Porn and Social networks addiction

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Pepa, May 11, 2019.

  1. Pepa

    Pepa Fapstronaut

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    Hi everybody,
    I have problems with two addictions and one problem with my bothered fantasies. I am engaged, have 3 child and family, not married.
    I think my biggest problems are fantasies about having sex with other girls than mine. This fantasy bothers me a lot and I spent a lot of time because of it. And I have two addictions, maybe as a result of this fantasy. Watching porn a lot and going to social media networks and chatting with girls in order to find some girls for sex. I spent a lot of time with chatting, trying to persuade them etc. Of course it is problem to persuade some girl to have sex with engaged man. In spite of this I spent a lot of time with chatting with them, watching porn etc.
    This time I should use for my job, family etc. and something inside me is stronger then me.I am crazy with this situation. A lot of time throwing away because of social media, porn and fantasies.
    Please do you have some advice for me? Somebody advised me to be 90 days without porn and social networks and if I will persevere and will be successful, I should take some professional girl as a gift and fulfill my fantasies. Than I will have a lot of time for me, family and work and fantasies will be closed. Sounds good, but I struggle with myself 3 years to be loyal to my girlfriend and I am loyal, but this fantasies take me crazy.
    What do you think about it? Some other advice?
    Thanks
     
  2. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

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    Diagnosis is simple, you are not feeling ok, you have anxiety, low self esteem and mild depression.
    You are seeking ways to cope.

    You fix this by fixing your life and health first, get out of depression and then your cravings will disappear.
    Same advice as to anyone else:
    Eat quality food
    Exercise
    Spend time with people, like friends
    Spend time with your family and kids
    Do chores and difficult things at work or home

    In addition to poor diet modern humans skip normal activities, like walking, cooking, interacting with others face to face. All these things are rewarding and work to make you feel good.
    Yes cleaning your house makes you feel good, taking garbage out makes you feel good, making coffee yourself makes you feel good, cooking your own food makes you feel good, exercise makes you feel good.
    All these small feel good things add up to you being positive, motivated focused individual but what do we do - we avoid them, and never get benefits slide in to depression where life is a blur and then seek ways to feel better.
    Some find alcohol, some find drugs and some find porn or affairs.
     
  3. Pepa

    Pepa Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Ronila,
    Thanks for your answer.
    but I have no motivation to stop with this. No power.I dont care about my work, because I hate it, boring for me. My job is not physical work,it is mental, hard to think in this state. I have to concentrate a lot, but it is nonsense because my fantasies interrupted me. Instead of work a lot of times I chatting with girls, watching porn. I hate my job, maybe myself also and I have problem to find some better job. There is nothing what I like, besides girls (but I am engaged, girls are forbidden for me and I am not interesting for them in this state). My hobby, there is nothing I finish to the end, I am so distracted, diffused. No motivation to stop social media, or porn...maybe I need some motivation to do it, some motivation to achieve this goal (no porn, no social media,NoFap...). Motivation, or gift, I dont know. I am so tired of this fantasy and everything.
    Thanks
     
  4. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    I have a suggestion for you. Instead of trying to stop, just keep going the way you are, and for the meantime, find someone who needs an AP and try to help them.

    I know it’s not easy to get energy to stop and change directions. I was there last month. I did pmo 2-3 a day, edging not sleep all the bad things; I felt lifeless and I couldn’t pick myself up. I tried to focus on giving others encouragement and somewhere along the way I started to see what to do.

    You can be or need to have an AP. Mine saved me from myself.
     
  5. Pepa

    Pepa Fapstronaut

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    Thanks,
    maybe my biggest addiction is addiction to social network and there trying to find and seduce girls...and I am not successful, because it is virtual world only, a lot of girls are there because they are bored at work o home, make some funny, promised something to the man and do not meet finally...it takes me a lot fo time to chat with them without results...on the other way which girl will have sex with engaged guy...they are moralistic a lot.
    Maybe my biggest addiction is the addiction to searching for help in books, seminars, videos, psychologists etc
    and maybe I am addicted to desire to have real sex with some new girls...but there is a problem with my engagement, I am engaged and force myself to be loyal to my girlfriend, i have never cheat her.
    This chatting with girls and watching porn takes me a lot of time, I know it but I dont have willpower or reason, or motivation to change it.
    There is a reason to visit professional privat girl such as motivation or gift to take away porn, chatting and save a lot of time...something like win win. More time for me, my family and dont spent time on porn and social networks?
    Thanks
     
  6. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Yes I understand exactly what you mean. There is a unique dopamine rush that comes from talking to new ppl online.

    The tough task is to let go something that causes you pleasure.

    What things have you ever let go of that was pleasureful but damaging to your health?
     
  7. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    Wtf?
     
    Targaryenn likes this.
  8. Pepa

    Pepa Fapstronaut

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    maybe?because I dont know how else to motivate myself...to be without social networks without porn...maybe OK, but is there a way how to take off my fantasies from my head? I think,. no
     
  9. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Ikr.
     
  10. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    Do you really need a prostitute to motivate yourself? What kind of man are you? What kind of man do you want to be? You need to answer these questions. Do not lie to yourself. What is more, if you set this "reward" then you accept your fantasies and accept living in relationship you cannot fulfill your desires and needa in. You accept living in a big lie. Trust me, it is not the way you want to go.

    I think your problem is excessive need of attention and acceptance. You should consider it.

    There is no magic solution for your problem. No reward, no motivational quote, no promise can change your behavior if you are not devoted to change. You need to start with little steps, setting healthier routine by eating healthier, exercising regularly and spending some time on relaxing activities such as reading, listening to music or meditation. You need to feel comfortable with yourself and then understand deeply that you don't want to talk with stranger girls. You don't need them to accept you, you don't need to impress them and so on.

    How you will describe your relationship with current partner?
     
  11. Pepa

    Pepa Fapstronaut

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    everything good but sex is little bit boring. She has a problem with orgasm, something different with my 3 ex girlfriends before, they had no problems with this, with me, it was crazy :-(
    and maybe I am addicted on boobs also :)need new boobs in fantasies, porns etc,new girls with new boobs...

    maybe I dont need the accept for them I only would like to have sex with them...new boobs, new sex, fullfillment of fantasies?
    I am horny from fantasy of seduction, to seduce shy girl, or friend. I know, it is better than prostitute. But, I dont know what will be changed if I will have sex with some other girl, if I seduced some girl, no prostitute. Maybe it is the same. To seduce some girl or to pay to prostitute as a goal...
    Sorry if I am disgusting for You, I only try to be honest about my problem :-(

    Finally I have a dilema. If I fully accept myself, with my fantasies and shadows that is the solution than I will not have a need to search for other girls?why?
    Thanks
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2019
  12. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    Maybe you should ask her and discuss the issue with orgasm? Maybe you can improve your oral skills if she is more sensitive for it? Not every girl can climax during an intercourse, so other solutions can work too. What is really important: using porn makes normal stuff boring to you. When you stop PMO then sex with your women will be more exciting.

    There is no big difference. You need to decide who you are and what do you want - be in commited relationship or chasing random girls. I think you should start with 90 day reboot before making this decision, because porn use can change your tastes and desires.

    You are not disgusting me. I'm here to help, not to judge anyone.

    The questio is if these fantasies are your own or only porn induced.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  13. Pepa

    Pepa Fapstronaut

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    Ye, we tried some things like tantra etc... she does not like oral, she doesnt want it, maybe because she is too shy,I dont know. I know how to make orgasm in her, but it is boring for me each time doing the sex in the same way in order to achieve her orgasm:)

    These fantasies are mine...and I was trying to find porn which looks like my fantasies the most

    I am still thinking about acccepting of myself...if I fully accepting myself if I will have the same fantasies
     
  14. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    So you should left her alone and go fulfill your desires. Maybe you will lose excuse that some girls are not interested in you only because of relationship, but eventually you will find or hire a girl to do it. What is the problem? You are only interested in yourself, why do you need women for a long term?
     
  15. Pepa

    Pepa Fapstronaut

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    we have a family together, 3 child...everything is OK, only my fantasies are problem.And her orgasm? Maybe it is a challenge for me to be better and better lower, and make our relationship deeper and deeper....but my fantasies are problem...but I believe that my reboot will help, no porn,no social networks...but girls on the street make me fantasies also...real girls...and I think each man has this
     
  16. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    I don't have fantasies about stranger girls, so no every man has. Be aware of such excuses, like "each man masturabtates, each man has weird fantasies about strangers, each man uses porn, each man is bored by his girl". It is bullshit. What I want to say is that you need to understand that fantasies are not surely your own and natural. You feed them, so they are developing and retaking your life.
     
  17. Pepa

    Pepa Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. Do You have some advice how to stop feeding this fantasies?
    Not watching porn ,not speak, meat or chat with girls about sex, of course this is important...but what else?
    Concentrate on my breath where fantasies are here, make some sports, exercises, and what else?
    thanks
     

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