Porn flashbacks of ex favourite pornstar...

@The_Monk : 1, 2, 5, 10, 17, ....? What's the next numbers? If you don't figure it out, do mindfulness

 

26,37

 

@The_Monk: see. Someone got the attention . It's all about focus. When you focus specifically on something, your focus on something else will be weaken. Boom...flashbacks gone.

 

@The_Monk : breaking news: love between a pornstar and a monk. The guy wants to break up to protect his honor

 

The best thing to remember here, as painful as it must be to admit, is that she doesn't return your feelings. She doesn't know who you are.

I know what you're going through - I can reel off at least 10 guys from porn I developed an almost emotional bond too. And that's absurd; they don't know me and wouldn't look at me twice if they did!

Remember, porn is a fantasy, and the performers should be considered that way too.

Good luck mate.

 

It sounds like there's a lot of emotional energy that's being trapped by your reminiscence of this pornstar. Perhaps you could try going to some meet up groups or something like that - it may be the ideal space to channel some of it into connecting with people who will be able to reciprocate, at the very least, your conversation.

And even if not, it would distract you right?

Best of luck my friend, stay strong x

 

Bro, I am with you . I too love a few and trust me I totally understand how it feels like.

I am from a different country but trust me I have often felt a strong urge to meet her.

Now something that I have tried and it worked (really hope it works for you as well) -
1. Masturbation or porn is an addiction and it is just like any other addiction - smoking etc. So it cannot be left all at once or over night. It will take time. Accept it. If you don't, the guilt that you are not able to leave it will make you do it more.

2. Repetition - remember how we learnt things in childhood ? Mostly by repetition. Why - because this creates an impact on our nervous system and brain and the impressions deepen every time we repeat.

You a cannot stop thinking about her or seeing her videos all of a sudden but you can definitely REDUCE THE FREQUENCY.

First accept the fact that things will take time. These memories have been created over years and will at the least take some days to fade out. And yes - memories do fade out overtime when Not paid attention.

So diverting yourself consciously the next time you start thinking - will help. And every time you are able to hold yourself - reward yourself.

You know what I did - first I thought - I will try to control myself for 15 days and I did - I then one day rewarded myself and saw her video , of course few only and then I was done.

Slowly increased the time and in parallel figured out some other ways to spend time productively.

Now what happens is - we love rewards, so our brain thinks about it more than the regular stuff. You will surely be able to contain yourself. This might sound a bit controversial but it works. As a child were we not excited about the gift our parents or teachers promised when we did well ? We still had thoughts of the gift but the thoughts never troubled us. Instead they made us perform.

Now as a result you will reduce the frequency and help the memories to fade out. In parallel also get busy with some other stuff.

3. DONT RESIST
Human brains are designed to revolt. We do things we are asked not to. Do you agree ???

The next time you get her thoughts - DONT REVOLT or feel guilty. Don't curse your self. Instead just smile and welcome that thought. Give it a min and let it pass.

Just like a ball hit to the wall - the harder we hit the faster it bounces back. The more guilty you feel , the feelings and thoughts will deepen. Instead smile.

This will also take time but when this goes together with your self test of controlling - you will surely see the results .

Over a period of time her video memories will not trouble you.

Believe me even today I get the thoughts and I can recollect intentionally as well but I am not troubled or I don't flow with them. I am able to cut the thought down.

4. READ
read about pornstars , about sex , about our body, our brain and read why we humans think like this. This slowly will take you away from the fantasy world of porn to reality.
That world Is not as enjoyable as it seems/looks. No human can have sex for 40 min continuously. Think about it logically.

These things will surely make you get much better control of your mind. And that's it - you are through. Then even if you get her thoughts , you will tell your mind what to do.

All the best
Your friend.

 

I beg to differ.

 

That's fantasizing. What you do with it is up to you. You can make it work against yourself or vice versa.
The image is appealing to you, then okay. Why? Experience? Fantasy? Taboo? Escape? Desire? PMO addiction?
Find the reason and act on it in a way that further changes your ability to overcome your PMO addiction and be strong and happy.

 

I might be wrong on the time, just quoted my thought.