Porn has changed the way I see women

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by nikotine, Jul 4, 2013.

  1. nikotine

    nikotine Fapstronaut

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    Whenever I see a woman wearing even a slightly sexy dress, my brain immediately goes into pornographic simulation mode, where I picture the real hot girl in my pornographic fantasy. It can be very difficult for me to be simply present with the girl that I am looking at without having graphic sexual scenes starring her in it being played out in my head. I find it deeply troubling that I can't see a woman for just the normal girl that she is, and I instead have to picture her as this sex goddess in my head. Has anyone else gotten over this, or know what I'm talking about?
     
    Rumy likes this.
  2. wastingmydays

    wastingmydays Fapstronaut

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    I don't know if this is similar, but the more I got into PMO, the kinkier the stuff I sought out. And the more my fantasies centered around darker stuff (choking/gagging,gangbang-style "rape" videos, etc). To the point where I'm not sure what I really like, and what I like to watch/read (really into story sites.)

    The guys I've been attracted to have been much more dominant than 5 or 10 years ago. If that's my thing now, ok, I guess. But not being able to tell if it's me or my PMO habits ... that's what I'm wrestling with.

    Again, not sure if this is similar or not, but I think both are examples of how PMO creeps into your brain, to the point where you're not sure what's your brain & what's the PMO.

    From what I've read, it gets better, but not right away.
     
  3. nikotine

    nikotine Fapstronaut

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    There's a lot of research surrounding s&m (sadomasochism) and how its becoming increasingly popular among females. Maybe doing some research on the topic could help you sort out some of the issues you are struggling with.
     
  4. wastingmydays

    wastingmydays Fapstronaut

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    Don't think I can travel down that road at Day 3 -- too much of a trigger, I think.
     
  5. rocketman

    rocketman Fapstronaut

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    How would this help? That sounds like exactly the sort of thing you should divert your mind from while recovering.

    I agree with WMD, too much of a trigger.
     
  6. Capablanca

    Capablanca Fapstronaut

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    Me too and I think that is not unusual. Then, reality can't compete with the fantasies.
     
  7. Reddit

    Reddit Fapstronaut

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    I agree with wastingmydays and rocketman, too much of a trigger. Self-control is hard for me. Let's not deceive ourselves.
     
  8. benignintenz

    benignintenz Fapstronaut

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    I am here for the same reasons as everyone else I guess, but I am aware and have been for some time that my tastes are on the kinkier side. I certainly value the information about sexuality that I would never have encountered with out porn and those who enjoy it. Honestly I would hate to give up what I have gained over the last decades, and would want instead to just be more in control of my habits and relationships. Does that make sense?
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2013
  9. sophie07

    sophie07 Fapstronaut

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    I feel that way
    I don't want to loose certain aspects of my sex life as I do thinks some things if done with respect are loving and can be healthy ......but it making sure to stay in control of it.
    Porn has changed the way I view everyone, and man or woman I see immediately my Brian goes into over drive, how we'd have sex, how they would humiliate me and more I think it I can't stop it.
    Please someone say it's gets easier to block out ur mind? Because porn is not so much problem but it's the ideas from porn that are stuck in my head
     
  10. benignintenz

    benignintenz Fapstronaut

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    It got easier for me. Was/am with a partner who knows my situation and pretty much doesn't want it to go on, but doesn't want to know any details nor does she particularly want to be in a position of support. I mention this as it is possible to make it and maintain your relationship and not have the direct support from your partner.

    As for how to block your mind, I don't really. I think its more like i disassociate from it. I see/observe my own behavior as if I were a 3rd party and that helps to cut the stimulus from the reaction. Might not be expressing it well...
     
  11. NoFapDon

    NoFapDon Fapstronaut

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    @benignintenz. Sounds like you read the power of now. Goodstuff! If you cant get support from you partner who do you get support from?
     
  12. rabksaj

    rabksaj New Fapstronaut

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    I dont know how to start this is my very first post for as I registered today. I am well pleased this website exists where you can share your views on similar levels with others. I have been fapping my entire life 30 years. I tried so hard to quit but never lasted more than a week. fapping is harmful mentally and physically despite what others say cause in my case fapping has withdrawn me and made me a loner and an anti social. its weakened me and I always lacked the energy to do more positive things in life. my interaction with women has been non exidtant and dispite marrying twice I could not fulfill my wife's needs but rather go and fap alone watching porn. fapping has made me impotent but the desire to fap was there but only on a mental level and the physical leve was a limp errection where I would fap chronic. when I would see a fit women I would fantasize her as a porn star and not look at women as normal persons. I could go on and on explaining but it will not end. this site has made me realise that I am not the only one in the same boat.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2013
  13. benignintenz

    benignintenz Fapstronaut

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    Correct re: Power of Now. Very useful technique for me. Has also helped with anger management.

    I do not have a support person in my life so i guess -- no one! :-(

    Sounds worse than it is.
     
  14. Rondo

    Rondo New Fapstronaut

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    Yup, I totally understand you bro. Same with me. P has conditioned us to view women as a means of pleasure. The #MeToo movement is shedding light on sexual harassment and rape culture in the workplace and elsewhere now. But I think what the women behind the movement fail to understand is the severity of the impact that P has on the modern male psyche.
     
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