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Porn addiction is only the tip of the iceberg. We're dealing with Hypersexuality (sex addiction)

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by ultrafabber, Oct 16, 2018.

  1. Oct 16, 2018 #1
    ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    This is the Hypersexual Behavior Inventory http://www.pathwaysinstitute.net/websitepdf/HBI-19.pdf

    Notice how it overlaps with just about all our "porn addiction". I keep saying this for a long time, Porn, masturbation, sexual fantasizing are a manifestation of Hypersexuality and we need to take it very seriously. Just abstaining from porn is not enough. We have to stop sexual fantasizing and masturbation, as they're basically triggering the same pathways.

    1. I use sex to forget about the worries of daily life.

    2. Even though I promised myself I would not repeat a sexual behavior, I find myself returning to it over and over again.

    3. Doing something sexual helps me feel less lonely.

    4. I engage in sexual activities that I know I will later regret.

    5. I sacrifice things I really want in life in order to be sexual.

    6. I turn to sexual activities when I experience unpleasant feelings (e.g. frustration, sadness, anger).

    7. My attempts to change my sexual behavior fail.

    8. When I feel restless, I turn to sex in order to soothe myself.

    9. My sexual thoughts and fantasies distract me from accomplishing important tasks.

    10. I do things sexually that are against my values and beliefs.

    11. Even though my sexual behavior is irresponsible or reckless, I find it difficult to stop.

    12. I feel like my sexual behavior is taking me in a direction I don’t want to go.

    13. Doing something sexual helps me cope with stress.

    14. My sexual behavior controls my life.

    15. My sexual cravings and desires feel stronger than my self-discipline.

    16. Sex provides a way for me to deal with emotional pain I feel.

    17. Sexually, I behave in ways I think are wrong.

    18. I use sex as a way to try and help myself deal with my problems.

    19. My sexual activities interfere with aspects of my life such as work or school.
     
    ultrafabber, Oct 16, 2018
    ultrafabber, Oct 16, 2018
    #1
    Nugget9, Deleted Account, TimeToQuitNow and 1 other person like this.
  2. Oct 16, 2018 #2
    jcrew12

    jcrew12 New Fapstronaut

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    An astute observation! PMO is a manifestation of sex addiction. It is the most technologically current version of it in fact.

    And sex addiction is one of many addictions-a drug used in concert with behavior to avoid pain.
     
    jcrew12, Oct 16, 2018
    jcrew12, Oct 16, 2018
    #2
    Nugget9, ultrafabber and HereAndThere like this.
  3. Oct 17, 2018 #3
    slapdad jones

    slapdad jones Fapstronaut

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    I think that this is entirely accurate. I believe that your mental state is the key to acting out. It is said that all thoughts are like the clouds in the sky, they pass by and shadow over you but inevitably move on.
    Our thoughts are the key to the whole enchilada. If I spend 20 minutes an hour fixating on someone or very vividly visualizing a fictional sexual encounter, Im just marinating in that consciousness. It produces suffering for me because its a very very intense wanting that I cant have. So I look at porn for the release.
    Maintaining a vigilant mind and redirecting the subjects I place my attention on is the only proactive thing that will keep me from engaging in a behavior I dont wish to participate in. It is difficult though. It is a crutch for all the reasons on that list, and if Im being honest, I enjoy it. Thats why its so hard to stop. I feel like it has become such a part of me that it is like taking away my sense of humor.
    I quit smoking and drinking sometime ago because I acted irresponsibly, put myself and other peoples lives at risk, and generally caused a lot of pain. That seems like a piece of cake compared to this.
    Other than post O shame at looking at digital images and masturbating in front of a computer screen, I actually feel calmer afterwards. I know though that morally it is a baseless action and I am trying to generally live a higher quality life. We all have our own personal issues to deal with, whether its gambling or food, what have you. This is my thing, and Im trying to get on the upside of who's in charge around here. Most of the time it aint me and I dont like that.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2018
    slapdad jones, Oct 17, 2018
    slapdad jones, Oct 17, 2018
    #3
    Nugget9, Deleted Account and ultrafabber like this.
  4. Oct 18, 2018 #4
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I did that test and I scored 95/95. Fully hypersexual.

    My Sexual Addiction Risk Assessment (SARA) score is 18.

    I also meet the diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder and Dependent Personality Disorder.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 18, 2018
    Deleted Account, Oct 18, 2018
    Deleted Account, Oct 18, 2018
    #4

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