucial.

also id say for anxious types like myself too much research and discussion can be a bad thing because it promotes obsessive thoughts. idk. just my two cents.