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Porn as a companion

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Udy, May 11, 2021.

  1. May 11, 2021 #1
    Udy

    Udy Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,
    I would like to have some suggestions if possible? I have tried to quit porn from time to time. Its not easy and that's why most of us are here and some people are helping us to try to be sober. I am a goal oriented person and I like to write down my goals each day. The problem is I have sustained a long term injury and my goals include dancing and bodybuilding and both seem to be off for an indefinite period. I have worked really hard at both and now I feel very anxious not to be able to be doing those things. So now I am using porn to numb myself. Usually it's not a problem but now it's become a vicious circle. I just have a hard time doing things sitting down and to start a new habit/routine which I find difficult already to be a MONSTROSITY of a task. So how do I stop using porn for companionship and what can I do? Does anyone have a similar experience? TIA :)
     
    Udy, May 11, 2021
    Udy, May 11, 2021
    #1
    Christoph108 likes this.
  2. May 11, 2021 #2
    OrganizeInformed

    OrganizeInformed Fapstronaut

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    Hey sorry to hear about your injury, I'm guessing there's not much you can do physically at all. One thing that comes to mind though is how they've found rehearsing physical/athletic activity in your mind actually has near the same benefits, I guess in terms sport skills and basically kinesthetic intelligence. Aside from the sexual nature there's the fact that porn is passive information consumption, and something like the imagery exercise requires active participation even if it's mental. While bodybuilding may be only physical you could try this with dancing?
     
    OrganizeInformed, May 11, 2021
    OrganizeInformed, May 11, 2021
    #2
    Udy and Christoph108 like this.
  3. May 11, 2021 #3
    3nigma

    3nigma Fapstronaut

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    Focus on working out the muscles you can work out. Don’t give up exercise completely.
     
    3nigma, May 11, 2021
    3nigma, May 11, 2021
    #3
    Udy, Revanthegrey, PeacefulmindFearlessheart and 1 other person like this.
  4. May 12, 2021 #4
    Julian Baker

    Julian Baker Distinguished Fapstronaut
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    I agree with Jarvy. Also, start investing more time in your overall recovery. Create an all-encompassing dynamic recovery plan. Obviously no one here knows what your injury is, but maybe you can research best practices, diets, stretches, massages, ointments etc.

    What is the injury btw? How bad is it? How did you do it? how long have you been told you need to recover?
     
    Julian Baker, May 12, 2021
    Julian Baker, May 12, 2021
    #4
    Udy likes this.
  5. May 18, 2021 #5
    Udy

    Udy Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys, sorry to not have replied. I had self diagnosed my injury and I thought it's going to be for a long time but it has gone away. I was walking and I didn't stop working out, just stopped doing heavy impact things and I think with movement, it's gone away....
    My question to you guys is that I feel very lonely and I don't have very many friends and I end up using porn for boredom and anxiety. I have a lot of regrets in my mind and to numb that pain as well, I start watching porn and it numbs everything and once I am hooked to porn, the problem goes away from the mind for a while. Also I used to visit a lot of escorts but now I don't have the money and I am not in that kind of environment so thank god... However, even though I can't visit escorts, I just end up viewing the website for reviews and stuff. Its such an addiction and I can't help pmo.
    In my lifetime, I have fallen in love a couple of times and everytime I start talking to a girl I like and who reciprocates I fall in love quickly and I stop watching porn for a brief period because in my opinion it makes me feel less lonely.... because that liking only lasts for a brief period because the conversation stops.
    That's the only time where it has been easy for me to give up porn. Apart from that, I have never been able to give up porn and I masturbate almost daily. Some of my friends tell me that they do it a 2-3times a week and it's very hard for me to wrap that around my head.
    I tried SAA but I couldn't find a proper mentor and that was the longest when I went without porn (19 days without porn but I ended up pmo'ing heaps after I relapses) I have tried believing in God ( I still believe in God but not the cult like feeling I get from religion).
    I have tried to keep myself busy but still I end up making time for porn.
    Also not very close with my blood family so always felt lonely. Not that there was any problem in my parents raising me but still never really seen them as reliable parents for confiding.
    Does anyone have that feeling of chronic loneliness where you feel only another person can fill that void( tried to do it with God, even though I am sooooo grateful to whoever gave me this life, thank you, it's an amazing life). So I don't know if any of it is relatable but I am just putting my problem out there to see if I can get something otherwise I know once I start working and make money, I am going to start having an escort problem which is my addiction. Also yeah, even though everything seems to be pointing to the fact that I should be looking for a relationship( maybe that's how i feel I have narrated it) it's something I am not actively looking for and I am looking for solutions other than that. TIA
     
    Udy, May 18, 2021
    Udy, May 18, 2021
    #5
  6. May 18, 2021 #6
    OrganizeInformed

    OrganizeInformed Fapstronaut

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    I think we need to recognize the need for social health as well as physical health.

    It's interesting how neuroscientists talk about how the way the brain acts when we are addicted is a lot like when we 'fall in love.' So in a way it's natural, but we need to be able to handle it - especially with natural stuff we can't be abstinent over like food and to a lesser extent, sex. But the thing is sexual relating is not necessarily a matter of physically acting out. I think there's benefit to just talking to women you may not want to have sex with, certainly not having an urge to.

    Really to me what it points to is how we need a greater community. Falling in love may be like addiction in another way if people think the ONE is all they need and they ignore every other kind of social connection, that's just not healthy. Also speaking for myself, I think it makes me a bit socially retarded if not just not practiced in social skills.

    And right now we may be improving in some countries but a lot of in person social activity is still shut down, but I keep mentioning this because as someone that's a general internet addict, and more specifically social media addict it's clear to me online interaction is NOT enough. It's actually scary as fuck to me that people seem to think they can just continue online, this will have HUGE social and mental health consequences as far as I'm concerned.

    So in my area there's a church where they're NOT dogmatic at all, and I've started going since they are also one of the few places that opened up. Yes it may not always be exciting, and it's not even about being religious, it's about being social - and we just don't have that many choices now. It doesn't have to be church or anything remotely related to religion IF you can find it, I'm just saying it's not normal or sane to have this much social isolation no matter how many people have gotten used to it in the last 14 months.
     
    OrganizeInformed, May 18, 2021
    OrganizeInformed, May 18, 2021
    #6

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