Porn addiction and collection of movies

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by slash74, Apr 5, 2020.

  1. slash74

    slash74 New Fapstronaut

    1
    2
    3
    Hello,

    I am new here because of my porn addiction I cannot solve.

    My main problem is about time management, I started downloading porn many years ago (15 years I guess) and I kept all movies since then.

    I see porn like a collection. I collect scenes because they are all different, different actors, different scenario, different style or categories...
    I was a teenager when I started, my brother bought cd's with few scenes, mainly nude photos and solo girls playing with dildos, it was my first thrill. I was 14 I guess.

    Then friends gave me more explicit porn, then the internet came I I started downloading porn because they are so much to see and to discover !

    I started buying hard drives in order to save more and more videos. Then I started saving it in the cloud.

    During my free time, when I sit with my laptop, I often try to find porn, I don't want to actually watch porn or watch porn I already have, I crave finding new scenes, I spend hours, or the full week end searching for scenes or categories or specific porn.

    Then I download it, I watch quickly all the new videos I got, I masturbate on my favorite, then I rename it, add comments, descriptions, remaster it to keep my favorite scenes, archive it in different folders or upload it.

    This is a nightmare, I cannot control my time, I waste so much time on that activity!
    I knew people collecting stuffs like coins, stamps, etc... and I thought it was the worse thing in life to waste time like that. I realized that I'm doing the same. I wish I could stop seeing porn on my laptop and stop my ideas of trying to grab new porn material so often!

    After I graduate I could not imagine myself doing that for ever so I decided to move away and travel, I traveled for 3 years abroad, I stopped collecting porn because I had other things to do like working, living with my girlfriend. Other things helped me like living in a flat share without much intimacy, a bad internet connection, more outside activities...

    When I came back from traveling and got my own flat I started again. I went back on the internet to search for porn, HD porn...

    After masturbating I realize how pointless it is but I am probably a collector, and the thrill of getting new material excite me, that's why I continue. I wish I could take a pill to stop this addiction !

    Now I realize that my only way to stop would be to spend the minimum time at home! So I could not be by myself and my laptop. Maybe going back to a flatshare. Installing a porn shield. I fear deleting my porn collection because I might try to rebuilt it, and it would be a disaster and so much time wasted to get all the videos back !

    Maybe you have other advice ? I want to get my time back !

    Thank you for reading :)
     
  2. Just delete it all bro. Right now. And if you could use a little of support then feel free to join our accountability server: https://discord.gg/KUqGmkB
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2020
  3. Baowistop

    Baowistop Fapstronaut

    137
    564
    93
    I would definitely hit ctrl+a+DEL
     
  4. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

    508
    869
    93
    Deleting years of collected videos can be really liberating and a great first step in order to battle porn as a whole
     
  5. Sheepishly

    Sheepishly Fapstronaut

    158
    165
    43
    Do it bro. I had the exact same feeling and I DID that last month, all the stuff in my hard drive plus all of my online accounts of porn sites and shit that I hv uploaded. It helps in the recovery as it's a strong message to your brain.
     
  6. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

    862
    1,069
    123
    Delete it. 'Building a collection' is a false idea you are trying to justify that your time hasn't been wasted. Even if you try and build the collection again, there is nothing to be 'saved' by keeping your stash except the admission that you aren't serious about moving in the right direction.
     
  7. Arthurian

    Arthurian New Fapstronaut

    1
    1
    1
    I can put myself on this similar condition. But again I used to watch porn and save them in my mobile phone. Please provide a strict solution that may help to get rid of this kinda situation.
     
    TambourineNThyme likes this.
  8. Raven King

    Raven King Fapstronaut

    Delete it all. Not worth keeping. Also, if you associate with being at home with watching porn, I recommend trying to get outside more (when you can). Meet with friends, go for walks, find a new hobby, join some group or organization with similar interests as you. Keeping yourself busy is important in recovery. When you get bored, it's easy to go back to the old familiar crap (pmo).
     
    TambourineNThyme likes this.
  9. MrFabu

    MrFabu Fapstronaut

    34
    214
    33
    Deleting these videos will be very usefull beginnig. You are not that person who where collecting them before. You now know and understands u have a real problem and addiction. So u aren't like before. You are more aware now. Its offcourse wont solve the whole problem but its an essential step u have to make to let urself see how much serious u are about quitting
     
    TambourineNThyme likes this.
  10. Jolie999

    Jolie999 Fapstronaut

    11
    32
    13
    Just delete it .and you will free .
     
    TambourineNThyme likes this.
  11. Part of your addiction is the search. It never ends. So, as above, delete. But my fear is you will begin searching again. Every other guy here can relate. Change your life now.
     
    TambourineNThyme likes this.
  12. Rewind92

    Rewind92 Fapstronaut

    14
    22
    3
    I feel ya bro. I'm exactly or should I say was the same. I sometimes had the same video twice if they were in two different categories. had 4 4 terabyte hardrives full of the stuff.

    Just delete it. You'll spend a few days realising how much time you've wasted but you'll feel better for it.

    Good Luck :)
     

Share This Page