Porn Addiction has caused me to escalate to things that I'm not even into.

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PornHasRuinedMe2255

Fapstronaut
I started watching porn regularly at a very young age. I was exposed to porn around the age of 10 and began watching it on my own around age 12-13. Since then I've compulsively watched porn multiple times a day, I hate it. I am now 20 years old and in the past few years I have escalated to things that I am not actually even into just because they are the only thing that can give that dopamine rush anymore. It started a few years ago with that step sister fetish you see on pornhub all the time, then it moved onto things like BDSM and a daddy kink, after that more taboo forced fantasies. I knew i hated it but continued anyway because of the crave for that bigger dopamine hit. Around 2 years ago it hit the point where i was like "What the fuck am I doing?" when i escalated to Trans porn. It distressed me because I have never been attracted to men in my life, in real life I have only ever felt arousal, attraction, and had crushes on women. Hell, my sexual awakening was a video i saw of a girl in yoga pants lol. But at the same time it created this anxiety that caused more sexual tension thus making the dopamine hit stronger. Since then I have escalated to femboy/gay porn because its one of the only things my fucked up brain isn't desensitized to yet and I hate it. Only because I know it doesn't reflect me, I know that I am straight. I always end up feeling disgusted immediately after and DURING masturbating to those fetishes. And as of recently, I've even started to grow numb to them. That's why I am here, I hate what porn has done to me, the way it's fucked up my sense of attraction and made me lose myself. I don't want to escalate any further, I've already crossed into territory that isn't me, I don't want to get worse. If anyone else has experienced this or at least understands can you give me some advice or at least some encouragement that I can reverse this and get the real me back?
 
I can 100% relate to your story because it is similar to mine. I was first addicted to lesbian porn and remember one day i was searching for a new video to watch and somehow my lesbian porn search led to a trans porn video. My first reaction was to close it and find something normal (like porn is really normal). But the next day I was there again looking for that trans porn. For the longest time I would flip flop back and forth between lesbian and trans porn. It even got so bad that I called a couple of trans escorts, but never followed through on meeting them. Eventually over time I moved onto gay porn. Like you I would watch it and thing "what the f am i doing?" I knew it was the escalation factor because I have never been attracted to guys. My rock bottom moment was doing phone sex with a guy.

I got serious about NoFap after that and I successfully quit porn. It took some time for me but I got back to feeling normal and found that any attraction that was created because of porn went away. I can't tell you how long it will take but quit porn and you'll get back to normal.
 
I_Am_Strong_54 said:
I can 100% relate to your story because it is similar to mine. I was first addicted to lesbian porn and remember one day i was searching for a new video to watch and somehow my lesbian porn search led to a trans porn video. My first reaction was to close it and find something normal (like porn is really normal). But the next day I was there again looking for that trans porn. For the longest time I would flip flop back and forth between lesbian and trans porn. It even got so bad that I called a couple of trans escorts, but never followed through on meeting them. Eventually over time I moved onto gay porn. Like you I would watch it and thing "what the f am i doing?" I knew it was the escalation factor because I have never been attracted to guys. My rock bottom moment was doing phone sex with a guy.

I got serious about NoFap after that and I successfully quit porn. It took some time for me but I got back to feeling normal and found that any attraction that was created because of porn went away. I can't tell you how long it will take but quit porn and you'll get back to normal.
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Thank you, I'm glad I'm not the only who has been through this. Do you have any advice on how to start nofap and quitting porn?
 
PornHasRuinedMe2255 said:
I started watching porn regularly at a very young age. I was exposed to porn around the age of 10 and began watching it on my own around age 12-13. Since then I've compulsively watched porn multiple times a day, I hate it. I am now 20 years old and in the past few years I have escalated to things that I am not actually even into just because they are the only thing that can give that dopamine rush anymore. It started a few years ago with that step sister fetish you see on pornhub all the time, then it moved onto things like BDSM and a daddy kink, after that more taboo forced fantasies. I knew i hated it but continued anyway because of the crave for that bigger dopamine hit. Around 2 years ago it hit the point where i was like "What the fuck am I doing?" when i escalated to Trans porn. It distressed me because I have never been attracted to men in my life, in real life I have only ever felt arousal, attraction, and had crushes on women. Hell, my sexual awakening was a video i saw of a girl in yoga pants lol. But at the same time it created this anxiety that caused more sexual tension thus making the dopamine hit stronger. Since then I have escalated to femboy/gay porn because its one of the only things my fucked up brain isn't desensitized to yet and I hate it. Only because I know it doesn't reflect me, I know that I am straight. I always end up feeling disgusted immediately after and DURING masturbating to those fetishes. And as of recently, I've even started to grow numb to them. That's why I am here, I hate what porn has done to me, the way it's fucked up my sense of attraction and made me lose myself. I don't want to escalate any further, I've already crossed into territory that isn't me, I don't want to get worse. If anyone else has experienced this or at least understands can you give me some advice or at least some encouragement that I can reverse this and get the real me back?
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Yes, it happens to me. Simply put, my sex addiction stemmed from fetishes / sadism. I started masturbating at 12 y/o but I hated porn at that time, I thought porn was too much for me. At first, I only masturbated through visualization of the fantasies. But as time went by, it became like this:

Visualization > Images > Videos > Making sadistic scenes from video games > BDSM / Torture scenes (porn sites)
​
And in recent years, I can't believe I become attracted to porn, which I once hated it. I can totally relate to you, I also had a "what the fxxk am I doing" feeling, once I realized my addiction has gone too far.

I have been on PMO for around 20 years. Yet, I think everything can be undone if I really want it. So here I am now, trying to quit it forever.
 
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PornHasRuinedMe2255 said:
Thank you, I'm glad I'm not the only who has been through this. Do you have any advice on how to start nofap and quitting porn?
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The only piece of advice I can offer (and it worked for me) is that when you feel the urge to watch porn, find something else to do with your time. When I got serious about quitting porn, I started keeping a detailed journal, writing how I felt before and after watching porn. Through this journal I was able to identify my root cause for watching porn and be able to address it. Much to my surprise I was watching porn out of boredom. Working from home and it's a slow day, I would watch porn. It's the weekend and I had nothing to do, I would watch porn. I was not watching porn when I had plenty of work to do or something to do or somewhere to go on the weekend. Now when I have the urge to watch porn, I find something to occupy my mind for 5-10 minutes and the urge is gone. It could be something simple like going for a quick walk, or a 5 minute workout, or cleaning the house a little bit, read a book, just something to occupy my mind and preferable away from any screens.
 
CodeTalker said:
Feels like trans/femboy porn is like the end of the road for an addict. So many end up there it's so sad. I'm truly blessed that I never crossed that line, but I have my problems too...
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I'm not sure if that's true. I've watched it a few times but never got hooked. I went through a short phase a few years back where for a few weeks I only watched porn where a transwoman would have sex with real (regular) women. Not sure why I was into it and why I dropped it so fast. But it provided some evidence to me just how flexible sexuality really is.
 
TimeToQuitNow said:
I'm not sure if that's true. I've watched it a few times but never got hooked. I went through a short phase a few years back where for a few weeks I only watched porn where a transwoman would have sex with real (regular) women. Not sure why I was into it and why I dropped it so fast. But it provided some evidence to me just how flexible sexuality really is.
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Have you watch those hypno video? Maybe that's why so many get hooked.
 
CodeTalker said:
Feels like trans/femboy porn is like the end of the road for an addict. So many end up there it's so sad. I'm truly blessed that I never crossed that line, but I have my problems too...
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It's not the end road, cp is. I watched every type of porn from straight to trans/gay which made me question myself for a year now. But it can get way worse, like gore, snuff, or animal stuff that I was watched in my life. I even developed a submissive thing that just made things worse and it's just from porn. In real life, I'll never do that, but spending much of my time inside the house, alone, without a girlfriend...you'll just keep watching some f up things that will make you question who you are as a person.
 
Robert.G99 said:
It's not the end road, cp is. I watched every type of porn from straight to trans/gay which made me question myself for a year now. But it can get way worse, like gore, snuff, or animal stuff that I was watched in my life. I even developed a submissive thing that just made things worse and it's just from porn. In real life, I'll never do that, but spending much of my time inside the house, alone, without a girlfriend...you'll just keep watching some f up things that will make you question who you are as a person.
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Yeah I guess it can always get worse... But I feel like trans porn is the moment people realize how bad can porn affect their daily life.
 
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