Porn addiction turned to escorts

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by sunni123, Feb 14, 2017.

  1. sunni123

    sunni123 Fapstronaut

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    Before I started my first reboot in early 2014, i never ever, ever, thought about going to escorts. At that time it was an extreme. When I was doing my reboot, my recently divorced wife was trying to help me and we blocked my way around it, with web filters and such. Which was good, i didn't pick my computer up for a long time but I still found ways. Mobile, proxy websites, I went to *redacted* and rented dvds. The Xbox loophole where you can block one account but can add a new one and not be blocked... so I still lied and deceived my wife and everyone anround me. But the porn was still restricted like the forbidden fruit. And I couldn't fight the urge, and at times I embraced it and didn't give a flying fuck. Poor character.

    I got a 2nd job. (Pro athlete-personal trainer) and was making more money. Then when I was doing the pmo, I began having thoughts about "fuck it, why not get a hooker?" This compulsiveness that this addiction had on me, in my opinion, was bottled up. That it imploded and popped back up somewhere else. The urges and the compulsion for short term reward evolved into paying for sex. Something I thought I would never do. Maybe on top of this addiction, the thought of having the money to do more things, just fueled the fire. Instead of supporting my new family, I supported my addiction.

    This evolution ended my marriage, and is currently hurting my 9 month old daughter because her mother is a mess. I never dealt with the issue, I lied about it, and was dishonest to my family about it.

    Did this evolution happen to anyone of you? Did you see yourself saying one thing before but now it's reality? Did anyone else have an evolution of their addiction?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 15, 2017
    tweeby likes this.
  2. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    I had evolution. From gay porn to gay acting out. To nervous breakdowns and that ruined my life. Lost mental balance, self respect, friends, career. Still regret not seeking help when I was addicted.

    I've stopped watching porn and now the bdsm porn (that i would crave for earlier) is gone now. Last few times i saw that porn i felt discomfort, so i guess some rebooting is happening.

    Wish it had happened before the breakdown...
     
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  3. im_alive

    im_alive Fapstronaut

    Mine has escalated to a full blown escort addiction. I've been seeing escorts for years now. It's not a great place to be.
     
  4. I've had this problem too, and it brought me to this site. A few months ago, I attempted to indulge. An attempt which led to me almost being robbed by one escort and ripped off by another. In quick succession, I might add. Part of the reason I think porn leads to this is that there's no context in the films, and this leads us to wanting quick and dirty scenarios instead of building relationships. If someone is reading this and considering "ordering out", just know this: I've been with an escort before, and I honestly believe a corpse would be more responsive. Trust me. Take the time to make a real connection. She's worth it, and so are you. So is he, if that's your thing.
     
  5. im_alive

    im_alive Fapstronaut

    I'm a 'business' owner. Which gives me a lot of freedom. When business gets tough, I have the time where I can slope off and see an escort.

    This costs me 4 x the money.

    1 - the time spent searching for an escort, therefore not getting any work done to bring money in.
    2 - the time travelling to and from the escort and seeing the escort.
    3 - the actual cost of the escort.
    4 - the next day, in shame, deleting tracks and trying to find out the reason why the hell I keep doing this.

    Yesterday I spent all day, and evening, looking for and seeing 2 escorts. I spent £160

    last week I spent £25 (yes she was rough!) and half day looking.

    week before £100 and .75 of a day looking / seeing

    week before that £60 and half a day looking / seeing

    before that though I had gone 30 days without seeing anyone or looking at porn.
     
  6. JohnB

    JohnB New Fapstronaut

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    I tooam in the same boat. Have been fighting pmo since December, the max no of days i could do was 10.. but i keep relapsing and lost count on no of relapses.
    I tried with hooker too and waste 2 hrs daily going thru hooker ads and their reviews.
    I am expecting a baby, but still am unable to fight the good fight.. have been jobless for almost half year and I'm still failing.
     
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  7. im_alive

    im_alive Fapstronaut

    It's a problem for sure. I have asked the admin if we can have a section dedicated to people that have an escort addiction.
     
  8. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    For me, it was always "sex addiction". Not just "porn addiction".
    It is an addiction, because:

    a) We suppress and hide our true emotions. Instead of living them openly, we live them in dark corners
    b) We get aroused already by the idea of doing something "secretly"
    c) It is never enough. Even if we have super-satisfying sex with our partner, we are still missing something - we want more, need it harder, more special, more people, in other places, etc.

    Overall, the addiction is a way to "cope" with life, it is an escape from fears, doubts, critics, from taking decisions .
     
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  9. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Of course. And beware. The next step are then secret affairs with married women. It escalates all the time.

    We must work on the underlying issues. Stop with suppressing emotions and lying to ourselves.
     
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  10. im_alive

    im_alive Fapstronaut

    Thanks @SnowWhite - it's very scary the depths these addictions can scale too.

    What you say about working on the underlying issues is so true. Thanks for posting
     
  11. KrmGrn

    KrmGrn Fapstronaut

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    It's definitely a common problem. Novelty seeking in porn addiction can lead to seeing escorts and increasingly risky activity. It's good to start getting help and changing now before you go further.
     
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  12. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Fapstronaut

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    God I love this website. All these things about underlying issues and build ups are so true. You don't even notice it happen.
    i'm a 19 yr old virgin with my whole sexual life ahead if me. The other day, in a moment of porn fueled compulsivebess and desperation, I was this close to just taking a bus ti a prostitute, until my phone miraculously broke.
    This post has really helped me understand how I came to that point. I really thank my lucky stars that I didn't do that. It would have been devastating for me, emotionally and for my future.
    Thanks for the good work, keep posting
     
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  13. Veritech

    Veritech Fapstronaut

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    We see in porn women who will just have sex with a guy on the spot.

    How we wish we could be that guy.

    We then act out and hire an escort. The trickery we fall for the so called "girlfriend experience" or "porn star experience".

    Just like porn, escorts lead to thoughts of shame, regret and guilt.
     
  14. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    The first step in SA is a complete sexual history. You write it down, all of it, as much as you can remember. You then read it to the group. This is crazy difficult but if you really want to find the underlying issues, start with the written sexual history. You'll uncover a lot of stuff!!!! I know i did.
     
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  15. im_alive

    im_alive Fapstronaut

    Don't do it buddy. And also don't get to my age (40) and realise you've just pissed 20+ years of your life up the wall due to this addiction.
     
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  16. im_alive

    im_alive Fapstronaut

    Great at time, but a complete shit of a feeling afterwards. Thanks for posting.
     
  17. ladiscoman

    ladiscoman New Fapstronaut

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    The problem is man I've seen people who are 40 who have wasted 20 plus years on dating different girls and are also nowhere.
     
  18. 25 going on 26 year old virgin here, I've kept thinking about this for a while however this post has sort of "shut down" my thought process for it in the best possible way. Thank you as well for putting things into an even greater perspective.
     
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  19. popcornkiller

    popcornkiller Fapstronaut

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    I found an escort before, its already being 1 year but I keep craving for escort, it is really danger
     
  20. Sensitive subject... I have used escorts as an alternative to porn. Because when you are trying to get over your porn addiction, you really want to get the real thing. A girl. Social anxiety makes it very complicated. Meeting girls through approaches is not impossible but difficult. Online dating works but then its like a rollercoaster. Ups and downs, good months and bad months. When its not going the way you want it to, you start thinking about the porn again. So the escorts feels like the lesser of two evils. You are not masturbating, you are not watching porn and you are with a real girl.

    One of the biggest driving factors I used to justify using escorts was, experimenting with condoms so i would know which ones work best for PIED... Because lets face it you NEED the real thing otherwise you are just going to turn to porn and masturbating again... And it feels like an easy way to practice because the escorts don't care that much. I would argue that it would feel a lot worse if it was a girl you liked. Or your GF, because they don't always understand what the problem is. You cant expect them to understand what NoFap is.
     
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